Bedwetting HELP!!!

[Birbitt]

My two boys are ages 5(well on the 6th) and 3 and the older one has been potty trained for two years, and the little one for a year and a half (nearly two years) and they are both still wetting the bed. The Dr can find no medical reason as to why so we've ruled that out also we have tried cutting off the liquids at 6 pm and sending them to bed around 830 or 845 and then waking them up when we go to bed around 1030 or 1100 but nothing seems to keep them from wetting the bed.....any suggestions???
P.S. We don't want to do the diaper or pull up thing because it is like a crutch for our kids....they don't mind wearing them and if they are wearing them they would rather pee in them than get up and use the bathroom. Also it's expensive.

 

[JBJoe]

My two boys are ages 5(well on the 6th) and 3 and the older one has been potty trained for two years, and the little one for a year and a half (nearly two years) and they are both still wetting the bed. The Dr can find no medical reason as to why so we've ruled that out also we have tried cutting off the liquids at 6 pm and sending them to bed around 830 or 845 and then waking them up when we go to bed around 1030 or 1100 but nothing seems to keep them from wetting the bed.....any suggestions???
P.S. We don't want to do the diaper or pull up thing because it is like a crutch for our kids....they don't mind wearing them and if they are wearing them they would rather pee in them than get up and use the bathroom. Also it's expensive.

As a former bedwetter myself, my advice would be to continue doing what you're doing and wait for them to outgrow it.

Numerous studies, and my own painful childhood, attest that children who wet the bed generally do so because they are unable to leave deep sleep to get to the bathroom. Since your Dr. has determined that there is no medical condition with them, this is probably the case for your boys. Bedwetters typically feel a great deal of shame because they do NOT want to wet the bed and cannot themselves understand why they do not just get up and go pee. Accusations of laziness (speaking in general, I'm not implying you do this; just a common thread these kids have to bear) only make a humiliating experience worse for them.

You should probably start teaching the older one to strip his bed for you on a wet morning. At least this way he feels there is SOMETHING he can be empowered to do. There are also gadgets out there which wake children up with an audible alarm when they wet. The scientific validity of these systems is extremely dubious.

Giving rewards for dry nights and/or punishments for wet nights are ineffective because the problem is physiological and in their brain. This isn't necessarily much relief for you because you may have to let other parents know about this before sending them to sleepovers.

 

[Birbitt]

The problem with my boys is that I think they are aware of what they are doing because they will wake up after having wet the bed and strip down to nothing and then come and get into my bed naked because their bed is wet....Knowing this I really think that they know what they are doing and just don't feel like getting up to do it....though I could be wrong that's why I'm asking for advice that and because I"m tired of washing their sheets every morning, and if they don't get the wet clothes in the washer right away our family cat pees on the already wet clothes and then its very smelly...

 

[K9_Trainer]

How about a Potty Pager?

http://www.pottypager.com/PottyPager.html

You should explore that website a little.....It explains why bedwetting occurs.

 

[rocklife]

I had a bedwetting problem til I was 11, it seems I just grew out of it. I also had friends with the same problem, our parents had the doctors try different things, including beeper pads with beeper things that woke you up when wetting the bed (it woke up my parents more than me), and eventually got some medicine that worked pretty good but I only took it for a year or so, then the bedwetting seemed to go away for me and my friends at about 11/12 years old.

I feel for you, I hated being a bedwetter as a kid, it is also very embarassing at slumber parties/sleepovers for the kids. from my experience, some kids just grow out of it, unfortunately. we used plastic sheets constantly

 

[JBJoe]

There are also gadgets out there which wake children up with an audible alarm when they wet. The scientific validity of these systems is extremely dubious.

I guess I need to post a major retraction on this. I did some digging and apparently since back when I had issues there has been some study on the subject and what I posted above is entirely incorrect. For children older than 6 years, apparently audible alarms seem to cure somewhere between 67 and 75% of bedwetting cases compared to essentially no cure when not used (See here for the very dry scientific abstract).

So, yeah. At 5 years old it isn't clear that the alarm will work, but it probably won't hurt.

 

[charligirl]

The problem with my boys is that I think they are aware of what they are doing because they will wake up after having wet the bed and strip down to nothing and then come and get into my bed naked because their bed is wet....Knowing this I really think that they know what they are doing and just don't feel like getting up to do it....though I could be wrong ...

I think you are wrong. I wet the bed until I was 8 or 9 and I wuld get up, strip off and wake my parents... it was the cold wet bed that finally woke me I had no control over the wetting.

I went for numerous tests to hospital, my parents interrogated incase there was distress at home.... finally they decided I was a deep sleeper and the messgae from my brain did not make me up in time.

I had a beeper pad which set off an alarm the moment the first drop of urine touched the sheet.... I was cured in 48 hours!! It had a profound effect on me, I woke up screaming because of the alarm... to this day I wake abruptly for an alarm in a slight panic and I only had it for 2 nights when I was 8! BUT it worked, worth a try for your boys.

 

[marezee]

I have 3 boys ages 5, 4 and 2 1/2.
My older two boys have been potty trained for years too. I use overnight pull-ups.
Bedwetting is genetic and physiological.
I was a bedwetter until age 7, my DH until age 6 or 7.
I don't think they can help it.
rather than change sheets everyday, or embarass them (like my mom did to me!), I will let them wear the overnight pull-ups until they are mostly dry when they wake up in the morning.
like you, i was worried it was something medical. but that is not the case.
it is just a waiting game now.

 

[Leanna]

Its actually considered normal until 6 years old, so get some pull ups and let the littles grow up as they go. For other suggestions I don't let my son drink anything after dinner, unless its just a bit of water.

 

[Leanna]

P.S. We don't want to do the diaper or pull up thing because it is like a crutch for our kids....they don't mind wearing them and if they are wearing them they would rather pee in them than get up and use the bathroom. Also it's expensive.

They're going in the bed anyway, so unless you want to change the sheets every morning its going to be a worthy expense. But let's be realistic-- you probably have to buy a package of pull ups once a month or less. Its not that expensive.

 

[Christdefinesme]

This is totally normal, especially in boys, my brother wet the bed until he was 8, my husband til he was 9 or 10, my oldest son is 8 and just the last 3 months has been dry. We decided to put a really nice waterproof pad under the sheet for him (found it at Target online, it holds 25 cups of liquid and is really soft, very very nice), it wasn't happening every night, I didn't mind throwing his bedding in the wash a few times a week. My youngest is 4, and at first was trianed through the night, then began, and we just put him in a pullup. Good thing, that pull up is only dry 3 times a week. We'll try in a few months, but we are probably going to just move up to the waterproof pad with him too.

Your sons are probably being awakened by the fact their beds are wet, they are wet, etc, then they realize and are awakened. They aren't doing it on purpose, and they aren't trying to get away with something. The best thing is to stay far from shaming them, either get pull ups or get some nice waterproof pads, and just gently remind them to go in the bathroom if they feel the urge in the middle of the night.

I could not restrict liquids with my oldest, he has a condition where he needs to drink, but we did the waking thing before we went to bed, and it never solved the problem. BUT, he IS growing out of it.

I feel your pain! The best thing is to accept it at this point, and work with the problem the best you can. I am sure there will be a time when this won't happen anymore! Take care.

 

[Birbitt]

Well I thank everyone for their advice, I guess there just isn't anything I can do to stop this...I was really hoping I could get it to stop because it's really limiting them and us as we can not send them to anyone's house overnight for fear they will wet the bed and leave a mess for the person who has them overnight, and also I can't buy them a new bed until they stop wetting the bed....(they really want bunk beds) but I refuse to buy them brand new mattresses until they stop wetting or else they will ruin the new matress...guess they'll be in toddler beds a while longer....Thanks for the advice.

 

[marezee]

Well I thank everyone for their advice, I guess there just isn't anything I can do to stop this...I was really hoping I could get it to stop because it's really limiting them and us as we can not send them to anyone's house overnight for fear they will wet the bed and leave a mess for the person who has them overnight, and also I can't buy them a new bed until they stop wetting the bed....(they really want bunk beds) but I refuse to buy them brand new mattresses until they stop wetting or else they will ruin the new matress...guess they'll be in toddler beds a while longer....Thanks for the advice.

you can use pull-ups when they go to sleepovers.
and you can get those mattress covers to protect their new mattresses.

 

[Leanna]

My son sleeps on a regular bed, I bought a waterproof mattress cover and things are well.

 

[Christdefinesme]

If you buy waterproof mattress covers, you should have no problem protecting their mattresses. We just got new mattresses last summer, and it hasn't been much of a problem, we have mattress protectors. Good luck, hope you find a peaceful solution for all!

 

[jgonz]

One of my boys had a bedwetting problem. When he was 7, I started getting desperate and started asking advice from a couple of parenting boards I was on. One of the moms suggested getting "Is This Your Child?" by Doris Rapp. It's a book on food allergies and sensitivities. I ordered it from amazon and the second it came I sat down and skimmed the parts that related to us.

It turned out that my son had a Dairy sensitivity, which was majorly contributing to the bedwetting. I would never in a million years have connected the two, but apparently they Are connected.

I also found that my son had food dye sensitivities and reacted Very strongly to red & orange food dyes. They were Directly causing his behavioral problems.

I immediately cut out food dyes from his diet (the whole families' actually) and stopped letting everyone drink milk at each meal, letting them only have a tiny amount on cereal in the morning. This included not letting them have jello pudding for dessert after dinner~ even that much milk would cause my son to wet the bed that night.

Immediately I saw a difference in my son's behavior, and he stopped wetting the bed Completely within a few days. I'm not kidding, it was that amazing...

 

[Birbitt]

Maybe I will have to get that book...even if it doesn't work at least I've tried right?? It sounds like it has lots of different information in it...thanks

 

[TexasSky]

The problem with my boys is that I think they are aware of what they are doing because they will wake up after having wet the bed and strip down to nothing and then come and get into my bed naked because their bed is wet....Knowing this I really think that they know what they are doing and just don't feel like getting up to do it....though I could be wrong that's why I'm asking for advice that and because I"m tired of washing their sheets every morning, and if they don't get the wet clothes in the washer right away our family cat pees on the already wet clothes and then its very smelly...

I don't think they "know what they are doing" in the sense of they know they are wetting the bed and can stop at will.

I think they get into too deep a sleep to be awakened by a full bladder, and then laying in the dampness awakens them after the fact.

Try reading this: http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/bladder/enuresis.html

 

[charligirl]

Sounds like you have a number of things to try - the allergy one is interesting, I would also try a beeper pad... if i'ts going to work it will be quick, if not try something else.

 

[charligirl]

Sounds like you have a number of things to try - the allergy one is interesting, I would also try a beeper pad... if i'ts going to work it will be quick, if not try something else.