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Breaking the ice
- Thread starter mojoboy31
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat
For who can resist his will?
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat
For who can resist his will?
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat
For who can resist his will?
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat
For who can resist his will?
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I kind of feel like its wasting valuable time when you keep beating around the bush with people you want to be with.
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat
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ImAllLikeOkWaitWat
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Because there are women who appreciate creativity in starting a conversation.
Jesus did the same thing to the Samaritan woman to start a conversation
I'm not saying let that be the first thing you say of course. I just mean get to the point sooner than later. You don't want to be working on asking a person out for a long period of time. Time is too valuable to do that. If your goal is to be with a person, keep that goal in mind and get to it. The sooner you know the better off both of you will be.
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- Oct 19, 2014
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So tabling the fart noise mating call for now, I bumped into her on my way out of work. She said hi first, that was cool. Then I grabbed a bottle of water and hopped into the aisle where she was stocking. Was gonna ask her how her day was, but suddenly felt dumb, standing there in my sunglasses even tho I was still indoors, and had my hands full, trying to hold my labcoat, all my work stuff, and the bottle of water, plus probably have to grab something off the shelf so it looked like I had a reason to be there-- but she came over to me and asked me something. She approached me!.. And then I was able to joke with her a little, and chat for a minute before telling her to have a good day and heading out the aisle. So.... I guess you can say things are getting pretty serious xD
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name_is_irrelevant
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i used to have social anxiety disorder, so not too difficult a thing to imagine.
ask open ended questions rather than those that can be answer yes or no. if they constantly give you one-word answers, that person either doesn't like you, doesn't have much going on upstairs, or is crippled with shyness. (or they may just be letting you take the lead; up to you if you want to do all the work, but imo a good conversation requires two people to be actively engaged, not just one doing all the work.) in any of those situations, it may be better to find someone else to chat with.
don't get too personal too quick. melt the ice. it takes time for people to open up. this bothers me at church sometimes, you talk to someone for 10 minutes and they want to know very deep personal things. too soon.
be warm and smile, don't interrupt, listen when they talk, and don't bother trying to start a conversation if you aren't genuinely interested in them as a person. that's a waste of their time and yours. unless it's a work situation where you have to get on with them or something, but if you're trying to make friends, no.
accept that they may simply be too shy to talk to you right now. so don't obsess; move on. sometimes people will be more open to you when you already have friends, whereas if you're a loner they may not want to know you. catch-22 with that person, so you find someone else. also some people don't like meeting people one on one, but through a group.
lastly, realise that in any given social encounter, a person may react to you in a variety of ways, many of which have nothing to do with you. so don't assume a person's reactions to you are indicative of your lack of social skill. this was a big one for me, helped undo a lot of self esteem issues that came from taking on too much responsibility.
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