Being sarcastic and teasing

[ardeur]

I have been convicted for so long now about either limiting or completely eliminating sarcasm and teasing in my conversations. For the most part I am very happy and sweet by nature and I don't use sarcasm and teasing very often.

Most, if not all, of my friends communicate this way with each other. Sometimes it is ok with me and everyone else, but a LOT of times sarcasm turns into hurt feelings and unkind words. I've started to joke with my boyfriend this way. He is very gentle and sensitive by nature (I love this so much about him). I've noticed that some of my jokes and teasing has begun to hurt him and he's begun to say things about it. It's begun to eat me up inside (I hate making him feel bad or uncomfortable), but I do not know how to completely stop this type of humor. He loves it when I use sweet, kind words with him and use other types of silly humor.

Does anyone else relate with me on this? Is anyone else convicted about their use of sarcasm? Does anyone have any ideas of how to quit being so sarcastic?

 

[AnaSnow]

Sarcasm isn't necessarily a negative quality. It is important, however, to know when to use it and with whom. If your boyfriend is complaining about your sarcasm, then ask him to pray with you about it. Prayer is a really good place to start. Second, if this is something that is bothering you, then let your friends know. Honesty really is the best policy. If they are your true friends they will understand and make efforts to make you feel more comfortable. Emphasize your other abilities to be humorous. Sarcasm doesn't have to be a negative thing. Just make sure you are not hurting others.

 

[beautifully_chaotic]

i know what you mean, i have a dry sense of humor and that can sometimes mean be sarcastic! and the hardest thing about it is because it only happens every now and then , ppl can't tell if im being sarcastic or not!

 

[plum]

I have been convicted for so long now about either limiting or completely eliminating sarcasm and teasing in my conversations. For the most part I am very happy and sweet by nature and I don't use sarcasm and teasing very often.

Most, if not all, of my friends communicate this way with each other. Sometimes it is ok with me and everyone else, but a LOT of times sarcasm turns into hurt feelings and unkind words. I've started to joke with my boyfriend this way. He is very gentle and sensitive by nature (I love this so much about him). I've noticed that some of my jokes and teasing has begun to hurt him and he's begun to say things about it. It's begun to eat me up inside (I hate making him feel bad or uncomfortable), but I do not know how to completely stop this type of humor. He loves it when I use sweet, kind words with him and use other types of silly humor.

Does anyone else relate with me on this? Is anyone else convicted about their use of sarcasm? Does anyone have any ideas of how to quit being so sarcastic?

i totally relate.
i heard from one counselor that sarcasm is simply veiled anger. that made me think about how i talked to others. i'm kind of a teasing person... like if i have something not-so-positive to say about them or what they do i make it into a sly, sarcastic teasing joke or chuchkled comment... but the way i do it is wrong. it's underhanded and veiled. if i have something to say to someone i should be able to say it straight out without any added show or by hiding it behind sarcastic tones. i think that can hurt more than we expect it to.

so i'm trying to simply be more honest and open with people. and that handy saying still works:
"if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"

which should be taken seriously on this forum, no?