Bringing Man to Woman?

[wvmtnkid]

Sorry to burst your bubble guys, but unfortunatelty this isn't attributed just to females. Males do this too. I have felt like I was the "stand in" until someone better came along.

I am not saying this to start an all out war between males and females! I just think it is good advice for both genders to take to heart. Be honest with people, be considerate of their hearts and feelings. I know that sometimes that is asking alot, but it is important, as I believe all of us on the other side can attest to.

 

[rach]

Sorry to burst your bubble guys, but unfortunatelty this isn't attributed just to females. Males do this too. I have felt like I was the "stand in" until someone better came along.

I am not saying this to start an all out war between males and females! I just think it is good advice for both genders to take to heart. Be honest with people, be considerate of their hearts and feelings. I know that sometimes that is asking alot, but it is important, as I believe all of us on the other side can attest to.

Agreed!

 

[looksgood]

Ya know I think I will jump in here. I have been all over the land on this topic (other than the promised land lol). I COMPLEATLY agree that these games are usless. I could never understand the reasoning behind the "hard to get" game, and the "easy to get but you aint geting me anyway" game. I mean what is the real point?! If you want to be caught, why not allow it? If you don't, why act like you do?! It makes no sence! Guys DO NOT do that as far as I know. At least I don't.

Anyway, because I don't know where else to post it I will do so here. I used to have an amazing desire to find a good wife. I would still like to find a wife but I got to the point in my life where I am fine being alone too. The thing is, I would still like someone to be with. Someone on the same level as me. You know, someone I can get into the deep things of God with. But also someone who likes the things I do and thinks like I do. Doesn't have to be a perfect match but I think haveing things in common is a must. Anyway, all those things are good enough for a friend to do. So I guess that is what I really want. But I would like to go past that too. Everyone I think wants to feel they are loved deeply. I am no exception. I love the thought of having someone to have and to hold.

But I am not FAST either. I always believed in friends first but with the open understanding of possably more.

I have actualy been thinking of finding a christian personals thing on the net. Think I should? I never thought much bout them till now but I am starting to wonder if maybe I should.

 

[Hewitt]

I have actualy been thinking of finding a christian personals thing on the net. Think I should? I never thought much bout them till now but I am starting to wonder if maybe I should.

I'm not going to say no, but I'm going to say pray about it a lot.

Keep your eyes open and someone should come along. I think it would be incredibly hard to meet someone over the internet because you don't really know a person completely until you can spend time with them in person and around others to see what they are like. The way people interact with others is really important because it says a lot about them. Plus, when looking for a wife, in my eyes it's kind of important to see how they handle kids and things like that because I want to have a family someday and it's important to me that they share this desire. Some things like that I just can't trust on the internet, but like I said before, just pray about it.

 

[looksgood]

Yeah well there is one big problem with them anyway. Ya got to pay to talk to ppl. You can sign up for free but thats it lol. Anyone know one that lets you put your email up?

 

[James Sez]

Some things like that I just can't trust on the internet, but like I said before, just pray about it.

I agree. Some people can keep their true nature hidden even in face-to-face relationships. It's very hard to gauge a persons real personality over the net. Their is always a chance they could be a real nutcase-in-waiting. You just never know.

 

[looksgood]

True, thats why I wasn't planing on basing everything on the net talks lol. I was thinking of meeting ppl and being friends (if they aint crazy lol), and seeing what happens. But who knows, maybe God has better plans.

 

[James Sez]

True, thats why I wasn't planing on basing everything on the net talks lol. I was thinking of meeting ppl and being friends (if they aint crazy lol), and seeing what happens. But who knows, maybe God has better plans.

A big thumbs up buddy. Go for it and enjoy yourself. I like the part about being friends since that it where it begins. I'll just bet there is a saintly Christian babe out there with your name written all over her.

 

[jenptcfan]

Sorry if I'm a little off topic (this goes along more with some of the early posts on the topic).

About God bringing man to woman, I don't think that means guys are supposed to be "skirt chasers" and that girls are just supposed to sit around in their house all day hoping someone will show up on their doorstep.

I think that it means we should all be careful to be doing what God's will is for us. For instance, if I know it's God's will for me to be involved with some sort of community service project, but I think I'd rather do something else instead, I could be missing out on the guy God has for me. It could be that part of the reason it's God's will for me to be involved is because that's where he has planned for me to meet my future husband.

You don't have to chase skirts to find that "one"...in fact, it's a bad way to find "the one" ...but if you're seeking God's will in your life, he will lead you to the person he has for you.

As usual, those are my opinions.

 

[Mark W]

Marriage is a type of our relationship with Christ. It was Christ that entered into my world and pursued me. I did not pursue him. He loved me first! He came looking for me. He wooed me and I fell head over heals in love with him.

Men are the pursuers and you will see that all through scripture. We are to pursue the one that God gives us. Pursue her in purity and passion. Ladies love to be pursued and men love to pursue. The problem arrise when we "defraud" one another. God deals with such things severely. Let us be honest with one another in our relationships. But let us not lay aside that for which we were made! Men, pursue the woman you would marry. But be forwarned, do not flame up in her, the emotions you would expect from a wife until you are ready to make her your wife!

Blessings,

Mark

 

[looksgood]

Well put mark. Though at times I wish we men didn't have the job of pursuing. It's the head games that really make me sick lol. Wonder if there is any out there who do not play head games. Cause some how I don't see the virtuos woman playing hard to get, or easy to get either. I see her as being chaste and pure, while at the same time HONEST! If she is interested I would hope she would comunicate that, and if not she should comunicate that too.


I think these head games came from the world and not from God.

 

[ps34_18]

I'd like to point out, that it's really hard to communicate interest if the guy doesn't indicate interest first. It goes along with the whole being pursued thing. For me personally, I'm not about to let a guy know I'm interested in him if I don't know for sure that he's interested back. Really, if he wants to know, he should just ask...don't wait around for me to tell him. And even if he isn't interested, but still wants to know, just ask. It's a lot easier to be dishonest when you're not being asked straight questions...and really...I'm not one who likes being dishonest, I just don't like to reveal my feelings if I don't think they're going to be reciprocated...

 

[James Sez]

I'd like to point out, that it's really hard to communicate interest if the guy doesn't indicate interest first. It goes along with the whole being pursued thing. For me personally, I'm not about to let a guy know I'm interested in him if I don't know for sure that he's interested back. Really, if he wants to know, he should just ask...don't wait around for me to tell him. And even if he isn't interested, but still wants to know, just ask. It's a lot easier to be dishonest when you're not being asked straight questions...and really...I'm not one who likes being dishonest, I just don't like to reveal my feelings if I don't think they're going to be reciprocated...

It's nice when relationships start with a good friendship. It can be a natural, non-threatening way to feel each other out. If it does not lead to romance, you can end up with a wonderful friend.

 

[Buskanaka]

For me personally, I'm not about to let a guy know I'm interested in him if I don't know for sure that he's interested back. Really, if he wants to know, he should just ask...don't wait around for me to tell him. ...I just don't like to reveal my feelings if I don't think they're going to be reciprocated...

have you ever thought that maybe men feel the same way? You say "Really, if he wants to know, he should just ask" making it sound like the easiest thing in the world when you plainly show that you are scared of letting your own feelings show. Men don't like getting rejected any more than women.

 

[Mark W]

Men don't like getting rejected. It is not an easy thing. But Christ did not let rejection keep him from asking his bride for her hand.

Men are to be men! God ordained them to lead. I always told my sister that if a guy wasn't bold enough to ask her out, he wasn't bold enough to protect her in other ways.

Be bold my friend! You have it in you! You really do. Deep down, you know you are meant to be as bold as a lion.

 

[ps34_18]

have you ever thought that maybe men feel the same way? You say "Really, if he wants to know, he should just ask" making it sound like the easiest thing in the world when you plainly show that you are scared of letting your own feelings show. Men don't like getting rejected any more than women.

Oh I'm fully aware of the fact that it's not an easy thing to ask. But as Mark said, God ordained men to be the leaders in the relationship, and if he can't get the courage up to ask me what my feelings are and to reveal his feelings, what does that say about him? I know it's not easy, especially when a lot of girls don't handle things right when a guy does speak up.

But for myself, I've had a bad experience with a guy finding out how I felt about him before we'd gotten to be good enough friends, and it ruined the friendship we'd been developing. I guess from that I'm rather hesitant to reveal my feelings to a guy before our friendship has developed to a point where having him find out won't ruin our relationship.

 

[Buskanaka]

yeah I fully agree that men should have the courage to go after a girl and be the leader in the relationship, I just want you thinking that it wasn't as scary or hard for men to do. Sorry if I sounded argumentative or anything. Sometimes I think that women take it too far and just expect the guy to do everything. We can sure use any help! And for me, I think a great girl would be worth any risk. My fear of losing a girl without telling my feelings is greater than my fear of rejection.

 

[en|gma]

Yeah well there is one big problem with them anyway. Ya got to pay to talk to ppl. You can sign up for free but thats it lol. Anyone know one that lets you put your email up?

Well, u can try christiansonline.com.au i just registered and didnt pay. I got one message...he paid to have my email address But true...even if I joined this, Im not really so serious about finding someone over the net. Even if it's a Christian website.

God is more creative than that and I believe that He is writing a very romantic love story unique for me.

 

[en|gma]

yeah I fully agree that men should have the courage to go after a girl and be the leader in the relationship, I just want you thinking that it wasn't as scary or hard for men to do. Sorry if I sounded argumentative or anything. Sometimes I think that women take it too far and just expect the guy to do everything. We can sure use any help! And for me, I think a great girl would be worth any risk. My fear of losing a girl without telling my feelings is greater than my fear of rejection.

Amen to that! How I wish all guys think like you!

 

[en|gma]

I dont really want to add to heaps of literature about man-woman relationships. There are lots of Christian books out there about these things.

But anyway, I would just like to AGREE to all those who said that Guys should initiate and be clear about their intentions. You think girls are hard to read? Well, you guys are hard to read as well! If you want to know a girl more...have the guts to say your intentions. Besides, GIRLS DONT BITE.

And about God's will for your life. We are to pray fervently for our partner in life to be. If you want, with all the specifics, whatever you have in your dream guy/girl list. So that when he/she comes along, you will recognize him/her and be able to thank God. And then, pray and ask for guidance in that matter.

By praying, you will not miss out on God's will.

I actually found someone who fitted every description of the man I have been praying for all my life. He is a pastor's kid. Unfortunately, he is very shy...I can sense he has interest but he is not bold enough to make his intentions clear. Even asking for a group date makes him blush! I guess I still have to pray for him.