I agree with
@lily00 - there is a far deeper psychological issue going on.
Trauma survivors "vicariously reliving" their trauma as post effect of PTSD; usually do so because they are trying to reconcile the experience. It's like a problem they are trying to solve; to make themselves react differently to the thoughts / emotions / memories that bring them pain. That does not usually entail enjoying other's suffering. That's a different issue.
Personally, if I found myself in the same thought / emotional pattern; I'd worry that my conscience was seared.
@MaryNabil - since your worried about this though; that's a good thing. That would be a sign that your conscience isn't seared.
I know quite a bit about PTSD, but I don't know much about sadistic mentality, what causes it or how to overcome it. It's not something I've studied.
I do know this though; that even in terms of secular psychology, any behavior or thought pattern a person desires to overcome; they can do so, if they want badly enough to do what ever it takes to accomplish this.
Now how long it takes depends on how deeply the pattern is entrenched and the extent of over all dysfunctional patterns exist. Sadists commonly have other personality issues. Narcissism is common, due to a lack of empathy for other's pain. The difficulty there, is that narcissists tend not to be able to see their own narcissism. And you can't fix what you don't acknowledge.
Now taking for granted that you are telling the truth that you're female and you are living in Egypt; people who face a lot of oppression and see a lot of violence in society around them, can come to a place of "learned helplessness". From there the struggle becomes; am I going to be a victim, a perpetrator or something else? People who face those types of realities every day and find themselves "taking pleasure in other's pain" may be doing this as a means of trying to cope with the circumstances of life in the society around them that they can not change. If that's the case; a conscious choice needs to be made of "How am I going to deal with my life circumstances."
Regardless though, this can be said for anyone facing difficult circumstances even if in their society or culturally speaking, they are as "free" as they are ever going to be. Part of coping with the struggle though is in acknowledging that none of us are really free in this life anyways.
So if you want to overcome this; you probably need some time to contemplate your own thought process to know what's going on inside your heart. Pray to God to help you figure it out. You may never answer all the reasons why; but the goal is not to solve all your problems at once. The goal is to get from point A to point B. The journey of 1000 miles starts with the first step.