BDay $$ Tithe for 10 Year old D

[SelfProtect]

Hi all,
My girl turned 10 and got $94 for her bday from guests/relatives. I told her she should put $9 in the offering. She was really upset with me. She has done this in the passed and been very generous but this time it seems I caught her offguard. So I told her to pray about it and see where the Lord leads her. I said God will never make you do anything you don't want to do but just take a couple days to think/pray about it and if she still didn't want to give then I would put the $$ in her bank account. My son wouldn't have thought twice about it, he wouldve just put the $$ in the offering and he is 11.

Anyway, I'm not sure what kind of advise I'm looking for. I am just really hoping she makes the right decision on her own. If she doesn't I guess I'll just let it go.

 

[LovingMother]

My kiddos aren't as old, so my advice isn't really from experience, just an idea I hope will help.

Does your daughter understand where the money from tithing goes? For example, many churches use tithes to help hungry children in their community or to bring children overseas to salvation. My thought is, if she can relate to where the money goes and that she would be directly contributing to this purpose, perhaps she would more readily tithe.

Also, many churches have separate accounts for different projects. Perhaps allowing her to choose which project to tithe to will help. Most of the churches I have attended allow it's patrons to label their tithe for a particular project rather than for just the general church fund.

 

[Kelly]

She's still pretty young, the money came from gifts....I don't know....did she have her sights set on some big purchase that she needs the whole amount for?

 

[Krazeekkc]

Well, if she needs all of it maybe you could tell her if she tithed you would pay for the rest of the thing she wants to buy. That is if you would want to do that.

 

[mamaneenie]

Hi, my son is a little younger, so again, I'm not experienced in this situation either. I wouldn't compare her to her 11 yo brother though. I'm sure that a lot of development occurs in those 2 years. They can understand more and probably are a little more understand of what tithing actually is and why we do it.


As it is a gift I don't think I would push her to tithe the money. After all I know I would be pretty cheesed if someone made me tithe my birthday money. Does she have pocket money that you could use to teach the principle of tithing?

 

[SelfProtect]

LovingMother
Thanks for the suggestions, I will try that.

Kelly and Krazeekkc,
She doesn't want buy anything, she has a bank account and saves until she does want something I won't buy for her.

mamaneenie,
She gets a VERY small allowance since I'm broke all the time. She gets $3 a month - pretty pathetic I know, but I'm a single parent working part-time so its tough. Since it is such a small amount, I haven't asked that she tithe on that. She is with her dad every other weekend so its $1.5 each for the weekend that I have them. I pay for our entertainment. Its mainly for when they want to buy something wherever we go, it keeps them from wanting everything. I'm looking for a full-time job now, when/if I get one I will increase their allowance and teach tithing on that. thanks!

 

[LovingMother]

She gets a VERY small allowance since I'm broke all the time. She gets $3 a month - pretty pathetic I know, but I'm a single parent working part-time so its tough. Since it is such a small amount, I haven't asked that she tithe on that. She is with her dad every other weekend so its $1.5 each for the weekend that I have them. I pay for our entertainment. Its mainly for when they want to buy something wherever we go, it keeps them from wanting everything. I'm looking for a full-time job now, when/if I get one I will increase their allowance and teach tithing on that. thanks!

I don't think you should feel badly for not giving her a bigger allowance. It is when we have the least that we learn the most. Right now, she is learning that if she wants something, she has to save for it and be careful with her money. She's not likely to learn that lesson if she is getting enough allowance to buy the things she wants without saving.

I was brought up in a middle class family that had enough money for what we wanted as well as what we needed. I was still given only $5 a month for my allowance until I was 15 years old, at which point it went up to $10 per month. When I was 16, it was made clear to me that if I wanted more money, I had to work for it. I wasn't always happy about it at the time, but I am thankful for that lesson now.

 

[SelfProtect]

Thanks Lovingmother. I know this part-time job has taught us all a lesson on money. It has been a blessing. I do feel like I'm depriving them sometimes. I think it would feel better to say no because I said no rather than saying no because I can't afford it. Its just nice to have choices. Aside from that pity party, I really have enjoyed this season of rest of working part-time.

 

[HeatherJay]

I would say considering that her birthday gift is so much more than her usual income from her allowance it's understandable that she's reluctant to part with it. And it is a gift that she was given. It would be nice if she did decide on her own to tithe $9 of it, but if she doesn't I wouldn't make a big deal about it. If it's something that you feel very strongly about, maybe you could give her a choice...either tithe a percentage of her birthday money or reduce her allowance for the next couple of months. Considering that she's not used to having that much money...can't you understand why she's so set on holding onto it. Do you tithe 10% of your monthly income? If not, it's a little unfair to expect the same from her. I'm not implying that you don't, but she could just be following in the footsteps of someone she looks up to?

Love, Heather

 

[Kelly]

With a $3 a mo. allowance, she just received huge sum of money. She just received the equivalent of 2.5 times her yearly salary. For someone who is so young, and thus new in her walk w/ the Lord, her reaction is understandable.

Perhaps take her to a soup kitchen and have her help pass out food or stuff care packages. She might have trouble understanding how a donation can go to help a church or a charity. After seeing it first hand she might be more willing to tithe or donate some of her gift.

 

[Peter]

I guess I would ask what example you have set for your daughter. Do you tithe? From net or gross? Do you tithe off your tax return, b-day money? Has your spouse ever given you a gift certificate? Have you tithed off that? (It's just as good as cash) Has anyone ever blessed you with a food gift. Did you give a tenth of it to someone else? Does 10% of your driving involve helping others? Have you ever been given two shirts? Did you keep both? How about 10% of your time? In short, do you tithe off everything you own, or just select stuff?

$94 is a fortune to a child of that age. As a parent, we are to represent God to our children. Does God MAKE you tithe? Or does He only ask you too?

I've never made my children tithe. But they will give their last shirt to someone in need. To me, that's more important.

Peace.

Peter

 

[HeatherJay]

Nicely said, Peter. Sounds like you and your wife have raised wonderful children.

Love, Heather

 

[Peter]

My wife has. lol

 

[faith177]

I think we should encourage our children to tithe, but not force them God does want our giving to be joyful. We should show them the scriptures and be good models.

 

[mamaneenie]

I wouldn't be too worried about giving your children a small allowance. When I was younger (am one of 5 kids) we were given what our parents could afford. Sometimes it was a small amount too. When I was old enough my parents said they would help pay for school expenses and clothes I needed (not necessarily wanted) and if I wanted more I would need to earn it. I did babysitting and worked part -time as a waitress. I think this is the best experience I have ever had. As it taught me responsibility.