Blondes

[lilredheadangel1]

I absolutely loved the one about the cornflakes. I told it to my boyfriend and we both laughed for several minutes!

 

[garry2]

Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

 

[garry2]

Replacement Windows​

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind.

Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

Hellloooo,....... just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.
So... I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year: "In ONE YEAR these windows will pay for themselves." "Helllooooo?

It's been a year!" I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.

He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

 

[garry2]

I absolutely loved the one about the cornflakes. I told it to my boyfriend and we both laughed for several minutes!

Yeah that's the best.

 

[helmut]

Replacement Windows​

This is the best joke so far! (imho)

 

[Jesse O.]

I bet he felt like an idiot.

Yep! lol that was a good joke.

 

[cbartgu]

hah lol

 

[LoverofMuzik]

Best blonde joke ever

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and
help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how
to

get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all
over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then
turns

to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's
have
a nice cup of tea, and then .." he said with a deep sigh, . .. . .


"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."


Another blonde joke

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN
ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS
SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS
TO SEE HER TICKET.

SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY
CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, 'I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.'

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS
THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE
BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN
ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO
EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY
SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, 'I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.'

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD
HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST
THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, 'YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE.'

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR,
AND SHE SAYS, 'OH, I'M SORRY.' AND GETS UP AND GOES
BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY..

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND
ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT
ANY FUSS.

'I TOLD HER,
'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO '

OH MY GOSH !!! " I speak blonde " , never heard that one before !!! ROFL !!

 

[LoverofMuzik]

These are all very funny, thanks for the laughs !!

 

[SithDoughnut]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!"

 

[God'schild09]

LOL!That's a funny joke.

 

[AlabamaScout]

Here's another one.

Four blonde women walk into a restaurant and order drinks. When the waiter brings them, the women all raise their glasses. One of them says "To 51 days!"

The women then order food. As the waiter goes to place the order, the women again raise their glasses. This time, a different woman says "To 51 days!"

The waiter then brings them their food. When he does, they raise their glasses a third time. "Wait", says the waiter, "why do you all keep toasting to 51 days?"

"Well" says one of the women, "we just finished a puzzle. The box says '3-4 years' but we did it in 51 days"

 

[Nightingale03]

LOL those are both GREAT!

 

[Christ4Life1]

ROFL

Dont got none but lol at the corn flakes one.. i can picture it in mah head rofllll

 

[God'schild09]

I love these jokes.They are hilarious.Where did you get all these hilarious jokes...LOL!!!

 

[God'schild09]

And LOL AlbamaScout.That joke is hilarious.I need to tell that to mu friends..lol!!!

 

[bessiewng]

lol, it is an interesting one!

 

[goldenviolet]

hehe i love them both.

 

[Dr. Mac]

lol the corn flakes joke is great

 

[Silent_J]

Hee. Nothing better than being a blonde who enjoys blonde jokes.