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Bipolar Disorder...

umm hi, i've been in therapy for 3 years now, and they aren't sure what my diagnosis is. but a therapist that i had seen for 2 of those years thinks that i may be bipolar. i don't know if i am. i trust her judgement becuase sometimes she knows me better than i know myself. she says i may be bipolar because i am very moody, and i have self destructive behaviours. and because my biological mother did drugs while carrying me, and i was abused and neglected for several years of my life. right now i am only on one drug Remeron. after they tooke me off or rather i took myself off 6 other drugs. i don't really want anything. maybe just to know other people exist.
 
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Deamiter

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I'm not sure which route your psychologist is considering... but what you're on now is more tailored for a general anxiety or depression. I'd look at some of the options - and perhaps you could post about it as I'd be interested in what you're on and how it goes. There are some really neat new treatments for BPD or semi-BPD these days that could really help!

To be honest, I've never allowed my p-doc to put me on more than 2 meds at a time. They've tried that with many of my friends, and it seems to just muddle the waters rather than fix a problem.

I have a lot of sympathy for you though. I just get this irresistable urge to give you a hug - because I know what it's like to be there and I know how hopeless it seems sometimes. Right now, I'm being prodded towards some new drugs that are actually being used in smaller doses to treat BPD. Of course, I'm closer to a schizo-affective sort of thing, but the only difference seems to be in the obvious symptoms, not in the disorders as a whole. I guess the only thing I'm sure of is that therapy helps. It's never cured me of anything (not even anxiety) but talking to somebody who knows what to do if I get REALLY bad has always been a relief.

Catch me on MSN or AIM. I'd love to hear from you if you don't mind!

May God meet you in your dreams and grant you peace if for but a moment...
 
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preppychickgm

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does anyone know of some good educational bp websites?
I've been bipolar since i was sixteen... maybe even longer. (i'm 22 now.) but, i wasnt diagnosed until a year ago.
i was doing ok for awhile... but then my dr put me on prozac. needless to say, it thru me into a manic MESS!
I'm trying hard to gain control of my life again. its hard though. I've been trying to do as much research as possible, hoping that will help.
Any insights will be appreciated
 
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Epiphany

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WithHisBloodWentOurSin said:
I started this thread else where and got some private messages from people who couldnt post.

I was just diagnosed as bipolar after going to the hospital being labeled as "extremely suicidal" and well my life has sucked since Remeberance day (the day i was gunna slice my wrists open...ironic really) I wanted to start a thread for those other bipolars who are here so we can talk about our problems and everything.
To Life Immortal

Hallo. I have Bipolar II and DID. I was diagnosed with bipolar about 12 years ago, and I've recently been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder. If you have any questions about how to live with these things, let me know. I am new to the message board, but I will try to help.

Peace and Long Life
~*~ Epiphany ~*~
 
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Epiphany

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preppychickgm said:
does anyone know of some good educational bp websites?
I've been bipolar since i was sixteen... maybe even longer. (i'm 22 now.) but, i wasnt diagnosed until a year ago.
i was doing ok for awhile... but then my dr put me on prozac. needless to say, it thru me into a manic MESS!
I'm trying hard to gain control of my life again. its hard though. I've been trying to do as much research as possible, hoping that will help.
Any insights will be appreciated
To Life Immortal

Pendulum Resources is a good place on the web to learn about being bipolar.
I can't post URL's yet; I am new. You can find the URL by typing Pendulum Resources in your browser

Bipolar World is another good site.

I hope this helps. I know being bipolar is scary. I have it too. Learning about the illness will help you not be as afraid.

Peace and Long Life
~*~ Epiphany ~*~
 
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Cosmic Charlie

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"But I'm feeling much better now"

Deep depression, Manic highs:
Out of Control, Lititrol
Straight Jacket, Electro-shock
Lithium Drip, Ami-trip

Head voices, delirium,
Paranoia, Trilifon serum,
Tri-cyclics, depi-cloride
Self-loathing , suicide.

Forced stable , Med quirks,
trembling hands, blood work.
Dry mouth, hypotensive,
Its better then the alternative.

I just thank God every day that I live in a time and a place where people like us can get help for this cruel affiction.
 
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paw4me

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Hi everyone. Bipolar disorder has definitely affected my life. My dad was bipolar III and I was diagnosed bipolar about 3 years ago. I am still attempting to find a medication that works for me. I recently got put on depakote, so we'll see how that works.
Anyways, as much as being bipolar sucks, it also has it's advantages, you know? I mean, being bipolar is like Paul's thorn. It pushes us to rely on God just to get through the day at times, you know. I mean, I'm realizing more and more each day just how much I need God in my daily activities because everything gets so overwhelming for me.
I just wanted to post here 'cause it's always nice to meet other Christians who have the same struggle 'cause Christians who don't tend to be judgemental (from my experiences-not all, but most). It's always comforting to me to meet others because I know I'm not alone. I don't feel like such a freak knowing that I'm not the only one.
 
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Laurel Crowned

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Hello Everybody,

I'm new to this site. I'd never even heard about it until today. I've been on meds for Bipolar for the past 5 years. I'd been bipolar for 12 years before that. I've just come out of a depressed episode and my friend cared enough to go online and look for information on bipolar in order to have a better understanding of what I experience.

Most of the time I feel like Paw4me. I feel alone in my struggles. Most of my christian friends will pray for me and encourage me... but they have no clue about what my life is like. How can you be joyful in the Lord in the midst of a depressed episode?? Yet, like Paw4me... I find that it is when I am depressed that I fall on my face before God.

My therapist isn't a christian... so I really only ever check in with her when I need a refill on my meds. I'm currently trying to get into a local Christian Counseling Service. Finding out about this site... well, let's just say it's answered prayer.

Today... I'm praising God and taking it one day at a time.

Peace,
LC
 
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Sequel

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I don't think there is such a thing as bipolar or mpd. The pros that psychristrist and psychologist offer as to the causation is neither provable of confirmed. The horrors of pharmacology or practice of medicine needs to be reviewed and opinions made to change the current system.

I had a Stanford MD give medicine to my mom in a nursing home and she became astonied. There is a report that is out that of the 90% of the people taking medicine, only 30% is effective! What happens to the 70%?

Peace to you all,

Sequel
 
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Laurel Crowned

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Sequel,

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I will keep her in my prayers. As for bp being real... all I know is that for 12 years before being diagnosed my life was a living nightmare. When God lead me... and yes, I believe God lead me, to a clinic where I was diagnosed my life changed. While I have had some side effects from the meds... I praise God for the stability that they have brought into my life.

People can't prove without a doubt the divinity of Jesus... but that doesn't mean he doesn't exist. When I read your post... I felt like you were belitting what people with bp have been through. While this is a farely inactive thread... it was meant to be a haven for people with bp... please let it remain a safe place for people who believe that they have bp.

Having said that... please don't let my gentle rebuke turn you off of CF. Normally, I keep such opinions to myself... there are other forums where you might want to continue this thread.... debate forums.

Peace,
LC
 
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alaurie

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Hi Sequel,

I've been reading this message board for several days and have been so excited to find a board where I can come to find fellow Christians who suffer with bipolar, and I momentarily felt dismissed and invalidated by your post. Then I felt sympathetic because I've been in denial in the past and there is no hope there.

In this life- the fallen world- unfortunately, we do have inherited and/or situational caused psychological disorders, just as we have Christians with cancer, heart disease, diabetes. Bipolar happens to be one of the genetic disorders. Twin and adoption studies show this overwhelmingly and without exception. The problem has been narrowed to two areas of the brain that filter messaging to other brain cells. These regions in bipolar patients have 30% more activity than non bipolar people. Researchers aren't sure yet whether it's a neurotransmitter imbalance in these areas that cause the highs and lows or an abnormality in the brain cell neurotransmitter receptor sites. Unfortunately, the best treatment is lifelong medication and loving support from fellow Christians. Psychotherapy is helpful- especially with the grief associated with a new diagnosis, but can't right damaged genetics.

My resistance as a Christian to meds was that I felt God should just heal me, or that my faith should be strong enough to overcome the problem. I think bipolar Christians especially struggle with this in that so many problems associated with bipolar- anger, self-control - are also spiritual issues. My story is that Satan actually tried to use these arguments against me to have me resist treatment. He doesn't want us to glorify Christ - how can he best achieve that end with a bipolar Christians than to keep us out of control? As for faith, how many of us would tell a Christian with diabetes to just stop insulin and trust God? Dr. Douglas F. Kelly, seminary professor and author helped me to understand this desire of Satan's to keep me sick. He was kind enough to invite me to his home years ago to discuss this.

The healing issue has been harder for me to deal with. Obviously, I've asked for this over and over but it hasn't been God's will. It wasn't His will for the apostle Paul either, so I'm not feeling too bad about it :) The best book that has helped me accept this is Disappointment with God by Philip Yancy.

My prayer as I post this is that this message will lead to acceptance and treatment for those who read it. A beautiful, intelligent first cousin of mine who loved the Lord refused to accept her diagnosis 15 years ago and she's dead now- had a auto accident that would've never happened if her bipolar had been controlled. Her oldest child was 16 and her baby was 2 when she died. As hard as acceptance is, it's not as hard as this.

Love,
Allye
 
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Epiphany

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To Life Immortal

I have bipolar and DID. I was diagnosed with bipolar over 12 years ago. Last month, I told the therapist about the DID. I will go to the psychiatrist this week and talk with him about the others. I am applying for SSI for the bipolar and DID. I get help from an inner city clinic and don't see the doctor as much as I would like to see him. Every 3 months isn't any help at all. If and when I get SSI, I can use the money to get real help.

I haven't been going to the therapist because I have not been well and I think I'm trying to sabotage myself. One of my alters, Lennie, told my therapist this. I don't think they really believe me.

People have said that I should go to a Christian therapist, but they aren't cheap. I have limited resources and money. I want to use this time to get closer to God.

I will hope and pray that everything works out ok.

Peace and Long Life
~*~ Epiphany ~*~
 
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Sequel

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LC, Allye,

Perhaps my words were not chosen to be thoughtful enough! I did not mean to belittle anyone, not would I.

I saw this show on TV wherebys, a person had a real bad case of MPD and he had 27 demonic spirits in him. He tried everything to get rid of these demons and he studied and got a PHD in psychology. Even so, there was no help and he and his wife could not get rid of the demons! They resigned themselves to live with all these personalities inside and his wife even reads bedtime stories to the little demons!

As a witness to deliverances, I seen spirits being cast out of people and they left the person? If the issue is a spirit, can meds ever cast out or get rid of a spirit?

Peace,
 
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alaurie

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Epiphany,
Some Christian therapists tithe their time and some church counseling fees are income adjusted. If you're thinking is really disordered, short-term hospitalization at a state run clinic could help you get to the point that you're better able to make clear decisions about your care.

I'm praying for you as I post this,
Allye
 
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Laurel Crowned

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Hi Sequel,

No... meds would not be able to get rid of spirits. I actually had somebody try to cast the "spirits" out of me. This failed because there weren't any spirits to cast out. I had a mental illness. Praise God that I was diagnosed and got help. I think it takes wisdom on the part of people who try to help those who struggle with mental issues... they need to be able to discern when the cause is spiritual oppression... or when it really is a mental illness. A lot of damage can be done by well meaning people in both courts. Those who believe that there aren't mental illness but rather demonic oppression and those who don't believe in spiritual oppression and only understand psychological theories and causes.

Personally, I think most mental illness is a combination of both psycholocial and spirtual causes. Of course, Satan is going to use anything to keep believers and non-believers down.

I would never want to discount God's ability to heal people of mental illness no matter what the cause. Did you feel that your mom was spiritually oppressed? What were the circumstances of her illness? If I'm being to personal... my apologies.

LC
 
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Laurel Crowned

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Epiphany,

I will keep you in prayers. Please keep posting here... so you can get prayer and support. I was on the mission field before I got diagnosed. When I returned to the states in an emotional pit... God, in his infinite wisdom, led me to live with a college friend who, just happened to live right down the street from a mental health clinic. While it was not christian based, my doctor respected my faith and didn't try to dismiss it. I received the care for only $4/month and this included my meds.

My prayer for you dear sister is that God would lead you to the right place to get the help that you need. I pray that finances would not stand in the way. I pray for wisdom for people in your life, that they would be discerning and helpful.

Peace,
LC
 
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alaurie

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Sequel,

Please do not continue posting theological/intellectual questions in an edification thread. You are communicating with people who are in great pain and are looking for succor and mutual encouragement. Your questions are valid- just not for this thread.

There is a Social Sciences and Psychology forum under the Society main heading that may have threads in this vein.

Thanks,
Allye
 
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