Blondes

[garry2]

LOL the first class isn't going to toronto part of the 2nd joke is funny

Yeah that's my favorite.

 

[Harmonious_Echo]

Hey I am a blonde and I think these are hilarious!

 

[garry2]

A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'
'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'
'Just three questions' said St Peter.
'Which are?' asked the blonde.
'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the
letter 'T' '?
The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'
The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I
call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.' So the
blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same). The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied,
'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the
letter T?'
The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the
answer can be applied to the question. 'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'
The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'
'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'
'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of
February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your
answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his
head. A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the
answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.' 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

( for those not familar with the song "Walzing Matilda" the verse here is:
and he sat and he watched and he waited till his billy boiled)

'It's Andy.'
'Andy??'
'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating
the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'
'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy
boiled.'

. . .and the blonde entered into Heaven...... ....

 

[Servant of Jesus]

A blonde decides to go to a night club act featuring a ventriloquist telling- what else- blonde jokes.

But after a few jokes, the blonde in the audience jumps up in protest and exclaims "Those blonde jokes are outrageous and just not appropriate anymore!"

The ventriloquist very apologetically says "I'm sorry, ma'am- I didn't mean to offend......" at which point, he is cut-off by the blonde, who says "You stay out of it- I'm talking to that little guy on your knee."

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.'

. . .and the blonde entered into Heaven...... ....

In the version I heard, the final question was, "What is God's name?" The answer was the same; Andy. The basis for the answer: the old hymn, "In the Garden." You know, the one that goes, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me...."

 

[Harmonious_Echo]

*giggles*

 

[HopeSeeker]

Love both of these jokes. Especially the corn flakes one. =)

 

[garry2]

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One
would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved
on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl
digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what
they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the

effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do
you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up
again?'

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably
looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl
who plants the trees called in sick.'

 

[thriftyEvie]

rooster joke was so funny,LOL

 

[thriftyEvie]

the rooster blond joke had me rolling on the floor LOL!

 

[TheMainException]

This stuff is hilarious and I used to be a golden curled blond kid (not since I was very young, but still).

 

[gennypearl]

 

[johnd]

The OP reminded me of a Family Guy Commercial. Not to worry, it was only the commercial.

The fat guy leans into his bowl of cereal at the breakfast table and proclaims, "I see a message in my cereal. It says 'ooooo.'"

The talking dog who is at the breakfast table reading the morning newspaper says dryly, "Peter, those are Cheerios."

 

[icarusforde]

The OP reminded me of a Family Guy Commercial. Not to worry, it was only the commercial.

The fat guy leans into his bowl of cereal at the breakfast table and proclaims, "I see a message in my cereal. It says 'ooooo.'"

The talking dog who is at the breakfast table reading the morning newspaper says dryly, "Peter, those are Cheerios."

LOL. Awesome.

 

[johnd]

A blond driver got pulled over for speeding by a blond police officer.

"License and registration, please, ma'am."

"Gracious. This is my first time... what's a license?"

​

"Uh, it's that thing in your purse with your picture on it," the officer said patiently.

After a moment of fumbling through her purse, the driver grabbed her compact, opened it and saw her reflection. She triumphantly produced the compact to the office. The the office took one look at it and handed it back to her and said "you can go. Why didn't you tell me you were on the police force?"

​

​

 

[trimmjoy]

lol

 

[thriftyEvie]

too funny, too funny

 

[Jesus4Life777]

I love blonds but

-Two blonds are on either side of a lake. One blond yells across to the other "how do you get to the other side!?". The other blond shouts back "you ARE on the other side!"

 

[trichchic]

lol all the way around.

 

[WorshipBassist]

:d