Okay...this might not be a thread that is comfortable for the newly widowed...but I am truly curious.
Are there really widow/ers out there who were happily married and really have zero desire to marry again? (not a challenge but an honest question)
I understand not wanting to deal with finding someone, but if you could skip all the messy stuff and find someone who was compatable, that you'd still rather be alone?
Me, I was 43 when my husband died. We had been married for 16+ years and good friends for 24 years. I still love him as much today as I did the day he died. However, the women in my family tend to live well into their 90's unless they get cancer. So unless I am lucky enough to get cancer (I say that both jokingly and a bit truthfully), I still have more than 43 years left on this planet. I honestly feel a bit of despair at the idea of being alone for that many years. 3 has been hard enough.
(And for all of those who picture me sitting at home moping and wasting the life that God gave me...well, in that time I have moved my family across the country...gone to school, got straight A's, and have been accepted into nursing school starting this fall...I volunteer with a Cub Scout Pack even though my boy is in high school, I am both a Boy Scout and a Girl Scout leader although I don't do as much as I once did, I haul my kids around to scouts, church activities, figure skating, snowboarding, and misc volunteer activities...I have taught a couple history classes for kids...and I homeschool both of mine. And in there, I did fall in love with a widower that I met as we both stumbled along in this new life...which didn't work out but at least I know that my heart still functions.)
Most widows I know really do seem to want to have another "somebody" but there are many reasons why they don't pursue it (some are just insecurities and others very valid). I am thinking that my husband's grandmother might honestly be the only one I ever met that is satisfied to be alone...but I don't think she really ever wanted to be married until she met her husband and honestly, he left their life a financial mess that took her years to clean up.
I guess I could see being willing to "wait it out" if I believed that my turn to get to see Jesus was something that I could see ahead...
Anyway, are there really widows (or widowers) that have found a way to really be happy alone? And if so, how long does it take to get there? (It would be so much easier to find my way to happiness alone.)
Are there really widow/ers out there who were happily married and really have zero desire to marry again? (not a challenge but an honest question)
I understand not wanting to deal with finding someone, but if you could skip all the messy stuff and find someone who was compatable, that you'd still rather be alone?
Me, I was 43 when my husband died. We had been married for 16+ years and good friends for 24 years. I still love him as much today as I did the day he died. However, the women in my family tend to live well into their 90's unless they get cancer. So unless I am lucky enough to get cancer (I say that both jokingly and a bit truthfully), I still have more than 43 years left on this planet. I honestly feel a bit of despair at the idea of being alone for that many years. 3 has been hard enough.
(And for all of those who picture me sitting at home moping and wasting the life that God gave me...well, in that time I have moved my family across the country...gone to school, got straight A's, and have been accepted into nursing school starting this fall...I volunteer with a Cub Scout Pack even though my boy is in high school, I am both a Boy Scout and a Girl Scout leader although I don't do as much as I once did, I haul my kids around to scouts, church activities, figure skating, snowboarding, and misc volunteer activities...I have taught a couple history classes for kids...and I homeschool both of mine. And in there, I did fall in love with a widower that I met as we both stumbled along in this new life...which didn't work out but at least I know that my heart still functions.)
Most widows I know really do seem to want to have another "somebody" but there are many reasons why they don't pursue it (some are just insecurities and others very valid). I am thinking that my husband's grandmother might honestly be the only one I ever met that is satisfied to be alone...but I don't think she really ever wanted to be married until she met her husband and honestly, he left their life a financial mess that took her years to clean up.
I guess I could see being willing to "wait it out" if I believed that my turn to get to see Jesus was something that I could see ahead...
Anyway, are there really widows (or widowers) that have found a way to really be happy alone? And if so, how long does it take to get there? (It would be so much easier to find my way to happiness alone.)
