Backslid :/

[-GodsGirl-]

A couple weeks ago I backslid a lot. After I backslid I kind of stopped reading the Bible and stopped praying and spending time with God. I started to notice that my heart wasn’t right with God and that made me very upset. I was very sad that in my heart I wanted to do bad things. Not only did I have bad intentions but I chose to act on them.

It’s a struggle man. But I realized very quickly where my life was heading. And decided I wasn’t going to follow my sinful desires anymore. I’ve been doing a plan to read the Bible in a year. Which is something I’ve been wanting to do for awhile now. I just want to desire God like I did before I backslid. I’m very upset with myself, but I’m trying not to dwell on the past.

I know I’m forgiven but sometimes I get obsessive thoughts. And think that there’s no way I’m saved and that I’ll burn in hell for eternity. And that scares me so bad. I’ve been making an effort to change my perspective on these issues. I’ve been praying that God would help change my perspective and help me to see him working in my life. But like, I don’t want to trick myself ya know? Like make myself think I’m saved but I’m really not. I’m very stressed and I’ve been talking to God about it. I don’t know. I guess I’m just saying what’s on my mind. I hope some of you will pray for me. I just want to put God first in my life. I want to desire him more than the worldly things I desire. And I want to be genuine with him. I want to be consistent with him.

I know that I’m desiring God because he’s allowing me too. And I think that’s so cool. Like God wants me to know him and even though I sometimes backslid he’s always there. The Holy Spirit keeps turning me back to Christ and I don’t deserve it. It’s mindblowing to me. Like who am I that God wants me ? It’s crazy.

I just want God. And I’m not going to let my emotions or my bad thoughts stop me from seeking him. Please pray for me. I’m struggling.

God bless

 

[VexingWitness]

Backsliding is hard. Believe me, I know. But don't get so caught up in what you think is the right and wrong of it. Remember, Paul said everything is legal, though not all is edifying. God gave us sin. That's why He is so understanding about it. It's for our benefit. Kind of like a simulation for us to conquer. He knows exactly how many times you're going to backside, before you get it right. Focus on your walk with Him. It helps. And remember what Jesus said. Love your enemy. Embrace your sin. It's God's gift to you. Discover what it is that you love so much about it. Ask questions, concerning it, to God, and to yourself. Admit that you love doing it, for some reason, and try to discover what that reason is. Admit that it comes between you and God. Jesus said any who love their life will lose it, and any who hate their life will have it with them, always. He was talking about sin that becomes the focus of your life, instead of God. Learn to love it, and understand it, and God will take it from you. Hate it, and God will leave it there until you learn to appreciate it for what it is. His challenge for you. And don't forget to thank Him for it.

We're all learning to walk in the Father's house. And that means learning what is good, and what is not.

 

[thesunisout]

A couple weeks ago I backslid a lot. After I backslid I kind of stopped reading the Bible and stopped praying and spending time with God. I started to notice that my heart wasn’t right with God and that made me very upset. I was very sad that in my heart I wanted to do bad things. Not only did I have bad intentions but I chose to act on them.

It’s a struggle man. But I realized very quickly where my life was heading. And decided I wasn’t going to follow my sinful desires anymore. I’ve been doing a plan to read the Bible in a year. Which is something I’ve been wanting to do for awhile now. I just want to desire God like I did before I backslid. I’m very upset with myself, but I’m trying not to dwell on the past.

I know I’m forgiven but sometimes I get obsessive thoughts. And think that there’s no way I’m saved and that I’ll burn in hell for eternity. And that scares me so bad. I’ve been making an effort to change my perspective on these issues. I’ve been praying that God would help change my perspective and help me to see him working in my life. But like, I don’t want to trick myself ya know? Like make myself think I’m saved but I’m really not. I’m very stressed and I’ve been talking to God about it. I don’t know. I guess I’m just saying what’s on my mind. I hope some of you will pray for me. I just want to put God first in my life. I want to desire him more than the worldly things I desire. And I want to be genuine with him. I want to be consistent with him.

I know that I’m desiring God because he’s allowing me too. And I think that’s so cool. Like God wants me to know him and even though I sometimes backslid he’s always there. The Holy Spirit keeps turning me back to Christ and I don’t deserve it. It’s mindblowing to me. Like who am I that God wants me ? It’s crazy.

I just want God. And I’m not going to let my emotions or my bad thoughts stop me from seeking him. Please pray for me. I’m struggling.

God bless

Gods strength is there for you to restore you. And remember with every temptation God is faithful to make a way of escape. So we have hope through Gods word to overcome in our tribulation. The scripture tells us that if we confess our sins we will be forgiven of our sins and cleansed from all unrighteousness. Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. It should be mindblowing to all of us.

 

[Not me]

A couple weeks ago I backslid a lot. After I backslid I kind of stopped reading the Bible and stopped praying and spending time with God. I started to notice that my heart wasn’t right with God and that made me very upset. I was very sad that in my heart I wanted to do bad things. Not only did I have bad intentions but I chose to act on them.

It’s a struggle man. But I realized very quickly where my life was heading. And decided I wasn’t going to follow my sinful desires anymore. I’ve been doing a plan to read the Bible in a year. Which is something I’ve been wanting to do for awhile now. I just want to desire God like I did before I backslid. I’m very upset with myself, but I’m trying not to dwell on the past.

I know I’m forgiven but sometimes I get obsessive thoughts. And think that there’s no way I’m saved and that I’ll burn in hell for eternity. And that scares me so bad. I’ve been making an effort to change my perspective on these issues. I’ve been praying that God would help change my perspective and help me to see him working in my life. But like, I don’t want to trick myself ya know? Like make myself think I’m saved but I’m really not. I’m very stressed and I’ve been talking to God about it. I don’t know. I guess I’m just saying what’s on my mind. I hope some of you will pray for me. I just want to put God first in my life. I want to desire him more than the worldly things I desire. And I want to be genuine with him. I want to be consistent with him.

I know that I’m desiring God because he’s allowing me too. And I think that’s so cool. Like God wants me to know him and even though I sometimes backslid he’s always there. The Holy Spirit keeps turning me back to Christ and I don’t deserve it. It’s mindblowing to me. Like who am I that God wants me ? It’s crazy.

I just want God. And I’m not going to let my emotions or my bad thoughts stop me from seeking him. Please pray for me. I’m struggling.

God bless

Prayers for you GodsGirl. From what I read you have a heart after Christ, which is the only thing necessary. Just keep that soft and open to the Lord, and “He will perfect that which concerns you”

As it says in scripture “forgetting those things that are behind, pressing forward to the high calling of God in Christ Jesus”

Fight that fight of faith! Prayers for you. In Christ, Not Me