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Bad Memories

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Mayflower1

Mayflower1

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I just had a flashback today of being raped by my father... up to this point, I just thought it was sexual molestation but now this... I am fighting not to tell my Mom today but I know she will sense my mood. I don't want to tell anyone except here on the computer. I feel safe here I guess... I kind of figured the same though. I had been denying a long time but it is finally coming out now that I have actually felt good. Now the storm is bad in full force and I feel so weak and pushed over... I feel betrayed...:cry: I wish I can let it out more. I can't cut anymore, I can't...
 
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lucybee

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I'm sorry that this is coming back to you right now, that you were also raped on top of everything else. It always seems like just when life is getting better it all comes back and destroys it all.

I'm glad to see that you dont want to cut, its so easy to go into the self destructive phase. Anytime you have hurtful feelings come here and rant, yell, scream, whatever it takes to get it out of your system. We will be here for you to help the best we can, we love you and care about you. Remember as contrite as it sounds God is here for you and wants to help. He will help you through this if you let Him. He can take your anger or bitterness, tell it all to Him, let Him wrap His loving arms around you and carry your pain.

:hug:
 
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Mayflower1

Mayflower1

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I feel angry and everything. Mostly numb right now... It was going so good and then I have to think about this... It is so stupid. It happened 15 years ago and I am hurt about it...
 
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lillybug0514

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It's not stupid, it happened and it is a terrible thing. It doesnt matter that it happened 15 years ago, what matters is that it is affecting you now. Time means nothing with this sort of thing. Just remember the verse in your signature... Phil. 4:13, you can get through this with God, He will give you the strength that you need.
 
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