Back to square one.

[delicate_flower]

I don't have the patience right now to explain my lifestory so all I have to say is that I struggled with cutting before and here I am again.

God is not fully in my life at the moment. I want him to be but I'm too stupidly stubborn to sit down and ask forgiveness for every wrong thing I've done in my life so far.

I'm giving my boyfriend hell because of this, and normally, I would care and stop but this time, it seems to be eating my sense and my care all together. I won't be surprised if he decides to leave me soon because of this. He's going to Iraq in August and the last thing he needs is a messed up girlfriend waiting for him...

My family does not know about my cutting and I don't want them to ever know.

I don't know why I'm posting this right now, I guess part of me wants help while the cynical part of me wants to be left alone to die a reckless death.

All I want to do is to get my life together and maybe be a decent daughter, girlfriend, and believer. I know I'm lower than most people because of what I do and my mindset... and right now, I would say that I don't care but obviously I do because I am posting this...

I feel so messed up right now. I'm sorry but I can't cry about this right now; actually, I don't feel sorry. Lol, I might not even feel.

Anyway, what can you make of this?

 

[texannurse]

Delicate Flower - You are right, you do care or else you wouldn't be writing. When all seems dark and scary and worthless, know that there are other people out there suffering with the same issues. And we need one another to get through this. I hope and pray that you will have the courage to go to Jesus for help, to not let yourself "die a reckless death". My prayers are with you in a special way today!
In Him,
texannurse

P.S. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me - or any of the others - remember, we are in this together

 

[pockleberry]

I know how you feel I've been there...if you ever wanna talk feel free to pm me or add me to msn even if you don't wanna talk about this I'm always happy just to be a listening ear or whatever you need.

Pockleberry

 

[NinadeDios777]

i prayed for you....