Birth Control

[Johnnz]

We have become virtual parents toa young woman. She was 14 when we first met. She told me about her sexual beginnings after dropping some hints which I followed up on. She did want to talk and for me to know. She sometimes would ask "You believe what I am doing is wrong, don't you?" I always answered "Yes I do." But she also knew that we cared for her and that our relationship did not depend on her agreeing with our sexual values. It was much broader than that.

She recently married, is doing well in her life and is a very special person to us. Had she been my biological daughter I would not have treated her any differently. My Christian faith is far broader than being dependant on a single issue to value a person and our relationship.

You may not agree with her sexual activity, but the very best thing you can do is to always see her as your loved daughter. And, maintain that relationship and you will maintain the basis to discuss with her many other major issues in her life.

John
NZ

 

[onlooker]

Far as telling her father goes, yes I plan to. He will take it fairly hard so I am not sure how to go about this.

Being the father of two teenage girls, I'd go ballistic if I had ever found out my wife withheld information such as this from me. But she and I are very open and honest, so I don't have to worry about it. I applaude you for being the same. Actually, from what I have witnessed on here since I've been on CF, I don't think any of the wives on here would withhold such a thing from their husbands.
Buncha cool ladies you all are!

 

[BeachBlonde]

Something most of us are going to deal with. I look back at my own teenage years and realize my mistakes will either make it easier for my daughters to say well,you did it or they will learn and see how young I was starting a family and how much I have at times missed out on. I had the birth control talk with our oldest daughter,I'm not sure she wants to hear me right now.I tried to start early. Talked to her at 11.She's 13 now.

 

[lavenderskies]

I talked with my oldest daughter at her pace. I waited for questions and I gave honest answers. I am so thankful for that. My daughter is 15 and on birth control but it is for her irregular cycle. I also type medical charts for a doctor office with 5 doctors in it. I have typed charts for girls as young as 12 that came in for pregnancy tests. It breaks my heart. I am so thankful that my soon to be 16 year old has a heart for Christ. She has a promise ring, she wears with great pride. It says True Love Waits. She has only had 1 serious boyfriend. They dated for about a year. He knew without a doubt she was going to wait for marriage, and he respected that. I pray she continues this way.
I would say you handled the situation with your daughter correctly. Also this shows her you can handle the truth, so perhaps now she can see that she can talk to you.
I would also let the daughter take part in talking to daddy if she wants to.