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Best creationist theories ever!

calidog

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Electric Sceptic said:
I'd have to put my vote into the argument that water on Mars proves the flood - see, that's where god sent all the water after the flood (and why we can't find the required amount of water to flood the Earth on the Earth any more).
I believe that water is below ground.After the flooding it took about a year for the water level to equalize so dry land appeared.
 
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calidog

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You are correct but left out that He also created Adam with age. Also, there WERE dinosaurs, you'll find a discussion about them in Job. The "fossil record" has been disproved as being a chronological record. Go to ICR to see the arguments against it.
 
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calidog

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dlamberth said:
Is it any whacker than the theory of a Master Being sitting out there in nothingness and out of nothingness spontaneously making everything that exist?


.
For the unseen things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being realized by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, for them to be without excuse.
 
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Caphi

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calidog said:
I believe that water is below ground.After the flooding it took about a year for the water level to equalize so dry land appeared.

Ignoring the fact that there should be a smooth cueball Earth because of intense erosion, ignoring the fact that we should find evidence of rainfall in tree and ice rings, ignoring the fact that no cloud could maintain that much water intensity for that much time...

AND allowing that the water reached to the peak of Mt. Everest, some 28000 feet high, and allowing that the underground water reservoir starts at precisely sea level and is present and equally deep the entire world around, and allowing for mountains and trenches...

There should be a 30000 foot deep reservoir of water immediately below the crust.

Well?
 
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Guywiththehead

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calidog said:
lso, there WERE dinosaurs, you'll find a discussion about them in Job.

You'll find discussions about fire-breathing monsters in Job. Emphasis on fire-breathing.

Now reply with something about the beetle that sprays chemicals as a defense of the ridiculousness of dinosaurs that magically breathe fire.

The "fossil record" has been disproved as being a chronological record.

Hahaha, I'd like to see this disproving. I'd also like to hear how the fossil record is something that you'd expect from animals being killed and buried by a world-wide flood.
 
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Electric Sceptic

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calidog said:
I believe that water is below ground.After the flooding it took about a year for the water level to equalize so dry land appeared.
Then you believe wrongly. There is nowhere near enough subterranean water to flood the earth.

calidog said:
Also, there WERE dinosaurs, you'll find a discussion about them in Job.
Yes, there were, but they are not discussed in Job, or anywhere else in the bible. Which is hardly surprising, since they all died out millions of years before humans existed.

calidog said:
The "fossil record" has been disproved as being a chronological record. Go to ICR to see the arguments against it.
Complete rubbish. When it comes to science, I consult scientists, not religious websites.
 
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FSTDT

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Brilliant new creationist theory just submitted to my site:
Translation: Race mixing is bad because black people have no souls.
 
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mike_253

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Guywiththehead said:
There was someone on WinAce's site who said that God created the dinosaurs, killed them off, and slammed them into the opposite side of the Earth, causing it to orbit the Sun.

I wish I had the quote, it was hilarious.
God did create dinos...
the atmosphere was different, and the air pressure was higher.
sinse they had small nosedrills, they could still survive.
after the flood, the atmosphere changed, so the dinosours couldnt breathe they died.about the slamming part...
they died, and the earth was rotating before, dinos getting slammed had nothing to do with it...
 
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Guywiththehead

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Aren't Creationists nice? They'll give us more ridiculous theories for us to laugh at.
 
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mike_253

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Dexx said:
The Universe is 6000 years old.
amen...

Dexx said:
There were never any dinosaurs.
then... I guess you can rip out a couple of pages from Job, and say that it's not true...

 
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random_guy

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Guywiththehead said:
All I see in those verses are animals that many people think may be an elephant or hippopotamus and a fire-breathing monster.

I'd like to know why the fire-breathing monster couldn't be a mythical animal.

Because we all know dragons are real. From AIG's website, the Chinese zodiac has 12 creatures, 11 of which exists today. The last one, the Dragon, must also exist, then. I guess there must be an 11/12 chance it exists and 1/12 chance it doesn't.
 
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Athene

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This isn't really a theory but it made me laugh.

The sky used to be purple because the earth was surrounded by an ice sheet which was in the atmosphere, the atmosphere used to slow down light so when the stars or the sun shone it wouldn't be the light waves would have become sound waves.

I kid ye not, I was told the above in absolute seriousness.
 
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Hydra009

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random_guy said:
Because we all know dragons are real. From AIG's website, the Chinese zodiac has 12 creatures, 11 of which exists today. The last one, the Dragon, must also exist, then. I guess there must be an 11/12 chance it exists and 1/12 chance it doesn't.
*edit*

Oh snap, Poe's Law strikes again and I got punked. There really should be a "not a creationist" icon, because it's getting increasing more difficult to tell the parody from the real thing.
 
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