Big problem....

[tnguitarist]

I have a big problem. I have been going to church since I was born and I've learned all the rules and ways of God. I've been saved since about the age of 16. Now I'm almost 20 but since I was in 6th grade...I've struggled with homosexual thoughts. I have never been attracted to women at all. I know it is wrong, in God's eyes, but no matter what I do, I just can't seem to be attracted to women physically. Sad thing is, I always dreamed of raising a family and all, but thats really hard for me at the moment. Does anyone know anyway I can beat this? I've prayed and prayed, but I just can't seem to beat it. Please help.

 

[ewindsor]

Were you molested as a child, or raped in any way that you can recollect?

When dealing with issues like these, we must deal with the root of the issue, not the issue itself. It is like a plant - if it is not uprooted, and we keep chopping off bits of the tops, it will keep growing back again. So let's deal with the root.

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you any things that would have caused you to have homosexual feelings. Post them or PM me when you get a response from God. This could take seconds, hours, or days, but God will show you why.

And also know that homosexuality is not a normal thing, as it is in society. God did not make you homosexual. You are a great guy I'm sure, God made you wonderful, and through Christ you are holy and blameless. At the same time though, homosexual thoughts is not of God, so it is something to be dealt with. God bless and talk to you soon!

 

[julian the apostate]

do you struggle with homosexual thought or are you actually physically attracted to men?

there is a difference

 

[KTskater]

This is much like Alcohalism. Simply praying about it won't cure it, you have to search yourself and ask God to show you why you feel this way. What did you lack at a younger age that caused you to want this attention from other males. Maybe join a group at your church, they can keep you accountable and help you figure out why you feel this way. Finding out what you are lacking in your life can help temendously.

But also, God may not discide to change you. It's like when Paul talked about the "thorn" in his side. Maybe through this weakness God will be fully glorified. BUt that does not give you an excuse to give into it. But don't let that discourage you. Thousands of people have overcome homosexual tendencies, but just a like an alchohalic they will still stuggle with temptations. Because the devil will always attack where you are weakest.

 

[JPsquare]

I think, YOU can't beat it Mhh but I unterstand your problem. But don't you know that god is with you and not against you. He know about your fear and I think he has a solution for you before this problem araised. Homosexual thoughts are normal, but you recognize this as a problem. Isn't that the first step? So you can tell this in your prayers and be sure, very much people pray for you too. Me too. Calm down and trust in his doing.

 

[SwordOfGod]

I know exactly how you feel... I have never been attracted to women in my life and God knows that I've tried... As you and I know the Bible does condemn active homosexuality but a sin just as large is to marry a women for whom you have no love. So the only choice people like us have is to remain abstinate and pray that perhaps God will give us somebody that can break through the physical barrier. Remember that this life is a trial and that sometimes we must forsake that which we most want so that we can be with God. I'll pray for you.
That I should burn in Hell in this life so that I might have eternal love in the next is the trade I make.

 

[SwordOfGod]

I know exactly how you feel... I have never been attracted to a woman my entire life... As you and I both know the bible says that active homosexuality is evil, but something just as wrong is to marry someone that we could never love. All that people like you and I can do is pray that God will put someone in our lives that can break through the physical barrier,if this does not happen we must ask God to give us strength to keep our thoughts and actions pure. Always remember that this life is just a trial, and that sometimes we must forsake that which we most want so that we can be with God. I will pray for you.

That I should burn in hell in this life so that I may have eternal love in the next, is the trade I make.

 

[tnguitarist]

Well...as a child I really didn't have much of a relationship with my father....i think that could be part of it....I was a late child, and he was always at work, so he was a little to old to do things with me like other fathers. My parents aren't divorced but, we never get to do anything. We've tried, we are just two different people.

 

[KTskater]

Well...as a child I really didn't have much of a relationship with my father....i think that could be part of it....I was a late child, and he was always at work, so he was a little to old to do things with me like other fathers. My parents aren't divorced but, we never get to do anything. We've tried, we are just two different people.

That is exactly what happened to me, except with my mom. Having no one to show you how your gender is supposed to act and give you guidance when your confused, or even tell you "I'm glad God made you a boy/girl" can hurt your view of yourself and of that gender.

That may be it, or there may still be underlying causes. But I think that is a big thing that most people with homosexual temptationis have in common.

 

[JPsquare]

Well...as a child I really didn't have much of a relationship with my father....i think that could be part of it....

I think that is a part of it. But this couldn't be changed anyway. Do you have a friend or anyone else you can talk with?

 

[PJ86]

I totally understand what your going thru! I wont share the mess i was in here, but if you would like to know...just PM me. Anyways, Prayer really helped me, and even after all the thoughts are gone..there will be times when you have homosexual thoughts again, but you know that you can overcome it. I think that a lot of people go thru this problem and its all mindset, if you want to change, with God, you can! Exodus ministries has some great support groups, maybe you would want to check them out. Your in my prayers Bro.

In His love

 

[feline]

I have a big problem. I have been going to church since I was born and I've learned all the rules and ways of God. I've been saved since about the age of 16. Now I'm almost 20 but since I was in 6th grade...I've struggled with homosexual thoughts. I have never been attracted to women at all. I know it is wrong, in God's eyes, but no matter what I do, I just can't seem to be attracted to women physically. Sad thing is, I always dreamed of raising a family and all, but thats really hard for me at the moment. Does anyone know anyway I can beat this? I've prayed and prayed, but I just can't seem to beat it. Please help.

If you are gay, there is no effective way to change your orientation. Yes, yes, I know, Exodus, blah blah. Those organizations that attempt to reprogram homosexuals are selling fear and false hope. If you truly are not able to be a happy and functional gay adult, I suggest abstinence. If you can come to terms with those feelings, seek counseling (supportive counseling, not some unqualified hack who tells you to change or burn in hell). The good news is, you can be gay and raise a family. I know plenty of happy, spiritually and physically healthy children being raised by gay parents. Good luck to you.

 

[Ssarl]

Well...as a child I really didn't have much of a relationship with my father....i think that could be part of it....I was a late child, and he was always at work, so he was a little to old to do things with me like other fathers. My parents aren't divorced but, we never get to do anything. We've tried, we are just two different people.

I can totally relate to this... alls I can tell you is that God does make it possible to keep up self-control. Honestly, since I committed to him that I would be chaste (I did this something like three days after coming out; I'm not hesistant ), I have been able to stand against the temptation and it's not always a struggle because I am sure of what I believe and what I want.

For me, the struggle has not been trying to avoid sex with men - it's been all the times it's inspired me to beat myself up.

Firstly, it's not wrong to *lack* the feelings for a woman. Heck, truth be told, heterosexuality is widely perverted in our society. You are no less a man because you do not lust for the flesh of a woman.

(1 John 4:4) You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, for GREATER HE WHO IS IN YOU THAN HE WHO IS IN THE WORLD! You have the Holy Spirit... with Him you can beat this

Don't let your sexuality become an excuse to tell yourself that you're worthless, or lesser, or undeserving. You're a child of God, chosen, holy and dearly loved. You're my brother in Christ, warts 'n' all, and you're special.

(James 4:7) Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Tell *Him* about the way you feel, and see what He's got to say to you. I pray that you will find release in knowing His forgiveness and His plan for your life.

Your brother in Christ,
Andrew

 

[Cristiano]

Well...as a child I really didn't have much of a relationship with my father....i think that could be part of it....I was a late child, and he was always at work, so he was a little to old to do things with me like other fathers. My parents aren't divorced but, we never get to do anything. We've tried, we are just two different people.

First off, that "could" be a reason, and it could "not" be a reason. I can't believe the first post on here was "Were you molested, raped, or missing a parent?" That's bogus. That may lead to some homosexual tendencies, but to think that is the leading cause is just outrageous. I can't believe people still think that. Yes, it can be a contributing factor, but automatically going to that is trying to put a giant band aid over everything saying, "Well, something happened to me, poor me, I'm gay now." I did have both parents, AWESOME parents by the way, was never raped or molested. I had a same sex experience when I was 12 (and a very mature 12 I must say) that I CHOSE to be a part of. I'm not justifying it by any means. What I'm saying is, I know I was attracted to guys since I can remember, long before I had a sexual experience with another boy. So my curiosity led to my experimentation. Again, I am not justifying my actions, but rather justifying that I have had these feelings as long as I can remember and it's not a result of some "tragedy" in life.

We are all different, with different struggles. It's a tough struggle to have same sex attractions...Actions are one thing, attractions are another. There are three common ways that God can resolve your problem, according to his will. 1) Completely cure you of all homosexual feelings--he has that power 2) Slowly change your heart and send someone into your life, a female, whom you fall in love with and dont have to worry so much about it 3) Allow the thorn in your side, as he did with Paul, to show his power in weakness. No matter what your lot in life and no matter what the plan is, remember it is for God's glory. Not OUR will, but HIS be done. Remember, Romans 8:17 says that we know we are co-heirs with Christ if we share in his sufferings.
Paul considered it pure joy to endure suffering for Christ. Please PM me if you have any questions. It doesn't matter what "caused" your struggle, what is important is that it is present NOW and may never fully disappear. We have to rely on Christ to give us dominion over these areas of our lives. God bless.