At A Loss

[tigersnare]

Hey men and women, it's been a while since I've been here but I hope you are all doing great. I just had an interesting/disturbing experience last night pertaining to the girl I'm dating that is currenty rocking my boat pretty hard. I was hoping some of you men and women could respond, I need some help with this one.

http://www.christianforums.com/t3174294-really-confused-by-this.html

I posted in the Men's section because some of the content is more graphic than I'd want my future daughter/son to read under 18.

 

[JJB]

Pray. Call your pastor and see what he says.

The problem needs to be solved before a marriage, imho. If it is not dealt with prior, it becomes the elephant in the room that no one will admit is there. It's like starting out in a marriage where the bed is already defiled.

This issue touches so many lives and keeps many Christians paralyzed.

 

[edie19]

Pornography is a terrible thing and thanks to the internet it has access into almost every home. I'm not sure that the laws will ever catch up to the technology.

One thing I would say in your girlfriend's defense - in general women aren't as visual as men when it comes to sex - they're more likely to choose a romance novel than graphic pornography. So, the possibility does exist that someone else has accessed the pornography on her computer - obviously I can't speak to that since I don't know how many folks use her computer.

That said - you absolutely can't ignore this. Pornography is harmful for so many reasons - one of which is the fact that it degrades women. If your girlfriend is actively viewing pornography I'd have to wonder how much respect she has for herself. There could be some serious issues there. I'd recommend that both of you meet with your pastor to discuss this. You can't just pretend it didn't happen - because if it is her doing the viewing she probably won't stop on her own. She needs support, prayers and encouragement to stop.

I will share a story my pastor tells. He has a friend (not that it matters but I think he was in the ministry) who had a major problem with on-line pornography. My pastor spent time counseling and praying with his friend. He also set up a password on his friend's computer so that everytime his friend accessed the internet he had to type in the password. Then my pastor shared the password - seems like it defeats the purpose I know. But the password my pastor chose in and of itself helped resolve the issue. Imagine every time a person went to look at their pornographic sites they had to type out the words "I hate Jesus." Pretty good deterrant if you ask me.

edie