Bitterness...

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

It seems whenever I see happy couples or married couples or even women who are pregnate or with babies, I get really bitter and mad. Like I get so bitter it ruins my day. Specially since wedding season is upon us. I hate it when people talk about their sig/other and how happy they are and how much they love eachother. I hate being bitter, but I cant help it.

Does anyone else suffer from bitterness? and if so (or not) how do you handle it or get over it?

 

[Hewitt]

I've never understood God's timing very well but I'm positive it's right. I know it can be hard to be patient but God's got everything laid out for you. Take advantage of the time you have when you are single to focus even more time and attention on God. There are some advantages to being single that are often forgotten.

 

[psycmajor]

Sign Of The Fish,

Sorry to hear that. Is there anything about being single that you really hate? Do you feel pressure to be a part of a pair?

I agree with Hewitt. We may not understand God's timing, but it is perfect. I think God wants you to be single right now. I don't know for what reason, but apparently that's His plan. That doesn't mean that it's forever, of course.

Here's one possibility: perhaps God wants you to be near to Him for now. Right now may be a preparation time for a future relationship with a man. God might want you to learn and understand some things before you go for the plunge. I think this happens at different stages of life, and may depend upon how strong your relationship with God already is.

What you think is best for yourself may not be what God thinks is best. And God wants only the best for you. The catch is, everything is on His terms. Be assured, however, that His motives are good and sincere. He loves you.

Wait on Him, and pray.

 

[Donny_B]

The tenth commandment is "Thou shalt not covet". We should be satisfied with what we have, because God knows what our needs are and can see the end of things from the beginning. We are stuck here in time, but God sees things eternally. God gives us a word of encouragement by telling us that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).

Seemingly insignificant events in one's life can have a very significant impact on global events that we may not see at the time. If your parents had not met at a specific time in world history but had married other people, you would not even be here. But God wanted you to be here, so He put it in your parents hearts to meet at a certain time and to be married. To make this possible, your parents had to go through some heartbreaks until they met the right person.

Just trust in God and His plan for your life.

 

[Knight]

Sign,

No offense here but you're only 20. God will accomplish all things He intends for your life through His timing. It looks like there's plenty of time.

I was 25 before I even met my wife. If you had told me this when I was your age I would have thought you crazy.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

psychmajor-
I dont really know what it is about being single that I hate so much. I guess it might have to do with the whole mIke thing. If you dont know the story I could give u the cliff notes version, anyways, before Imet him I Was so happy to be single, I wasnt looking or anytihng then I met him and fell for him and I mean FELL for him. Then a month or so after meeting him and getting really close to him he had to move away to out west (I am on the east) because he is a youth pastor, Now we stayed in touch and just about 2-3 weeks ago he stopped talking to me completely. Not even a word. I emailed him msg'd him everything and nothing. And before you all say maybe there is a reason behind it, save it because I have heared it all and he has been online and has talked to other people that knows him that I am good friends with.

Anyways I found out hes comming home in August because of reasons. Anyways I just am miserable after this. Like honestly I really liked this guy ALOT.

So I dont know what is is about being single I hate. There is much jealousy on my part when I see couples or hear about them. Just the other day my friends said her and her boyfriend who were together for 3 years then broke up and now htta she is a christian has allowed them to get back together, and she was sop happy and I couldnt even be happy for her. I hate this!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

I realize I am young and there is no rush. And I know God has something great for me and I am sure there is areason why I am single right now, and I actually see it because an amazing opportunity has opend up for me just a week ago and I leave Sunday to work at a christian childrens camp for the whole summer, which I couldnt do if I were with someone. And Childrens ministry is defenetly my calling from God... I cant escape it...

ANyways.... what do you guys think?

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Its so hard because no one understand how close Mike and I got in such a short time. People dont see it or know it, but I do. And there is a peice of me that cant let him go... I still think and hope that when he comes home something will happen. I still pray about it all the time. I mean I didnt even want anything with this guy!! But it was like oh too bad your gonna fall hard for him. And I know he felt the same because we talked about it all the time. HE was the one who initiated the whole thing!!

But there is a part of me that cant let him go... its so strange. I keep thinking maybe, which sucks because I need to let him go.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[Hewitt]

Hmm...tough situation for you. Maybe you are right about God giving you this period of being single so you can experience things like the church camp. As for Mike, if he really is the guy God has picked out for you there is no reason to worry about it because God will make it happen. But if Mike isn't the one you should be encouraged as well because that means God has someone even better waiting for you in the future!

 

[DaveKerwin]

I made a post which was lost before the recent upgrade. It was about not being able to get over your ex. I have some very hard advice for you, but I do believe it will help. I know this first hand from listening very closely to a good friend of mine.

Don't talk to your ex, ever. If he calls, do not answer. If he writes, rip it up. Do not contact him in anyway. When you talk with someone who knows him, do not allow them to tell you what is going on in his life. Stop them as soon as you hear his name. Get rid of pictures, get rid of cute little things. Realize that you will not marry him. Realize that you will not marry him!! I think this is difficult, but when you find yourself getting down about it, rebuke those thoughts and think about something different. Remember that Satan will hit you at your weakness, and to me, your emotional attachment to your ex is your biggest weakness. Be strong in the lord, put on the the armor of God. Be closer to God than ever before and ask him to take this away from you. Consider the plans God has for you, and accept where he has you today. Be strong.

 

[ZiSunka]

It seems whenever I see happy couples or married couples or even women who are pregnate or with babies, I get really bitter and mad. Like I get so bitter it ruins my day. Specially since wedding season is upon us. I hate it when people talk about their sig/other and how happy they are and how much they love eachother. I hate being bitter, but I cant help it.

Does anyone else suffer from bitterness? and if so (or not) how do you handle it or get over it?

This is the definition of covetting. You are covetting marriage, and that's not healthy.

Repent and confess to someone and ask for their help in keeping you accountable for this sin. God is dying for you to repent this and to accept His soveriegn will for your own life, and not be bitter and covetous about other people's blessings.

 

[Bedwyr]

I think L is right. It's one thing to have certain bouts of the lonelies (nasty disease that, I get it at times myself), especially when the wedding season gets going. But to be really, honestly bitter is a place you can't dwell in. . . especially at the age of 20. I wasn't going to respond like Lambslove either, but now that I think about it there really is an element of covetousness in what you're saying.

Think about it this way. God has given you a life and a set of experiences that are beyond good; it's almost an understatement to call this life "Very Good" as He does His creation in Genesis. You're expressing dissatisfaction with that life and experience and generally saying to Him, "What you gave me isn't satisfactory; It isn't good enough for me."

A better response might be to have a chat with Him about the painful, hurtful parts. Those are honest feelings and shouldn't be discounted. In fact, dump everything on Him. He's a good listener and cares enough about your welfare that He won't belittle or wrong those painful parts (even though He has the long view of your life and this might be really tiny). Granted there might be a few points He'd rebuke you on, but it's for your best interests so it's worth listening to.

And for goodness' sake, love life. It's a beautiful thing whether you have someone on your arm or not. I know how innate human desires get, but they don't limit my ability to take in the beauty of living. It is all a pleasant and good gift, and I'm enjoying this sublime stuff immensely (especially now that summer is here ).

Best,
Bedwyr

This is the definition of covetting. You are covetting marriage, and that's not healthy.

Repent and confess to someone and ask for their help in keeping you accountable for this sin. God is dying for you to repent this and to accept His soveriegn will for your own life, and not be bitter and covetous about other people's blessings.

 

[Clytie]

3 words : Commune with God

its helpd me MUCHLY

 

[silverpie]

All I can say about this is, in my case, one of the facets of what's wrong with my mind (it's called Asperger's disorder, to give it a technical name) is that we have a very hard time feeling happiness at a good thing granted to another. I myself have overcome this to some extent, but when it comes to the case of someone who has just received what I seek for so desperately without finding, and in so doing has reduced by a little more the chance that I ever will, I can't do it.

 

[Icystwolf]

It seems whenever I see happy couples or married couples or even women who are pregnate or with babies, I get really bitter and mad. Like I get so bitter it ruins my day. Specially since wedding season is upon us. I hate it when people talk about their sig/other and how happy they are and how much they love eachother. I hate being bitter, but I cant help it.

Does anyone else suffer from bitterness? and if so (or not) how do you handle it or get over it?

I suffer being useless. On the one hand, I keep telling a lot of wise elders from church that I'm picky when I find a date and I get praise from that. But on the otherhand, a lot of my asian friends go a long with an asian girl and I feel kinda misplaced in that group.

Like I mean, they've introduced me to a load number of girls, and I can't find in my heart, any way of bring myself to any of them. And after I lost my chance on it, I do feel a bitter. For the girls that I do admire, they're around 4yrs older than I am, and very much at marrying age.

I had an admirer at uni, she just wouldn't stop staring at me when she co-incidentally find me at the food bar. She's kinda good looking, and I would have thought it'd be an easy target...but in the end, again, my heart is pulling me back. My heart is making me feel, as though she's not special enough for me...and this pride is annoying.

It's almost like, if they wern't christian, it's an auto "No"...or if they are Christian and they have a twisted belief...again auto "No". Theres so many things in me that I don't pick up buy my heart does.

I wish I had a therapist that could fix that problem, but all the elders are admiring this characteristic of mine that I don't have the courage to tell them it's really affecting me. I'm not even sure if it is a problem...

I would like a relationship, but I would like one where my heart dosen't complain...
I suppose I'll have to keep praying.

I would really like to get the useless and bitter feeling out of me as well!

 

[ZiSunka]

Relax and trust God to bring you the right person and to show you who he/she is at the right time.

 

[hotknikkels]

Relax and trust God to bring you the right person and to show you who he/she is at the right time.

could not of said it better!!! That is what I am doing!

 

[Zach91]

Yeah, it's hard for me to watch all of my friends at church getting married. Can't help but feel a little bitter that it is never my turn.

 

[AwesomeSock]

Bitterness is overrated. Be sweet instead.

Sweetness > Bitterness