My dear friend,
I have so much to say. First of all, I believe in you! And I believe in you regardless of the fact that you might have sworn or had a bad thought. None of us are perfect, so we MUST give ourselves a break and not feel badly about it longer than necessary. David committed murder and adultery in one day, yet he is mentioned in the Great Hall of Faith, Hebrews chapter 11.
Find peace in these two verses: [Mar 3:28,29 NLT] 28 "I tell you the truth, all sin and blasphemy can be forgiven, 29 but anyone who blasphemes the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven. This is a sin with eternal consequences."
What we are trying to avoid is habitual sin. True Christians will be empowered to overcome their habitual sins, therefore, these are the sins in your life that you need to focus on. Now, about your swearing. I want to assure you that our God is so unbelievable powerful that He does not overly concern Himself with the syllables that come out of your mouths. Who do you think God uses to complete His work? Perfect angels with perfect speech? Or, imperfect humans with imperfect speech? That is right, God can only use a sinful human to do His work. Therefore, I find comfort in realizing that I am human, and I find comfort in knowing and understanding God’s full grace. He loves us, and He also understands our fears, for even Jesus was afraid of His torture and murder.
I know that many teach that confidence is from the Lord, but come on, it just isn’t. Confidence is a part of our original make up, as in confidence is the very virtue that Adam and Eve naturally possessed. What is the alternative? Fear, and that didn’t happen until after they sinned. Once the sin nature fell upon our hearts, our sense of confidence was in jeopardy because who do you know that possess true, human confidence? That’s right, there are none. I am going to implore that you begin to cast away your fears, to begin to believe in yourself, that you are just fine! You did not wake up one day and tell yourself that you would like to suffer from these things, so you MUST go easy on yourself.
Romans 7 teaches us that when we sin, it is not actually “us” that is sinning, rather, it is the sinful nature. It is imperative to view the sinful nature as something that is separate from yourself, which will be helpful for going easy not only on yourself, but also going easy on others when they fail.
We also need to be honest and admit that one reason for why you are suffering is because those around you are suffering. We are all suffering in one way or another, but those that are suffering little are the ones that are offering solutions and assistance. Do you know of anyone like this? I doubt it, for these people are rare.
What would be helpful for you, would be to find a church, if one exists, that truly believes in loving each other. When there is a weak brother in one of Paul’s churches, Paul fully expected the entire group of believers to lift up that weak and insecure Christian. We are to help each other, and I already know that you have not likely been helped as you ought to have been.
The best way to develop simple, human confidence, is to simply do the right things in life. The more right behavior we have, the more confidence we will naturally possess. But please remember, that if you dwell on your failures, you will only have the mind of a failure, and life is too short for that. You are just fine! I believe in you! So my plea with you, my friend, is to let go of feeling sad, bad, guilty etc, and to move on from those feelings as fast as you can, casting those evil thoughts of sadness away and carrying onward! God loves a confident heart that is calm, relaxed and clear thinking. When we are like this, our minds are open to Him and His ways.
I have prayed for you and I absolutely believe in prayer. Now go, and serve another person today and reap the reward in your heart!
I believe in you.
