at it again

[Jenn]

Hello everyone,

I'm having such a tough time with my Mom since I decided to go to a different church (Baptist) when I was raised Catholic. I prayed on this decision for years before I actually left and I know God was leading me to a place that was better for me. Anyway, I think I was at peace for one day before everything came crashing down with my Mom. I told her a year ago next month and I am still receiving such terrible emails of doom and that I'm "in the wrong place" and that I'm doing such a disservice to my son etc. I am staying strong but it is so hard when it's your Mom telling you these things. I mean how could the best feeling in the world be wrong? Meaning I have never felt closer to God than right now, but it's brought nothing but tension and fighting between my Mom and I.

I feel like I'm being whittled away everytime we talk because she just pushes me and tells me I have to go back. I can't and don't want to just walk away from her, but I feel like her punching bag. My Dad and brother died 4 years ago also and there is no one to be a buffer for me, you know kind of talk to her. I have another brother but he pretty much stays out of these things. Anyway, she has all day and night to think only of this because she's also very sick.

I guess I just could use some prayers and any advice. I know I've asked for it here before and everyone was very helpful. I just can't believe it's been a year and she is still so focused on me going back, like I'm 12 years old (meanwhile I'm 30, have a stable wonderful marriage, a son, and a baby on the way). Thanks for listening, sometimes I feel so alone when she does this to me.

Love,
Jenn

 

[GINGER]

I AM SO SORRY! I FEEL YOUR PAIN (mothers)

"she has all DAY & night to think only of this. BECAUSE SHE'S ALSO SICK!" BE ENCOURAGED WE'LL GET YOU THROUGH. A COUPLE DAYS GO I WAS HANGING ON A VERY THIN THREAD. I FELT ALL-ALONE, BUT THSE AWESOME PEOPLE PULL ME THROUGH.
WE WIll DO THE SAME FOR YOU! "RIGHT EVERYONE YEA!

MY PRAYERS WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU.
"HEAVEN IS ON YOUR SIDE."

The one who died for us...is in
the presence of God at this very
moment sticking up for us.

LOVE hides OR covers a multitude! Return her e-mail with goodness and love and watch your feelings change!

 

[amie]

Hi Jenn,
Catholicism is not for everyone, and you are entitled to make your own decisions regarding your religious denomination. I too have had similar experiences with my mom, I am 31, and the only thing I can think to say to her when she is "nagging" me for not doing things her way is, I say to her "mom, you taught me how to think for myself and now that I do, you want me to stop"...that works for me everytime Our parents really do have our best interests at heart, but sometimes it is hard for them to understand when we want our lives to change direction and they are not ready...I want you to know I am praying for and with you...always! I am sorry to hear about your dad and your brother. I am praying for your mom too! with love and blessings and an infinite amount of peace!
Amie

 

[solo66 man]

This is my aadvise for a very difficult situation. First, you know you dont want to totally abandon your sick mom.
Second, you KNOW if you are where God wants you if you are obeying the Holy Spirit.
So, when you see her, dont talk about church and if she brings it up, tell her you are where God wants you, That you owe your life to Christ and not a church or denomination, that you love her very dearly, but you cannot go against God's will. And if she does not stop, you will leave. If she does not stop, leave with love. Then come back again, and everytime she brings it up, tell her the same thing and if she doesnt bring is up, stay, if she does, leave. At first she will be very angry at you for leaving. I think she will get over it. After awhile, she will stop altogether, and you will be able to visit in peace.
God Bless you.

 

[Remny]

Hey there Jenn. Heh heh, yeah parents can be a big head ache sometimes. There are so man denominations out there, much the same as there are people. I always remember a certain passage in the bible, and while I can't remember it's exact quoates. It goes to say that we as christians... well we are all part of the same body, and must work together with eachother, but that each part of the body works differently and has a different function. So we can't all do the same thing for us to work as a whole, some of us have very different pathes than others.

Remind your mother that christianity is not about telling other people what is right and wrong, it is about doing what God wants for oneself. In the end, I well know that people can be very stuborn, especially when they think your best interests on in mind.

Other people here post that you should not be confrontational, and table this subject. However if you want your mom to accept it, you can't put it in the background, talk to her like you would a good friend and don't hold back, she is after all your mother and should be able to hear anything from you. In time with communication I'm sure she will be able to understand what she so stubornly refuses to admit at this moment.

Also I will pray for you.

Well I would rather see you happy than sad, so please be cheery about things. Even with this going on for you, life is great, so smile for me

Later yo,

Benjamin Jeanotte

 

[Jenn]

Yep, Ginger you are right, these are wonderful people and exactly why I had to post last night! You all have me smiling this morning. I also got another email from my Mom explaining that she was on a high dose of medicine when she wrote what she did, I understand that but this happens ALL the time. She blasts me, then apologizes and it just feels abusive. But I do understand and I do always return her harsh emails and phone calls with love Ginger, you are so right about that!! I never want to hurt her. In fact the more she hurts me the more I feel for her because I know she just doesn't feel good. I also wish she would have some peace with God about my leaving the church--I think she is honestly worried about my soul.

Ginger, I hope things get better for you sweetie, I'm glad you found some help here too!!! Thank you so much for your kind words!

Amie, thank you so much for your prayers and I hope you have smooth times ahead with your Mom too--that is good advice you gave me.

Solo66, you are right about not bringing it up and believe me, I avoid it always but that doesn't feel right either, you know? Anyway, I hear you and that helps a lot.

Remny, you made me laugh! Thank you!! I hope you have a great day and smile too!

Thank you ALL so much, I can't even tell you what it means to open up the email and see that there are others out there that I could just tell exactly what I'm feeling. You made this day beautiful, thank you!

Love,
Jenn

 

[GINGER]

HI JENN!
I WANTED TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU. AND THE OTHERS.
JUST WONDERFUL YOU'RE FEELING BETTER!

JUST IN CASE YOU FORGET.
.IF GOD HAD S REFRIGERATOR, YOUR PICTURE WOULD BE ON IT.
.IF GOD HAD A WALLET, YOUR PHOTO WOULD BE IN IT.
.HE SENDS FLOWERS EVERY SPRING AND A SUNRISE EVERY MORNING.
.WHEN YOU WANT TO TALK, HE LISTEN.
.HE COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE AND YET HE CHOSE YOUR HEART.
.AND THAT CHRISTMAS GIFT HE SENT YOU IN bETHLEHEM?
FACE IT FRIEND , HE'S CRAZY ABOUT YOU!



AUTHOR UNKNOWN