Attracted to dark things more than God?

[Togetherly]

Hey guys, I am by no means a new Christian. I have strayed away a lot from God in the last 2 years or so after being badly mistreated by Christians at Bible school. What I am finding these days (and maybe understanding was always the case) is that I am more attracted to the darkness than God. I love rock, grunge, punk, metal music but absolutely cannot stand listening to Christian music as a hobby - i.e not when in a church when worshipping. It has no appeal to me and bores me. It is the same with pretty much every other area in my life. Why is this the case? I am always much more interested in depressing and dark things than God and happiness and such.

 

[Ark100]

The things of the world look more interesting to most people than things of God. Why do you think people call Christians 'boring'? Church 'boring' Praying 'boring' etc
Jesus said "If you love me, you will obey my commands"
Loving Jesus, accepting Him into our lives and striving daily with the help of the Holy Spirit is what makes any true Christian conquer in this world.

Its really easy. The more you draw closer to the world or things of the world, the more your relationship with God suffers. The more you draw closer to God, the more strong your relationship with Him will be.
How can you get to know someone that you don't take interest in or read about? You have to have an active interest, a burning passion to know someone before they can begin to reveal themselves to you deeper and deeper.
What you see in the world will all pass away. They are all vanity, worldly useless vanity. The only thing that will NEVER pass away is the WORD and TRUTH of God, and who HE is.

 

[BFine]

It sounds like a "heart condition" -- the hurts you have experienced have taken
root in you and for some folks it can become a thing that drives them into
a realm of darkness where there's little joy, sadness is a constant "friend". You find others
like you and you associate with them and you all "feed" each other.

Have you gotten to the point that you are tired of being in darkness?

Have you begun to realize you are starving for the spiritual things of God?

You came here seeking something-- could it be you are ready to work on
restoring your faith walk with the Lord?

 

[paul1149]

I have strayed away a lot from God in the last 2 years or so after being badly mistreated by Christians at Bible school. What I am finding these days (and maybe understanding was always the case) is that I am more attracted to the darkness than God.

Make sure you have forgiven those who hurt you. It may be that those wounds are festering, driving you away from God. When that happens, nature abhorring a vacuum, we find ourselves drawn to substitutes in order to quell our spiritual hunger.

Forgiveness is an ongoing process, and you may have to keep repeating it in prayer (see Mk 11.22-), but eventually it will stick. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to go back or trust those who offended you, but minimally you do have to make sure your own heart is clean. If you do that you should have no problem sensing the Lord's presence and seeing dark things as something you have no interest in.

When Christians fail, especially those in authority, we may lose faith in the church. And when that happens, we become susceptible to the destructive lures of our enemy. It's important to understand that God is still in control even when the church is a mess. He still sees and will reward those who wait on Him during the night watch.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

When I was mad at God for awhile I started listening to music with terrible lyrics about death and I would play violent games to take out my stress. What a mistake that was.

Only problem I face now is some christian don't like that I say I listen to secular music. They assume I mean music with lyrics. 95% of my music is from video games, movies...etc. Its usually just instrumental music that brings out emotions of joy for me. Most of the songs just make me things of heaven, God...etc.

 

[Pal Handy]

Hey guys, I am by no means a new Christian. I have strayed away a lot from God in the last 2 years or so after being badly mistreated by Christians at Bible school. What I am finding these days (and maybe understanding was always the case) is that I am more attracted to the darkness than God. I love rock, grunge, punk, metal music but absolutely cannot stand listening to Christian music as a hobby - i.e not when in a church when worshipping. It has no appeal to me and bores me. It is the same with pretty much every other area in my life. Why is this the case? I am always much more interested in depressing and dark things than God and happiness and such.

Yep I have been there and done that and guess what...
The world will mess you up, use you and abuse you and then
kick you to the curb after it has broken your spirit, health and
crushed you to dust...

There is no lasting benefit in the world as it all seems great at first until
it leads you along to its source of malcontented malevolent evil as
expressed in its purpose to bring you into destruction.

All who start down this road think they are in control but sooner or later
they all end up as empty shells that cannot see that they are blind and
deaf to what is true and love as they believe the lie of the benefits of yeilding to
the pride of life, the lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh.

There is a way that seems right to a man but the end of those ways are death.

All the stuff you are telling us was explained clearly in the parable of the prodical son
so you are not new to this and the results will either drive you to your knees in brokeness before
God or cause you to lose your soul.
There is no third choice for an outcome to the life of darkness you are drawn to...

ps Just because some of those who called themselve Christians abused you in some
way does not reflect upon Christ and His love for you and His desire that you
follow Him so that He can bring you safely through this life into His eternal life that He has for you.

If those who call themselve Christians mistreated you, what hope do you have of being treated
with love and respect by those who deny Christ and serve the devil?

Oh they will appear as angels of light and extract all that they want from you and
laugh at your corruption and your folly but don't count on them having any remorse over
expressing their dark desires to use and abuse you.

So are you sure you want to walk on the dark side, have you really thought this through?

 

[Girder of Loins]

Are you interested in their lifestyles, or just "dark" in general?

 

[Togetherly]

The thing which is a major problem for me is that it was Christians who I loved and trusted who broke my spirit and left me on the curb to die, pretty much. So this is why I feel there is no place for me with any group of Christians or their lifestyle.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

The thing which is a major problem for me is that it was Christians who I loved and trusted who broke my spirit and left me on the curb to die, pretty much. So this is why I feel there is no place for me with any group of Christians or their lifestyle.

Well let me ask you something, and this isn't meant to hurt you. Why are you a christian?

The answer is to serve the Lord. To lead others to Christ. Just live like Jesus and love like Jesus.

God loves you and you should love him. What other christians do to each other or even you isn't important. I think everyone her can say we've gotten upset by how other christians act or treat us. I know I have. But I realize now that I am older that stuff doesn't matter. They have to face God for how they treated me or others. Me? When I face God he will want to know what I did for him. If I said "I didn't do much because christians hurt me!". He will say "You were to do things for me out of love, not for those who are imperfect and of the flesh!".

Ignore those (without hate of course) who want to crush your spirit. I've grown a relatively thick skin to those people now. Mind you at one point I truly hated other christians who crushed me. I got so mad that I started to hate God to. It was a TERRIBLE time. It lead to things I don't even want to talk about it. So don't go down that route because of others. If you think them hurting you know hurts, when you go down the path I did, it hurts a million times worse.

Now I serve happily and do it for God. Let those who want to pick on me do so. I forgive them. I only care what God thinks of me. Although just to be safe, this doesn't mean ignore when a brother/sister gives reproving/advice.

 

[Girder of Loins]

Well a Christian lifestyle is one of love and compassion and mercy. We are to show others agapoe no matter what. So I would say that you have the wrong idea about it, which, sadly, is not uncommon. Lots of hate in the world.

 

[paul1149]

The thing which is a major problem for me is that it was Christians who I loved and trusted who broke my spirit and left me on the curb to die, pretty much. So this is why I feel there is no place for me with any group of Christians or their lifestyle.

Welcome to graduate level Christianity, where things don't always reflect the way they're supposed to be.

Trust me on this. You are at an inflection point. You can begin to doubt God's goodness or ability to save you, or you can look at the faults in the church, as deep as they are, and reckon it to God's longsuffering toward us. He is not going to let sin go unaccounted for, but His purpose is to save not destroy. And so He lets people, including Christians, make their choices and fail.

The critical decision for you is to go on with God anyway. Because this has stopped your forward movement and made you susceptible to these dark forces. Put your armor back on. Forgive those who failed to live up to your expectations and ask God to show you the way forward. You'll come out of this better than you went in - more mature, more wise, better able to minister. But you have to get straight with God on it. He is still on the throne, and He still dwells in perfect Light. Man's failings do not reflect back on Him, except to point to His mercy and longsuffering.

The alternative is to be open to the influence of these forces. You don't want to go there.

Therefore Jesus said to the Twelve, “You don’t want to go away too, do you? ”
Simon Peter answered, “Lord, who will we go to? You have the words of eternal life.
We have come to believe and know that You are the Holy One of God! ” -Jn 6.67-69​

 

[Pal Handy]

The thing which is a major problem for me is that it was Christians who I loved and trusted who broke my spirit and left me on the curb to die, pretty much. So this is why I feel there is no place for me with any group of Christians or their lifestyle.

So if those who try to follow Christ are capable of harming you,
what hope do you have for Godly treatment with those who deny Christ and
are looking out for themselve and what they can get to fulfill their own lusts,
no matter who it harms.

Besides, Christ never harmed you.

Why turn your back on Christ when it was imperfect people that harmed you.

You are clueless if you think the outcome will be any better if
you turn your back on Christ while you blame Him for the depravity of
man and then willingly pursue the very depravity that harmed you to begin with.

Your logic is faulty...

Sin has a way a blinding a person to the truth as it entices a person with
promises that it can never keep and sin will destroy any real chance
for true fulfillment as it leads you to death and ruin.

Don't blame Christians when you could have made the choice to rise above the standard you
expect from others and exceed the righteousness of those you say have used and abused you...

So what now? the abused becomes the abuser while blaming God for all
that is wrong in the world and then calling evil, good and good, evil.

Wake up and see the foolishness of what is coming out of your mouth...

 

[Eloy]

You need to get a new heart, a Christian's heart and mind. As long as your heart is not converted then you will serve the carnality of the flesh rather than the goodness of the Spirit. You see, once you have the New Heart and New Life from God, then you will hunger and thirst for the things of God. And being mistreated by "so-called" Christians in a church is no excuse for your own personal choosing of darkness over the Light. After you truly get saved from the darkness and have Christ in your heart, I believe that your appetites will change and you will come to love Christian music which praises the One whom has given you his New Life. Whenever the Tempter comes to tempt you into partaking of darkness, just say No. Like a drug pusher whom approaches you and tries to tempt you to partake of his drug, knowing that the end of that participation will be unrighteousness and sickness, and separation from goodness and God, and eventually death, so just say No. And choose Right over wrong, and Light over darkness, and Christ over sin. Amen? Amen.

 

[seeingeyes]

Hey guys, I am by no means a new Christian. I have strayed away a lot from God in the last 2 years or so after being badly mistreated by Christians at Bible school. What I am finding these days (and maybe understanding was always the case) is that I am more attracted to the darkness than God. I love rock, grunge, punk, metal music but absolutely cannot stand listening to Christian music as a hobby - i.e not when in a church when worshipping. It has no appeal to me and bores me. It is the same with pretty much every other area in my life. Why is this the case? I am always much more interested in depressing and dark things than God and happiness and such.

The thing which is a major problem for me is that it was Christians who I loved and trusted who broke my spirit and left me on the curb to die, pretty much. So this is why I feel there is no place for me with any group of Christians or their lifestyle.

It may be that you are simply grieving.

When we are betrayed and abandoned by folks who supposedly loved us, it hurts like hell. And cheery music with grateful themes just won't cut it when you feel like burning the whole world down for its injustice.

Read Job, read Psalms, read Lamentations, listen to the ancient Jewish hymns. Those people knew how to mourn, man. They didn't put on a happy face for God. They laid it out. They cried out to Him from the depths.

And He answered.

Go and do likewise, little sister.

God bless

 

[PureDose]

Hey guys, I am by no means a new Christian. I have strayed away a lot from God in the last 2 years or so after being badly mistreated by Christians at Bible school. What I am finding these days (and maybe understanding was always the case) is that I am more attracted to the darkness than God. I love rock, grunge, punk, metal music but absolutely cannot stand listening to Christian music as a hobby - i.e not when in a church when worshipping. It has no appeal to me and bores me. It is the same with pretty much every other area in my life. Why is this the case? I am always much more interested in depressing and dark things than God and happiness and such.

Really, the issue is whether or not you follow Jesus and keep his testimony.

Some people like fish, some people hate it. Some say fish is the Christian food to eat, some disagree.


But, if you believe that lamb is evil to eat and fish good to eat, and find you hate fish but love lamb -- then you are in a situation!

For me, I like lamb and fish, and see neither as evil.


Personally, I tend to be "dark", but not as in evil, but as in light, but hard to understand.

However, many other times I prefer to be outright blunt and direct and clearly "light".

Scripture said of Jesus "he opens his mouth in dark sayings", and that is what description is used for the parables of Jesus... does that mean the Holy Testimony of God is evil?

Obviously not, it means they are so bright, they are hard to see.

Or, more directly, it means they are couched in puzzle, in metaphor, and difficult to make out and understand.

But not "dark" as in "evil" dark.

...