As a single, I find it difficult to listen to most "marrieds" who make a point to speak about the single life. It is not because you've never been there or because I don't think that people are not able to understand other life experiences through observation. It is mainly because most married people I know see being single as a mere mile marker on the way to being married. When I hear a married person address singlehood, usually it is about dating or waiting for Mr. Right or perfecting yourself for your future mate. They almost always address singles as future married people rather than the complete individuals in Christ that they are, mate or no mate. I don't mean to knock marriage, but being single is about much, much more than waiting to no longer be single. And for many single people out there, marriage isn't even a future goal or idea. Most of my married friends don't understand that mindset because they've never been there, even when they were single.
As a single woman in my 30's with many single friends, I can say that one thing we often forget to focus on is the fact that we are blessed with the time and freedom to completely and unabashedly pursue God. The Apostle Paul urged people that it was better to remain single for just that reason. We can read, we can study, we can join with other groups of Christians to worship, and we can do all of that without worrying that we are neglecting a spouse or children. We have an awesome ability to follow God without strings attached, and yet so many times we are distracted by society's expectation that we should focus instead on finding a marriage partner. (If marriage truly is a desire, certainly it is good to date and get to know potential mates. But keep God as the ultimate focus.)
As far as struggles, I suppose that loneliness would be one of the highest on the list. Not every single person struggles with this, but many do, as they must make all of their life decisions on their own and do not have a best friend with whom to spend the day to day moments of life. To this I say that one can most certainly surround themselves with friends and family. Loneliness is a state of mind and something easily remedied if a person chooses to first be content with themselves as a child of God and then reaches out to surround themselves with loved ones. It is also important to realize that being married is not an instant fix. There are many lonely people within marriage relationships as well. As I once heard a pastor say, "I would rather be single wishing I was married than married wishing I was single." We all must realize that only God can truly fill all of our needs if we are to overcome these struggles, and we must also be ready and able to be content in whatsoever situation we find ourselves in. God can provide that contentment if only we will let Him work through us to do so.
If you have not yet spoken to the group at your church, I pray you will be able to find the right words. If you already have, I hope it went well.
