Being an introvert

[Musician4Jesus]

I am well aware that in American society (United States) extrovert is 'preferred'. Children are encouraged from an early age to be bubbly and outgoing; if you're quiet and keep to yourself it's just seen as 'weird'/'awkward' and that something is wrong (you're sad, lonely, and/or depressed).

Having an introvert personality is seen as something bad, and you're forced to be something you're not if you're introvert. This frustrates me to no end, because introverts don't force extroverts to be introvert, so extroverts shouldn't force introverts to be outgoing.

I realize at times it's necessary to be extrovert, but there is so much silent stigma for being introvert; that there's something wrong with you.

I see this attitude even in the church. The church slogan is 'we accept you as you are' but the people that are prized the most are those who are bubbly and gregarious, and always being encouraging and always spouting a font of blessings.

However there is more to being encouraging than just giving somebody a 'pep talk' for lack of a better term.

 

[timothyu]

I am well aware that in American society (United States) extrovert is 'preferred'. Children are encouraged from an early age to be bubbly and outgoing; if you're quiet and keep to yourself it's just seen as 'weird'/'awkward' and that something is wrong (you're sad, lonely, and/or depressed).

Goes a little deeper. Introverted people are often 'thinkers' and thinkers are frowned upon in many societies unless their thoughts follow those of the system, which they will often not do. Shallow extroverted people are more easily manipulated, and thus the preferred brood. Thinkers in Jesus' day were more likely to be discontented with the world of man so the Kingdom was a welcome concept. Don't ever fret being introverted.

 

[mark kennedy]

I am well aware that in American society (United States) extrovert is 'preferred'. Children are encouraged from an early age to be bubbly and outgoing; if you're quiet and keep to yourself it's just seen as 'weird'/'awkward' and that something is wrong (you're sad, lonely, and/or depressed).

Having an introvert personality is seen as something bad, and you're forced to be something you're not if you're introvert. This frustrates me to no end, because introverts don't force extroverts to be introvert, so extroverts shouldn't force introverts to be outgoing.

I realize at times it's necessary to be extrovert, but there is so much silent stigma for being introvert; that there's something wrong with you.

I see this attitude even in the church. The church slogan is 'we accept you as you are' but the people that are prized the most are those who are bubbly and gregarious, and always being encouraging and always spouting a font of blessings.

However there is more to being encouraging than just giving somebody a 'pep talk' for lack of a better term.

Don't let it bother you, historically people like Paul went off to live in the Arabian dessert when dealing with some things. There is a time to withdraw and some people are just not socially outgoing, that doesn't mean they don't have social skills. Introverts don't get as much attention, basically because the don't need it or want it. It comes with some benefits though, at least you can take some time to think privately, there are some profoundly positive things that can emerge, a vibrant prayer life comes to mind. There is a reason Jesus would wander off into isolated places and why he said your prayers should be in a closet, that you lock behind you

Grace and peace,
Mark

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

It i

I am well aware that in American society (United States) extrovert is 'preferred'. Children are encouraged from an early age to be bubbly and outgoing; if you're quiet and keep to yourself it's just seen as 'weird'/'awkward' and that something is wrong (you're sad, lonely, and/or depressed).

Having an introvert personality is seen as something bad, and you're forced to be something you're not if you're introvert. This frustrates me to no end, because introverts don't force extroverts to be introvert, so extroverts shouldn't force introverts to be outgoing.

I realize at times it's necessary to be extrovert, but there is so much silent stigma for being introvert; that there's something wrong with you.

I see this attitude even in the church. The church slogan is 'we accept you as you are' but the people that are prized the most are those who are bubbly and gregarious, and always being encouraging and always spouting a font of blessings.

However there is more to being encouraging than just giving somebody a 'pep talk' for lack of a better term.

It is interesting that when we read through the gospels we see that Jesus was not always bubbly, gregarious, encouraging and spouting a fount of blessings. Jesus was human like all the rest of us, and He had his moods. It must have been really grievous for Him at times to be the spotless Son of God surrounded by cursing, blaspheming, sinning people. It is not that He didn't love them, but it must have taken a real act of the will sometimes. Yet He was moved with compassion for sick people and those wandering without a shepherd to guide them. He wept at the grave of Lazarus. He wanted to be alone when He heard of the death of John the Baptist. He often went off by Himself to be alone, and often it had to be at night because He was surrounded during the day by the crowds and their needs which He could not ignore. It says that Jesus was "a man of sorrows". This does not sound like an always bubbly personality to me.

 

[kufe]

I am well aware that in American society (United States) extrovert is 'preferred'. Children are encouraged from an early age to be bubbly and outgoing; if you're quiet and keep to yourself it's just seen as 'weird'/'awkward' and that something is wrong (you're sad, lonely, and/or depressed).

Having an introvert personality is seen as something bad, and you're forced to be something you're not if you're introvert. This frustrates me to no end, because introverts don't force extroverts to be introvert, so extroverts shouldn't force introverts to be outgoing.

I realize at times it's necessary to be extrovert, but there is so much silent stigma for being introvert; that there's something wrong with you.

I see this attitude even in the church. The church slogan is 'we accept you as you are' but the people that are prized the most are those who are bubbly and gregarious, and always being encouraging and always spouting a font of blessings.

However there is more to being encouraging than just giving somebody a 'pep talk' for lack of a better term.

Agreed, I classify as being ambivert, and although im a little bit more extroverted than introverted I tend to be somewhat of a quiet person in public (depending on the situation) but generally in public im pretty kept to myself and I have been looking for a church lately and I found this one church I could go to and when I attended although the service wasn't bad after I finished the service although I shouldn't really EXPECT people to come up to me I felt in a church setting, people should be a little bit more welcoming and because it was my first time really coming to a church on my own I was a bit shy and quiet and instead of people atleast greeting me especially those of my age group I felt somewhat left out, and it sucked lool. I mean the staff said hi briefly and a couple of the seniors at church greeted me but I dont know I felt in a church setting well actually I EXPECTED in a church setting that the people would be more welcoming to new comers but I felt somewhat left out. I feel if I was a bit more outgoing maybe I would have been a bit more excepted but because I was somewhat kept to myself and slightly guarded not a lot of people really took the effort to get to know me :/

 

[maintenance man]

However there is more to being encouraging than just giving somebody a 'pep talk' for lack of a better term.

You are absolutely right. There are some who have figured out what to say but have not yet caught on to the what to do part.

Extroverts will never figure us introverts out. Wanting to be alone simply doesn't compute for them.

Still, I have to say, I would be lost without my extrovert friends. In fact, I depend on them in social situations.

Praise God for knowing we need both.

 

[timothyu]

Wanting to be alone simply doesn't compute for them.

Because they seek attention... and that is where we come in.. Good friends who never interrupt.

 

[JCFantasy23]

I'm an introvert and need a lot of alone time, but when around people I'm great with them, bubbly and very talkative. Due to this, people may not be able to tell I'm an introvert until they get to know me better. I don't think many people pay attention unless it hits an extreme.

I think it's healthier - psychologically and spiritually - to be around others some, even if you are an introvert and have to force yourself to do so.

 

[YanKee Gal]

Thank you for your post. The body of Christ needs introverts, so thank you for being one. Jesus often says come away my beloved to a quiet place, spend time with me in prayer. Be still and know that I am God. FEW are still, few dwell upon the fact you are in the presence of a Holy Creator. We are called and were created to have fellowship with him. Origin sin broke that communion. Jesus restored it with his sacrifice on the cross. That is something we can never repay yet because of it we can enter into his presence and come before the Father's Throne of Grace and Mercy.
Many times Jesus himself went off to a lonely place, alone, and spent much time in prayer with the Father. Introverts have a deep sense of being. They need the quiet to commune their spirit with the Father. It is most introverts are great prayer warriors in the church, great intercessors. Do not feel you do not measure up or that there is something wrong with you.
Read Mary and Martha. One was busy and the other took time to be at the Master's feet. So being an introvert is a good thing. Most people are so busy they run on autopilot, they react, they don't think about their actions. They run on emotions and feelings which sabatoge a christian many times. We are called to take all thoughts captive and lay them at the feet of Christ. We have a battelfield of the mind going on. When we can control our thoughts and our mouths, we have learned to control our spirits. It takes being alone and quiet to do these things. ~ Blessings

 

[Hishandmaiden]

I am more of an introvert.
I keep to myself most of the time, and hardly talk to people very well.
But God changes me, now i am a bit less introvert than the past.

 

[aiki]

I am well aware that in American society (United States) extrovert is 'preferred'. Children are encouraged from an early age to be bubbly and outgoing; if you're quiet and keep to yourself it's just seen as 'weird'/'awkward' and that something is wrong (you're sad, lonely, and/or depressed).

Having an introvert personality is seen as something bad, and you're forced to be something you're not if you're introvert. This frustrates me to no end, because introverts don't force extroverts to be introvert, so extroverts shouldn't force introverts to be outgoing.

I realize at times it's necessary to be extrovert, but there is so much silent stigma for being introvert; that there's something wrong with you.

I see this attitude even in the church. The church slogan is 'we accept you as you are' but the people that are prized the most are those who are bubbly and gregarious, and always being encouraging and always spouting a font of blessings.

However there is more to being encouraging than just giving somebody a 'pep talk' for lack of a better term.

I used to be profoundly withdrawn as a young man (teens-early twenties). I hid away in books. I was "shy," "reserved," "introverted." I hardly spoke a word in public settings - especially ones that made me at all uncomfortable or were unfamiliar. I used to hold the more "bubbly" people (as you put it) in vague disdain. I was also very sarcastic. Anyway, God finally got a hold of me and showed me that my "introversion," my "shyness" was just a whole lot of pride. I was protecting my ego from bruising, my Self, from awkwardness and embarrassment. As such, I was entirely useless to God. I had to die to myself, to my introversion, if Christ was to live in and through me. (Matthew 16:24-25; John 12:24-25; Galatians 2:20)

God wants to use me as His hands and heart to others. God makes clear to me in His word that to claim to love Him means to claim to love other people; for the two things go hand-in-hand. (Matthew 22:36-39) As a young, "shy" man, though, I would have claimed to love God, though I had as little to do with the people He loved as possible. God showed me that my lack of love for others - shown in my unwillingness to move positively into their lives - belied my claim of a love for Him.

I am not "fueled up" by hanging out with people. I enjoy doing so, and love being used by God to bless the lives of others, but interacting with other people drains me. My younger brother, in contrast, thrives on such interaction. He is energized by it. Regardless, both of us God wants to use to show His love to the people around us. For me, that means leaving the comfort and peace of isolation and engaging with others - often at significant cost to myself. But, I do no more in this than Jesus did for me - actually far, far less. As a person who is not activated by being with others, I have to be sure I'm fueling up in time spent alone with God. When I do, moving beyond my natural introversion is not the ordeal it otherwise is.

 

[bekkilyn]

I used to be profoundly withdrawn as a young man (teens-early twenties). I hid away in books. I was "shy," "reserved," "introverted." I hardly spoke a word in public settings - especially ones that made me at all uncomfortable or were unfamiliar. I used to hold the more "bubbly" people (as you put it) in vague disdain. I was also very sarcastic. Anyway, God finally got a hold of me and showed me that my "introversion," my "shyness" was just a whole lot of pride. I was protecting my ego from bruising, my Self, from awkwardness and embarrassment. As such, I was entirely useless to God. I had to die if Christ was to live in and through me. (Matthew 16:24-25; John 12:24-25; Galatians 2:20)

God wants to use me as His hands and heart to others. God makes clear to me in His word that to claim to love Him means to claim to love other people; for the two things go hand-in-hand. (Matthew 22:36-39) As a young, "shy" man, though, I would have claimed to love God, though I had as little to do with people He loved as possible. God showed me that my lack of love for others - shown in a moving out into their lives from my own - belied my claim of a love for Him.

I am not "fueled up" by hanging out with people. I enjoy doing so, and love being used by God to bless the lives of others, but interacting with other people drains me. My younger brother, in contrast, thrives on such interaction. He is energized by it. Regardless, both of us God wants to use to show His love to the people around us. For me, that means leaving the comfort and peace of isolation and engaging with others - often at significant cost to myself. But, I do no more in this Jesus did for me - actually far, far less. As as person who is not activated by being with others, I have to be sure I'm fueling up in time spent alone with God. When I do, moving beyond my natural introversion is not the ordeal it otherwise is.

I don't believe that introversion is something that we need to "move beyond". Introversion is a gift from God just the same as extroversion is a gift from God. We need both introverts and extroverts for society to properly function. We would be in a huge amount of trouble if either one just up and vanished tomorrow.

Now shyness (and social anxiety)...that's a whole different issue. While many introverts may be shy, introversion and shyness are not the same at all. Many introverts are also not shy at all, but just like you spoke about in your last paragraph, simply need time alone to recharge after being around people, even if they highly enjoyed being around those people.

You might enjoy reading the book by Susan Cain called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking".

 

[Tarvorok]

I am as introverted as they come, and I need my alone time a lot more than most people, but just because I desire alone time, that doesn't mean that the desire for friends and fellowship isn't there.

I think that sometimes I am so introverted that it has kept me from finding friends, it's no more easy for me online to talk to someone versus in the real world.

But one of the best things about being introverted I think is the fact that I don't ruffle any feathers, I keep to myself and leave people alone, but that's just my thought.

 

[aiki]

I don't believe that introversion is something that we need to "move beyond". Introversion is a gift from God just the same as extroversion is a gift from God.

A gift from God? In what sense, exactly? I don't read in any of the biblical lists of spiritual gifts anything about introversion (or extroversion).

We need both introverts and extroverts for society to properly function. We would be in a huge amount of trouble if either one just up and vanished tomorrow.

Oh? How do you know this?

Now shyness (and social anxiety)...that's a whole different issue. While many introverts may be shy, introversion and shyness are not the same at all.

That may be true, but this doesn't mean everyone makes the distinction between them that you do. Most of the people I know use "shy" and "introverted" to mean essentially the same thing.

You might enjoy reading the book by Susan Cain called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking".

Thanks. I'll put it on my "To Read" list!

 

[bekkilyn]

A gift from God? In what sense, exactly? I don't read in any of the biblical lists of spiritual gifts anything about introversion (or extroversion).

Because God created us all unique and everything that makes up that uniqueness are of God. All of our talents, abilities, traits, etc. all from God.

Oh? How do you know this?

Because the body of Christ has many members, and if you chopped off all the introverts, the body would have a difficult time functioning with only one foot, three fingers, and a left ear.

That may be true, but this doesn't mean everyone makes the distinction between them that you do. Most of the people I know use "shy" and "introverted" to mean essentially the same thing.

Many people do have this misconception, but it is still an incorrect one. Shyness and introversion are not the same thing. There are a number of shy extroverts as well, and they have it even worse than the introverts because they *need* to be around people to keep their energy recharged and yet their shyness hinders them.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...roversion-vs-shyness-the-discussion-continues

Thanks. I'll put it on my "To Read" list!

You're welcome!

 

[tampasteve]

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[Phil.Stein]

I am well aware that in American society (United States) extrovert is 'preferred'. Children are encouraged from an early age to be bubbly and outgoing; if you're quiet and keep to yourself it's just seen as 'weird'/'awkward' and that something is wrong (you're sad, lonely, and/or depressed).

Having an introvert personality is seen as something bad, and you're forced to be something you're not if you're introvert. This frustrates me to no end, because introverts don't force extroverts to be introvert, so extroverts shouldn't force introverts to be outgoing.

As explained by Timothyu, it's not about fairness. There is a more sinister reason for the preference for extroverts. So fake it. Pretend to be an extrovert, so far as you need for the simpletons you need to impress to get work etc. Play them at their own game. As they're most likely extroverts, they most likely won't suspect a thing. If they're introverts, they may even see straight through your scheme, but sympathise with you anyway.

I see this attitude even in the church. The church slogan is 'we accept you as you are' but the people that are prized the most are those who are bubbly and gregarious, and always being encouraging and always spouting a font of blessings.

The Jews always were welcoming the wrong types, and rejecting the right (e.g. Jesus). I wouldn't judge your success based on attitudes from within the Church. Talk to their boss instead.

Goes a little deeper. Introverted people are often 'thinkers' and thinkers are frowned upon in many societies unless their thoughts follow those of the system, which they will often not do. Shallow extroverted people are more easily manipulated, and thus the preferred brood. Thinkers in Jesus' day were more likely to be discontented with the world of man so the Kingdom was a welcome concept. Don't ever fret being introverted.

Couldn't agree more. Introverts are frowned on, because the planners already have their blueprint for world domination, and don't want any thinkers getting in the way and foiling their schemes. Just talk on and enjoy the party they're throwing.

 

[timothyu]

Couldn't agree more. Introverts are frowned on, because the planners already have their blueprint for world domination, and don't want any thinkers getting in the way and foiling their schemes. Just talk on and enjoy the party they're throwing.

A lot of success today of these mega-churches we see on tv depends on what musician4jesus said.... 'but the people that are prized the most are those who are bubbly and gregarious, and always being encouraging and always spouting a font of blessings'. It is these anxious to stand out, jump on the next bandwagon, get excited over the next soap selling slogan, that are the most easily manipulated because they will sell their soul to whatever makes them stand out or feel good about themselves rather than show concern for others.

 

[ilovejcsog]

I think being an introvert makes it tough for people to read so you get all kinds of judgments Not being outspoken about things causes people to assume, unfortunately. Don't let others dictate what you are. Don't be concerned of what others think. Where would we be without either?
You are Gods creation!

 

[straightcurvylines]

I experienced a lot of bullying in church.
I ask God to give me strength to deal with insensitive remarks