Bottoming Out

[oneishmael]

Here again. The familiar smells and sights. 21 mnths sobriety gone and in three and a half months the life that came with it. Full knowing yet willfully making the same choices. Punishment stage. Career-my first opportunity for one- and like the opportunities to recover-I have watched them pass. The drive, the desire for God and life have taken a leave of absence as I've injected my way out of career and home. I once believed I did not want to reside in the heart of poverty and yet this quarter year has brought the progression to reality.I know the steps,have walked the path of recovery and now it seems harder to muster the will to move the stiff muscle and clamber up that first step.

 

[Laurel Crowned]

Here again. The familiar smells and sights. 21 mnths sobriety gone and in three and a half months the life that came with it. Full knowing yet willfully making the same choices. Punishment stage. Career-my first opportunity for one- and like the opportunities to recover-I have watched them pass. The drive, the desire for God and life have taken a leave of absence as I've injected my way out of career and home. I once believed I did not want to reside in the heart of poverty and yet this quarter year has brought the progression to reality.I know the steps,have walked the path of recovery and now it seems harder to muster the will to move the stiff muscle and clamber up that first step.

Hey oneishmael, don't give up on yourself or on God. You might not be able to walk those steps out of the pit you've allowed yourself to fall into, but his arms are long enough to pull you out. His grace extends to you. Praying.

 

[gmadison]

Here again. The familiar smells and sights. 21 mnths sobriety gone and in three and a half months the life that came with it. Full knowing yet willfully making the same choices. Punishment stage. Career-my first opportunity for one- and like the opportunities to recover-I have watched them pass. The drive, the desire for God and life have taken a leave of absence as I've injected my way out of career and home. I once believed I did not want to reside in the heart of poverty and yet this quarter year has brought the progression to reality.I know the steps,have walked the path of recovery and now it seems harder to muster the will to move the stiff muscle and clamber up that first step.

God is still interested in using you for His glory. Sounds like you know enough to get back to recapturing an actively intimate relationship with the Lord. Sounds like there may have been some things that were missing. Believe me, I've been there. Only seven months sober and clean now, but I've gained more ground then ever. Or should I say that the Lord has gained plenty of ground in the hardened heart of mine. I suggest the courses on www.settingcaptivesfree.com and the book entitled "Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave". I hope and pray that you will get back in step. I'd like to tell you more of how much I can relate, but I am at a veterans' homeless facility where my computer use is limited.
I'd be glad to hear from you. Please respond.
Sincerely yours,
Greg

 

[Laurel Crowned]

oneishmael committed suicide on Friday January 19th. Please pray for his family and others who struggle with depression and addiction.

 

[stelow]

I am so sorry to hear that. I am praying for his family and others who struggle with this in there life.

 

[LoG]

Very saddening to hear. Thanks for posting that info Laurel, we need to be reminded how dangerous drug and alcohol addiction can be.