Broke up

[Angeleyes7715]

I broke up with another bf. It was me, I did it. I wonder if I did the right thing or was it just an impulsive choice. The other day a guy friend told me half in joking I'm already going to be single forever. Maybe that's a bit dramatic, but it could be right...

I am of course depressed over everything. I did this mostly because of one thing he said to me in my whole decision about waiting for sex.
It was since you're not a virgin what are you protecting.

I tried to explain I believe ill go to hell if I'm fornicating and I die. He doesn't believe that of course. He said he wouldnt pressure me for sex, but in his heart he would be laughing thinking what am I holding on to.

It's over now. He got his explanation and his closure, but I feel bad about my decision this person struggles with my same issue and seemed understanding in many other ways and wanted a real relationship.Maybe I was wrong. This was my only chance probably to find someone more like myself that cared about me and would marry me. I blew it and get insecure and upset over this and I leave him, like I always do to men. If God is going to leave me alone in this life I wish he would just end my life because I hate my creation.

I feel like a fool. I do this to almost every guy i date. I just break things off when they say one thing or bug me for sex or they say something about God I don't like or anything like that. Or when my Dad or people I talk to tell me I should leave the person, I let it influence me. I told my dad what the guy said and he said that man's not going to respect you and you should cut him loose. So I did. I am so foolish. This is how you end up single forever.

Why did God waste time making someone so worthless like me. I don't want to live on this hellish planet anymore.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

"Why did God waste time making someone so worthless like me. I don't want to live on this hellish planet anymore."

I've this thought so many times because I constantly meet great guys but I fall short,,its always me. Not them.. But you aren't worthless Angel, your smart and pretty, ambitious, any guy would be so lucky to have a woman like you.

Just be patient, waiting is only a matter of time. I have faith you'll be off the single market soon.