Being Single When Things Go Wrong

[Lotuspetal_uk]

This is about the only area of being single that I struggle to cope with.

This past year had seen me have to get a taxi to take my kids to my mum's and then to ER because I was too ill to drive. I sat in agony for close to 2 hrs on my own, had morphine then discharged to get a taxi back home...

Went for a hospital appt on Tues and was told that they have discovered a cyst which is squeezing the nerve within my L1 spine which may have been responsible for the scale of pain causing me to go to ER earlier this year and which has come and gone since then to lesser and larger degrees.

Unrelated to the above, I am currently off work now - realising that there is a very high probability that I have screwed up big time and lost a job I had only just started 4 weeks ago but coming to terms with the fact that I haven't quite gotten over the death of my dad earlier this year. Yet here I am sat in the silence of my home with no one to talk to, having a multitude of 'what ifs' running through my head in relation to future work.

I feel as though a battle with depression I had overcome a few years back is creeping back with each day that I am off work.

More than anything guys, could you keep me lifted in prayer, please?

I am struggling to hear from the Lord right now what with all the issues I'm dealing with offline.

Thanks

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

Will you have surgery?

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

They don't know just yet - a higher up doc will need to assess but I've been assured that surgery may be unlikely

 

[brinny]

Praying my friend (((hug)))

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Praying my friend (((hug)))

Thank you dear dear friend

 

[brinny]

Thank you dear dear friend

Always. Continuing to pray, my dear friend. May all the blessings and all the ways that you have blessed sooo many, return to you thousand fold, dear friend. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen. (((hug)))

 

[dayhiker]

LotusPetal --- HUGZ and a prayer.
If you can't get to work right now, find a place to walk each day, so something each day to you have a schedule. That activity can be anything from a large list, but I think its important to do something.

 

[quietpraiyze]

This is about the only area of being single that I struggle to cope with.

This past year had seen me have to get a taxi to take my kids to my mum's and then to ER because I was too ill to drive. I sat in agony for close to 2 hrs on my own, had morphine then discharged to get a taxi back home...

Went for a hospital appt on Tues and was told that they have discovered a cyst which is squeezing the nerve within my L1 spine which may have been responsible for the scale of pain causing me to go to ER earlier this year and which has come and gone since then to lesser and larger degrees.

Unrelated to the above, I am currently off work now - realising that there is a very high probability that I have screwed up big time and lost a job I had only just started 4 weeks ago but coming to terms with the fact that I haven't quite gotten over the death of my dad earlier this year. Yet here I am sat in the silence of my home with no one to talk to, having a multitude of 'what ifs' running through my head in relation to future work.

I feel as though a battle with depression I had overcome a few years back is creeping back with each day that I am off work.

More than anything guys, could you keep me lifted in prayer, please?

I am struggling to hear from the Lord right now what with all the issues I'm dealing with offline.

Thanks

I'm so sorry you're going through this and I will be praying for you. This is what came to mind...

I'm pretty sure it's been over 20 years now that I realized the only time I ever really started thinking about wanting to be married was when someone hurt me or when I was horny. Once I owned up to that I had a great laugh. I also stopped having the expectation that another human being (Christians & family) would save me which made all the difference in the world. It's nice when you have others there for you but sometimes we don't. I got more honest about what I wanted and needed from the people I did have in my life. I made changes where I needed to. Some people didn't like that but it's okay. I'm not in fantasy which is by far more hurtful when reality hits. I also got more honest with God about me. I had a blatant “belief” that God would take care of others but not me. If you had asked me, I would have probably denied it but it was something I felt deep down on the inside. I had made so many mistakes how could he love me? But God's not like man and He can handle any and everything about us. He loves us with an everlasting love and He doesn't abandon us in our times of need. Things aren't perfect but I am emotionally and spiritually in a better place. So you be encouraged sister, The Lord is right there with you and He will give you the wisdom to do what you need to do and the way you need to do it. May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding fill you at this time.

ETA-I lost my health a month after my 21st birthday and I'm 55 now

 

[JAM2b]

That is a very difficult situation to be in. I also find it is hard to be single when there are health problems, and when tough life circumstances come up. It feels like you are all alone, even thought there are tons of people in their world and some of them care about you. Facing things is very different when you don't have a significant someone walking through it with you.

I always hate it when I don't have a job or can't work the one I have. A very real depression does sink in, and my self-esteem takes a big hit. We are meant to busy doing something. I agree with Dayhiker about getting out of the house. If you can't because of pain or mobility problems, try to find something you can do in your home and maybe invite someone to join you if you can.

 

[blackribbon]

((hugs)) that is a heavy load you are carrying ... take each day, step-by-step ...

I guess we can be pain buddies until we find a way to resolve this. Pain sucks.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Always. Continuing to pray, my dear friend. May all the blessings and all the ways that you have blessed sooo many, return to you thousand fold, dear friend. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen. (((hug)))

Bless you Brinny

Part of your signature really blessed me with getting up this morning, to do with the " For the Weary". Very timely to see that!

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

LotusPetal --- HUGZ and a prayer.
If you can't get to work right now, find a place to walk each day, so something each day to you have a schedule. That activity can be anything from a large list, but I think its important to do something.

Thank you Dayhiker - what you've said has been very wise. I've tried not to stay in the house because it is just so quiet and leaves me to go round and round with the 'what ifs' which just wasn't healthy for me.

I've been blessed with a sunny day this morning and am planning on spending some time in the garden planting some bulbs for next Spring. In the past this use to really help me when I last had depressive thoughts.

Thanks again for the reminder, brother.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

I'm so sorry you're going through this and I will be praying for you. This is what came to mind...

I'm pretty sure it's been over 20 years now that I realized the only time I ever really started thinking about wanting to be married was when someone hurt me or when I was horny. Once I owned up to that I had a great laugh. I also stopped having the expectation that another human being (Christians & family) would save me which made all the difference in the world. It's nice when you have others there for you but sometimes we don't. I got more honest about what I wanted and needed from the people I did have in my life. I made changes where I needed to. Some people didn't like that but it's okay. I'm not in fantasy which is by far more hurtful when reality hits. I also got more honest with God about me. I had a blatant “belief” that God would take care of others but not me. If you had asked me, I would have probably denied it but it was something I felt deep down on the inside. I had made so many mistakes how could he love me? But God's not like man and He can handle any and everything about us. He loves us with an everlasting love and He doesn't abandon us in our times of need. Things aren't perfect but I am emotionally and spiritually in a better place. So you be encouraged sister, The Lord is right there with you and He will give you the wisdom to do what you need to do and the way you need to do it. May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding fill you at this time.

ETA-I lost my health a month after my 21st birthday and I'm 55 now

Amen sis. I was particularly troubled yesterday and felt so so alone and I think you hit the nail right on the head about lamenting whether I would better cope with life's issues had I had someone with me. The reality of this is that I probably would not.

But as I was drifting off to sleep last night a thought came to me that whether I lose my job due to grieving right now or whether I struggle on juggling being a full time mum plus having a career, the biggest truth that I have in both situations is that I will not be facing this alone because the Lord is with me and stated in His Word that He will never leave nor forsake me.

Thank you also for your post, as I needed to see that this morning

God bless you, sis

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

That is a very difficult situation to be in. I also find it is hard to be single when there are health problems, and when tough life circumstances come up. It feels like you are all alone, even thought there are tons of people in their world and some of them care about you. Facing things is very different when you don't have a significant someone walking through it with you.

I always hate it when I don't have a job or can't work the one I have. A very real depression does sink in, and my self-esteem takes a big hit. We are meant to busy doing something. I agree with Dayhiker about getting out of the house. If you can't because of pain or mobility problems, try to find something you can do in your home and maybe invite someone to join you if you can.

Amen JAM2b, like you I was really beating myself up these past few days when I felt that I was a failure/ a wimp comparing myself with my other siblings who dealt with Dad's death so much better than me; who were able to still carry on with work and have not had to miss days off or face losing their job because of it. The fact that it is so so clear that I seriously cannot continue in a career which demands a 55+ hour week and yet cannot seem to find anything which is family friendly but matches my outgoings (the sad thing is that after next year I will be able to cut my hours as my mortgage will reduce). It did result in depressive thoughts creeping back, and then getting up this morning with a migraine.

Praise the Lord, my head is a little clearer this morning as we approach the weekend, but I realise that I need to not stay in today and try to spend some time outside in the sun.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

((hugs)) that is a heavy load you are carrying ... take each day, step-by-step ...

I guess we can be pain buddies until we find a way to resolve this. Pain sucks.

Amen sis, I've traditionally been a 'little miss fix-it' and always thought there had to be a fast/quick solution to a problem as it arises but as you've said with this one I need to take each day one step at a time. I've come to terms with the fact that this one isn't going to be a quick fix.

Pain sure does suck and 2 Cor 1:3-7 comes to mind for me in terms of keeping you surrounded in prayer as well (( ))

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Just had a phone call from my boss....who basically wanted me to resign so that he can hire someone else.

I've just given him what he wanted and am now jobless.

 

[brinny]

Bless you Brinny

Part of your signature really blessed me with getting up this morning, to do with the " For the Weary". Very timely to see that!

That blesses me to hear that dear friend. Continuing to pray (((hug)))

 

[JAM2b]

Lotus, I am sooo sorry!

I'm praying that God will open the perfect door for you to be able to provide and to heal.

 

[brinny]

Praying, dear heart, that God intervenes, provides abundantly, eases all worries and angst, ministers to you, and heals you every place you hurt. Father may it be so, in Jesus name, amen (((hug)))

 

[Servant68]

Just had a phone call from my boss....who basically wanted me to resign so that he can hire someone else.

I've just given him what he wanted and am now jobless.

So sorry to hear that. I know it is of little consolation, but what I've discovered when looking back is that events like this are often a blessing in disguise. Trusting in God is paramount during these times and His blessings are often how we least expect them.