Baptist Weddings

[Rhamiel]

thank everyone for your help

 

[Catherineanne]

I did not start this up to debate about if marriage is a sacrament, I am just trying to learn more about what the Baptist church teaches about marriage
I am in love with a lovely young lady who is a member of the Baptist denomination, we have been together for four months and we both feel that it is starting to get serious, we are not planning on getting married right away or anything, I am just trying to learn more about what Baptists think about marriage

I have to say, I commend you both for taking this issue seriously, and making this discussion part of your relationship at an early stage. I am sure you will find a way forward that is right for you both, and if you do marry in time, right for your children as well. It would not do any harm at all to talk to her pastor and your priest as well, just to clarify what is possible and what is not. It might also be an idea for your gf to take RCIA classes, not with a view to converting necessarily, but in order to find out what it is that Catholics believe. There is a huge amount of misinformation around, and it might help her to get a clearer picture. I don't know if the Baptists have a similar kind of course or not; it might be worth asking, as long as your priest is happy with it, and knows that you are not intending to leave the Catholic Church.

God be with you.

 

[Cjwinnit]

I am just curious how this works. Do you and your wife go to different churches? Are you both actively involved in your respective faith communities? Do you have children? If so, are they involved in both faith communities, yours, hers, or neither?

I really am curious about these things, and I also hope that your comments might provide guidance to the OP.

Going to the same church - a semi-liberal High church Anglican one with an outstanding vicar. We went to a evangelical/charismatic Anglican church before we got married and we moved town. We're settling in. No kids yet.

 

[Rhamiel]

I have to say, I commend you both for taking this issue seriously, and making this discussion part of your relationship at an early stage. I am sure you will find a way forward that is right for you both, and if you do marry in time, right for your children as well. It would not do any harm at all to talk to her pastor and your priest as well, just to clarify what is possible and what is not. It might also be an idea for your gf to take RCIA classes, not with a view to converting necessarily, but in order to find out what it is that Catholics believe. There is a huge amount of misinformation around, and it might help her to get a clearer picture. I don't know if the Baptists have a similar kind of course or not; it might be worth asking, as long as your priest is happy with it, and knows that you are not intending to leave the Catholic Church.

God be with you.

she is adament no RCIA classes, if she is going to learn about the Catholic Church she wants to learn about it from me

 

[Catherineanne]

she is adament no RCIA classes, if she is going to learn about the Catholic Church she wants to learn about it from me

With respect, that is not actually learning about the Catholic Church, is it?

Would she be willing to go with you? Then you can talk about what is said, and you can tell her which bits you agree with, and which you find more problematic.

 

[dies-l]

Going to the same church - a semi-liberal High church Anglican one with an outstanding vicar. We went to a evangelical/charismatic Anglican church before we got married and we moved town. We're settling in. No kids yet.

Does your wife still identify as Baptist?

This sounds similar enough to my situation. I was raised Methodist, and before I met my wife, I attended a Methodist church. She is on staff at a non-denominational church with strong Baptist beliefs (it was a member of the SBC when we started dating). We go the same church, and I don't particularly identify as Methodist, though my beliefs are probably more Baptist than most Methodists would be comfortable with and more Methodist than most Baptists would be comfortable with.

 

[pilgrim1999]

what does the Baptist Church teach about valid marriage?
what does that Baptist Church teach about the officiant?

Baptists do not have a sacramental view of marriage like the RCC does, if that's what you're after.

However, no Baptist but a liberal one would be ok with a Baptist marrying a Roman Catholic. I would not think that any conscientious Baptist pastor would perform such a marriage (especially if the Baptist is a member, etc.) as it would be seen as an unequal yoke, etc. However, they would not see the marriage as invalid if and when it occurs. Would a RC priest be involved in this? If so, it would seem to show a "liberalization" in their views as I can't imagine one doing so 100 years ago. Would they consider it a valid marriage so far as the RC church goes, or merely a civil one?

Can two walk together if they're not agreed? There would be problems in a marriage in which you have a convinced Lutheran or Methodist and a Baptist, much less a convinced Roman Catholic and a convinced Protestant or Baptist.

My counsel is to get this sorted out prior to marriage. You may think you can sweep it under the rug now but it's bound to come up later if both of you are convinced of your current beliefs.

 

[pilgrim1999]

With respect, that is not actually learning about the Catholic Church, is it?

Would she be willing to go with you? Then you can talk about what is said, and you can tell her which bits you agree with, and which you find more problematic.

I agree. This is even more of a sign to slow down or stop altogether. As you've (the OP) already stated, you don't know where to begin. Who better to learn Roman Catholicism from than a RC priest? Conversely, you could talk to a Baptist pastor to better learn their beliefs.

Is she a member of a church? If not, that would appear to point to a tenuous commitment. Do you both attend services regularly? Have you visited her church (if she has one) has she gone to mass, etc.

 

[Rhamiel]

Baptists do not have a sacramental view of marriage like the RCC does, if that's what you're after.

However, no Baptist but a liberal one would be ok with a Baptist marrying a Roman Catholic. I would not think that any conscientious Baptist pastor would perform such a marriage (especially if the Baptist is a member, etc.) as it would be seen as an unequal yoke, etc. However, they would not see the marriage as invalid if and when it occurs. Would a RC priest be involved in this? If so, it would seem to show a "liberalization" in their views as I can't imagine one doing so 100 years ago. Would they consider it a valid marriage so far as the RC church goes, or merely a civil one?

Can two walk together if they're not agreed? There would be problems in a marriage in which you have a convinced Lutheran or Methodist and a Baptist, much less a convinced Roman Catholic and a convinced Protestant or Baptist.

My counsel is to get this sorted out prior to marriage. You may think you can sweep it under the rug now but it's bound to come up later if both of you are convinced of your current beliefs.

I agree. This is even more of a sign to slow down or stop altogether. As you've (the OP) already stated, you don't know where to begin. Who better to learn Roman Catholicism from than a RC priest? Conversely, you could talk to a Baptist pastor to better learn their beliefs.

Is she a member of a church? If not, that would appear to point to a tenuous commitment. Do you both attend services regularly? Have you visited her church (if she has one) has she gone to mass, etc.

we are taking this seriously
what do you mean liberlization of their views?
you kind of lost me now
she has recently moved and she went with her grandmother to a non-denominational church with heavy baptist leanings and before that she regularly attended a baptist church
she is talking about going to mass on sunday to see what it is like
i attend services regularly

 

[phoenixdem]

The difference in the Roman Catholic Church beliefs and Baptist beliefs are really significant. If you are serious in your faith and she is, those differences will be more forthcoming as time passes. They say that love is blind and that is largely true; however, just realize that as time goes on the blinders come off and who knows what will happen then.

 

[DeaconDean]

My brother, there is no easy answer for you with the issues of denominations.

I see you as being here:

I sincerely hope God's love smiles down upon you and He blesses this union.

True love between a man and a woman who love each other and love God equally is a very rare thing today.

Cherish it.

God Bless

Till all are one.

 

[Rhamiel]

The difference in the Roman Catholic Church beliefs and Baptist beliefs are really significant. If you are serious in your faith and she is, those differences will be more forthcoming as time passes. They say that love is blind and that is largely true; however, just realize that as time goes on the blinders come off and who knows what will happen then.

thank you for your concern my dear brother in Christ
I understand that there are a lot of things that we do not agree on, she is very missinformed about the Catholic Church so I am trying to teach her a bit about it.
I am not big on what I call "blind eccuminicism" where people down play the differances between two differant religions, but I am also not so bold as to think that there are no common things

 

[pilgrim1999]

By "liberalization" I mean a relaxation or change (oops but that's impossible ) in views on certain things that they would have stood firm on years ago. (On the issue of marriage to non-Catholics I have to confess ignorance however.)

To give some examples, 100 years ago (and perhaps right up to Vatican II for many) it was not uncommon to see and hear Roman Catholics say things such as one must be a member of the RCC to be saved. (Occasionally you'll see traditionalists still say things like this, and more commonly, you'll come across some who think that if they leave the RCC that they will go to hell.) But now the official teaching is that we are "separated brethren" and moreover, even "good" Hindus and Muslims can be saved even if never abandoning their false religion.

As a former "liberal Protestant" it looks to me that the shift that the RCC underwent post-Vatican II isn't all that different than the move of "liberal Protestantism" in the 20th Century with the notable exception of sexual ethics. That's why the reiteration of the ban on birth control etc. soon after Vatican II was so controversial and surprising for some in 1968 (was it?) and today. I know this is getting a bit off track but I wanted to respond to clarify what I meant since you asked.

Certainly there are common things between Catholics and Baptists. We both believe in the Trinity, that Jesus is God, that he was born of a Virgin, that He is coming again, just to name a few. I'm glad you're no blind ecumenist, which is relativism and post-modernism run amok. I'd much prefer to have an honest disagreement and exchange of views than try to discuss things with someone who thinks that it's all the same.

I'm sure she has a lot of misunderstandings about the RCC. But I wouldn't be surprised to learn that you might be somewhat misinformed about the Reformation, Baptists, etc. This is demonstrated by the question you raised in your OP. Rare indeed is the individual who is interested to learn enough about opposing views to be able to present them accurately.

Unfortunately, too many have little to no idea about what the church they were brought up in believes and what makes them different than others. In my state, there are a lot of Roman Catholics as well as a lot of Baptists. A huge amount of both sadly know little to nothing about what separates them. But many of these folks are only nominally connected to their professed faith and it makes little difference in their lives beyond trying to be a "good person." A lot of atheists try to be "good persons." But some of them hold positions of authority.

You don't really live in Vatican City as indicated by your profile, do you?

we are taking this seriously
what do you mean liberlization of their views?
you kind of lost me now
she has recently moved and she went with her grandmother to a non-denominational church with heavy baptist leanings and before that she regularly attended a baptist church
she is talking about going to mass on sunday to see what it is like
i attend services regularly

 

[Rhamiel]

By "liberalization" I mean a relaxation or change (oops but that's impossible ) in views on certain things that they would have stood firm on years ago. (On the issue of marriage to non-Catholics I have to confess ignorance however.)

To give some examples, 100 years ago (and perhaps right up to Vatican II for many) it was not uncommon to see and hear Roman Catholics say things such as one must be a member of the RCC to be saved. (Occasionally you'll see traditionalists still say things like this, and more commonly, you'll come across some who think that if they leave the RCC that they will go to hell.) But now the official teaching is that we are "separated brethren" and moreover, even "good" Hindus and Muslims can be saved even if never abandoning their false religion.

As a former "liberal Protestant" it looks to me that the shift that the RCC underwent post-Vatican II isn't all that different than the move of "liberal Protestantism" in the 20th Century with the notable exception of sexual ethics. That's why the reiteration of the ban on birth control etc. soon after Vatican II was so controversial and surprising for some in 1968 (was it?) and today. I know this is getting a bit off track but I wanted to respond to clarify what I meant since you asked.

Certainly there are common things between Catholics and Baptists. We both believe in the Trinity, that Jesus is God, that he was born of a Virgin, that He is coming again, just to name a few. I'm glad you're no blind ecumenist, which is relativism and post-modernism run amok. I'd much prefer to have an honest disagreement and exchange of views than try to discuss things with someone who thinks that it's all the same.

I'm sure she has a lot of misunderstandings about the RCC. But I wouldn't be surprised to learn that you might be somewhat misinformed about the Reformation, Baptists, etc. This is demonstrated by the question you raised in your OP. Rare indeed is the individual who is interested to learn enough about opposing views to be able to present them accurately.

Unfortunately, too many have little to no idea about what the church they were brought up in believes and what makes them different than others. In my state, there are a lot of Roman Catholics as well as a lot of Baptists. A huge amount of both sadly know little to nothing about what separates them. But many of these folks are only nominally connected to their professed faith and it makes little difference in their lives beyond trying to be a "good person." A lot of atheists try to be "good persons." But some of them hold positions of authority.

You don't really live in Vatican City as indicated by your profile, do you?

LOL I do not live in vatican city, that came up a while ago as kind of a statement, some Catholics were critisizing the Pope so a few of us in the Catholic subforum changed our flag to the vatican flag, lol now i just got used to it, it should say under the "join date" that my location is ohio

I am fairly sure that for well over 100 years that the Catholic Church has allowed marriages between Catholics and Protestants, I know this goes back atleast untill the 1800's

 

[Rhamiel]

things are going well, thank all of you for your prayers and advice

 

[Rhamiel]

it is starting to look like we will not need a convalidation

 

[FreeinChrist]

thank you
have any of you heard of wedding with a baptist pastor and a catholic priest both acting as officiants for a wedding?

Yes, I had such a wedding. We have been together 38 years.

 

[Rhamiel]

Yes, I had such a wedding. We have been together 38 years.

God bless both of you
if you can offer any advise, that would be greatly appreciated
if you do not want to get too personal i understand

 

[Catherineanne]

things are going well, thank all of you for your prayers and advice

I am delighted to hear that things are going well for you, Rh.

God be with you both.

 

[Rhamiel]

i am on a vacation to new york, i picked up a pink pearl, well not real peal, it is plastic but it looks cool, I hope she likes it