Asking for her hand.....

[benedictine]

So, anyone have any advice for the dreaded* "asking for her hand talk"?


* I say dreaded possibly because my fiancees's father will want to talk about it.

 

[Teufelhund]

It would depend have you talked to her about it yet? Because if you two have decided on something then the tone of the conversation should be completely different than if you haven't..

 

[Teufelhund]

Believe it or not I was in exactly the same shoes as you are, now that I have read your other posts regarding the matter, and my fiancee and I were already engaged and just needed to announce it, but we had to at least appear to be asking. So what I said was something along the lines of: "Well you're daughter and I have been dating for some time and were thinking about making this arrangement permanent, but we'd like your blessing on it..." Which makes it clear that you're seeking his approval without having to ask him for her hand which she's already given you.

 

[RobinRedbreast]

Believe it or not I was in exactly the same shoes as you are, now that I have read your other posts regarding the matter, and my fiancee and I were already engaged and just needed to announce it, but we had to at least appear to be asking. So what I said was something along the lines of: "Well you're daughter and I have been dating for some time and were thinking about making this arrangement permanent, but we'd like your blessing on it..." Which makes it clear that you're seeking his approval without having to ask him for her hand which she's already given you.

Very smoothe and suave, I like it

 

[joyouspirit]

Since both of us were in our mid-life crisis ages , it was more of not asking for my hand in marriage, per se, but it was more of what does my husband has to offer for me and my children.

It was a very serious talk with my siblings since my mom and dad had passed away. My eldest brother was as strict as ever. Having been in a failed marriage, being the youngest, I know they wouldn't want me hurt again.

Go with your heart, and Teuful (?) did a good job on it.

God bless!

 

[Alexandrah]

Take them out to dinner to ask. Buying them food and drinks softens them up and they will probably figure out what you're trying to do before you actually do it. It shows a willingness to impress them and a respect for them.

 

[peanutbutter12]

It's really not as bad as we make it out to be, especially if you have a good relationship with her family. He joked around with me a bit when I asked, but he knew it was coming anyway and I knew he was ok with it. They are just looking out for their daughters best interest and making sure you will be able to do your job and care for her once you are married.

I swear, I'm going to write a book on this soon... lol