Last night I was having a hard time getting to sleep. So I decided to grab the Bible. I started reading the book of Ecclesiastes aloud. I usually read to myself, but I decided to read aloud to try and focus a little better. And I believed it helped me. I was already thinking about the next day, how it was going to be fresh and new. I was thinking about how I was going to study scripture and pray. I was feeling good about the next day. But I go to sleep and wake up at 4am battling an onslaught of blasphemous thoughts. I really didn't know how to react. There was really no anxiety attached to them. I remembered a conversation between some Christians that was about how the enemy can not read our thoughts, but just our actions and emotions or something. I didn't want to do anything to show that I was distressed about the situation. I was canceling the thoughts in my mind, and even canceled the thoughts verbally a few times. The blasphemies want to come to my mind even more loud and clear now it seems. And how did today go? I was very discouraged, and could hardly pray at all. Feel like I botched everything. Anyone else ever felt like this? Guess I just wanted to vent. I'm feeling kinda confused at the moment. If you guys would pray, I would appreciate that. Thanks.
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Botching an oppurtunity?
- Thread starter TheDeepblue
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kaykay9.0
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Prayers for you Deep Blue. Yes, sometimes battling OCD can get very wearying. I think we've all been there~the kind of situation you described in one way or the other. Hang in, little brother!
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picassoui
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i think i do understand .... lately i have had one attack of thoughts after another , and atr times i have been so tired i mean so tired that i dont feel the same anxiety over them like i usually do .... but just like me .. and just like you you we are CONCERNED even if it we are tired .. the very concern about shows that we do in fact care that we do not want these thoughts and that we are slightly worried ..
If you were not you would not even had made this Thread
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I guess you're right picassoui. I remember when I first starting dealing with this the anxiety was so overwhelming, I remember saying "I wish I would have died as soon as the Lord saved me". But the anxiety is nothing like that now. And of course I don't know why. It could be the medication. Then I also worry that my conscience is being grinded down to nothing. It just feels unfair sometimes. I look at other people I am around and think "They don't think about the unpardonable sin all day long like I do." And it's almost like I am being tempted/tormented with it every waking moment of my life or something.
And thanks for prayers guys.
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Hey guys, just wanted to say that I don not mean to offend anyone with my posts. For some reason I think I may have said something that may have upset somebody. I may be wrong, but just want to say I'm sorry if I did. I hope that my posts aren't seen as vicious rants or anything. I'm just kinda posting how I feel and doing it as humbly and calm as I can.
And I really do appreciate the prayers. I don't mean to sound as if I'm just shrugging your prayers off like they aren't important to me, because they are.
And I really do appreciate the prayers. I don't mean to sound as if I'm just shrugging your prayers off like they aren't important to me, because they are.
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