Been separated for two years..

[EagleHaze]

Ive been separated for about two years now. I don't want to get into too much detail about my relationship. My wife left me about two years ago. I will be the first to admit that I as a husband was not doing a good job at supporting her in many ways. We had a child before we got married and I was deeply in love with her so we decided to get married....We in front of God got married by our beloved pastors in a private ceremony. We did not get married through the court so it was never official but it didn't bother me. As the years passed I went through many jobs and I was financially not able to support her as much as well in emotional aspect. I acted very immature and lazy. She left me and part of me wants to believe that God allowed this to happen? Two years have passed and I started a new relationship with this other woman. It was nice but I felt guilty and with the guilt it ultimate lead me to fall out of love. I am still very much in love with my wife even if its not considered to be official. She is with another man but in my heart I feel like she is there with him because she has no where else to live or be with. We have been making contact recently with text messages and meeting up to see each other while we drop off our son to school.. Shes even told me that she still loves me and cares for me. We even shared a couple of kisses and hugs recently. She is still with someone else but I feel like shes trapped and is afraid. I am a different man from two years ago. I have a stable job and I live for my child. I have a very good relationship with him. I recently have gone through a breakthrough moment with God where he has opened my eyes. I believe God has a plan for the both of us and that he will make the impossible possible and bring back my wife home. I pray that God grant me patience for our God is never late. I pray for courage. I pray the restoration of my marriage. Praise to the almighty one....



If you guys have any advice I would appreciate it.

 

[Dave-W]

Where is your pastor(s) in all of this?
Did you sit down and go thru any pre-marital counseling?
Did you have any kind of paperwork documenting the "wedding?"

 

[EagleHaze]

We had a brief conversation but never any counseling...

My pastors never really followed up with us but I feel like it was our fault.

We got to a point where we stopped our relationship with God.


No we do not have any documents.


We had the paper signed but it was never sent to the courts.

 

[HondaMan]

You weren't supporting her emotionally, or you didn't know how to read your wife. I would suggest both of you to attend a Weekend to Remember event in your area by Family Life. No, it's not just for couples with problems. It's for those who want to learn more about how our spouses think and what God's plan for our marriage is.

 

[Malini Bhatia]

It's great that you have a strong faith and belief! Please find out where your pastors are and if they can help you out. Even if you are unable to do so, get in touch with the local church authorities and find out what must be done in such a situation. But before you do that, ask your wife what she wants. Does she really want to end the relationship with the other man or you are just assuming things? If she is sure that she wants to end it, then there is hope. But better to have a dialogue like adults and confirm things. Also discuss that if things work out for you both, what are the future expectation from one another? Work on yourself and be mindful of what you will do in the marriage later. You should even consider going to a marriage therapist. But most importantly, do continue praying and keeping the faith. Remember, God is watching and is always with you. Good luck!