At least I made it a month.

[Bevlina]

Sweetheart, I think you are feeling exactly the same way as thousands of other young ones in this day and age.
Just, be yourself at all times. Don't fake anything, just be yourself.
When you want to laugh, laugh. When you want to cry, cry.
What you are experiencing has been experienced by young ladies for centuries. Today, yep, there is support and understanding as it's recognised. But, know what? Lately I have been wondering about the ones who went through this 2 and 300 years ago.
Are you taking any medication Honey?

 

[Hidden face_Hurting heart]

Yeah...I've been on meds for about a month now. They haven't seemed to help at all. I don't know how to be myself Bev. I don't even know who that is really...well, I guess in a way I do. I'm myself when I'm writing this. I just don't know how to translate it to actions, and crying...I hardly ever cry. I can't. I want to, but I can't. I hate that. Yeah, it would be awful to go through this centuries ago. I went through it without any help for about 6 years, but it would still be worse.

 

[Bevlina]

Oh Hidden, I do wish you could cry. That is such a release.
Deep within you there must be some very solid grief Sweetie.

 

[Lexi/is/a/JesusFreak]

Well, I'm pretty new to SI...started it just before Christmas. I was addicted the first time I did it. Maybe it doesn't seem like my problem is serious because I'm new to it, and I made it pretty much all of February without it...I don't know. Maybe it isn't. I bruise and welt. Like I said, I made it almost all of February without it, but yesterday I gave in and it was worse than before. It was the first time I ever felt the need for ice afterwards...hopefully the last time as well. My arms hurt when they brush against my body and I know I'll be wearing long sleeves for at least a week. I know if I made it a month without once, I can do it again. I almost feel guilty for posting...I know that what I'm going through isn't near as much as some of the rest of you. I'm sorry about that. It doesn't seem fair to you for me to complain. Agh....confusion...

I'm doing better today than I have been though- not near as depressed as the past week. I think I'll be able to get back on track. One thing that was good was last night I was able to open up to the girls in my Bible study and tell them I have depression (even though I didn't say anything about SI). I've just started getting treatment for depression (no one knows I SI), but hopefully it will help with that as well.

-Hannah

im very proud of you. i have been addicted for about a year. recently ive stopped. i think im getting better. ive gone 3 months!
will be praying for u, God Bless.

 

[Hidden face_Hurting heart]

Great job Lexi! That's encouraging to hear! This week has been a lot better. I'm no longer allowed in my room. My mom thinks being in my room is making me more depressed, so now I'm only allowed to be in my room from ten at night to eight in the morning. Yeah, the lack of privacy will get on my nerves, but in a way I'm glad she did it. I really want to stop SIing, and this will definitely discourage me from it. I know that I could still find a way, but I don't want to. Yesterday I finally got to see a Christian counselor. She was absolutely wonderful: very understanding and easy to talk to. She reminds me of all of you- so supportive. I know that getting her for a counselor was something that God did. I never feel like I can talk with anyone, but with her it was different. I know it will still be challenging sometimes, but I think that i'll be able to open up and "be myself". Thank you Jesus! I just want to encourage all of you...if you don't have help, there's no shame in asking for it. I couldn't bring myself to ask, and I went for years without help until my parents saw something I wrote and intervened. God is truly taking care of it though. I know that some people say that you can get through anything with prayer and faith. That's what kept me alive through the years. I know that God has complete power in our lives. He can do anything! Still, sometimes he works through people and even medication. For a long time, I didn't want to accept that. I felt like my faith just wasn't strong enough, or I wasn't praying enough, or I was being punished with depression for my sins. In the last month or so though, even though at times I've still felt really bad and couldn't see the light, I know that God has been working in my life, putting people into it to support me and teach me- to help me deal with this. Please, if it's at all possible to get help...don't stay silent like I did. God truly will work it out. He even prepared my parents so they didn't flip out when they found out I had depression and was suicidal. God is SO awesome!!! I love all of you so much, and I'll be praying for you. I still have so far to go...but I think I'm on the path to getting there.

 

[Cat59]

for you Hannah- that's such a great post!

Lots of going up for you and your counsellor, as you work together!

 

[Talons]

You may believe your situtation isn't as bad as others, but your pain is real as everyone elses.

Well done for giving up for a month, that is an amazing achievement, especially if your addicted!

Stay strong, and i sorry i couldn't be much help
Chow!

 

[goldenviolet]

Hannah

...you have so many blessings! i very happy about your new counselor!