Ask a straight man

[shinbits]

I'm starting this thread to try and clear up any misconceptions about heterosexuals.

NOTE: I am not the voice of all straight men; we are all just as much a bag of trail-mix as much as another other group of people. But I do know a lot about the hetero-community, and will do my best to represent the majority of views.

With that in mind, ask away.

 

[JackKerouac]

Boxers or briefs?

 

[Chesterton]

I'm starting this thread to try and clear up any misconceptions about heterosexuals.

This might be interesting. Offhand I can't think of any misconceptions about heterosexuals. Maybe I'll learn something.

 

[Archer93]

I can think of an assumption that is still doing the rounds.
So-

As a heterosexual man, do you feel threatened in any way by homosexual men?
What does the phrase 'gay panic' mean to you?

 

[Caitlin.ann]

Why on earth do you like women? I can hardly stand them myself!

 

[Jase]

At what point in your life did you choose to be attracted to women instead of men?

 

[Chesterton]

I can think of an assumption that is still doing the rounds.
So-

As a heterosexual man, do you feel threatened in any way by homosexual men?

I don't.

What does the phrase 'gay panic' mean to you?

Never heard the phrase. Several would-be jokes come to mind though.

Why on earth do you like women? I can hardly stand them myself!

The million dollar question!

 

[Chesterton]

At what point in your life did you choose to be attracted to women instead of men?

Age 9, when I saw Raquel Welch in "10,000 Years B.C."

 

[quatona]

Did your parents spank you?

 

[Caitlin.ann]

Did your parents spank you?

Mine did.

 

[Chesterton]

Did your parents spank you?

Not hard enough.

 

[BigBadWlf]

How do you deal with the fact that once teh gays get the right to marry thus changing the definition of marriage you will be forced to divorce your wife and marry a man?

 

[PassionFruit]

Are you a part of the heterosexual agenda, if so, why are you trying to force your lifestyle on America?

 

[RocketRed]

To define: gay panic was the defense used by the defendants in the Matthew Shepherd trial. It means that they were afraid of being hit on or otherwise any advances made by a male that they killed him in a pre-emptive panicked defense.

Also: a very smart man named Shmaul Shmameron penned a study absolutely beyond repute that says that straight people barely have time for anything except for constant orgiastic pleasures of the flesh. And that they kick puppies and club seals. Care to comment?

 

[Supernaut]

I am not sure I want hetersexual marriage in my Church. Next thing you know, we'll be forced to celebrate their "straight parades". Last thing we need is licentious behavior in the Church! Say no to "Breedfest 2010"!!!

 

[david_x]

Boxers or briefs?

Boxer Briefs.

Why on earth do you like women? I can hardly stand them myself!

The right girl is warm, and completely crazy. It's a very attractive combination.

At what point in your life did you choose to be attracted to women instead of men?

Preconscious, in many cases.

Did your parents spank you?

Yes, often.

To define: gay panic was the defense used by the defendants in the Matthew Shepherd trial. It means that they were afraid of being hit on or otherwise any advances made by a male that they killed him in a pre-emptive panicked defense.

Also: a very smart man named Shmaul Shmameron penned a study absolutely beyond repute that says that straight people barely have time for anything except for constant orgiastic pleasures of the flesh. And that they kick puppies and club seals. Care to comment?

Well I don't kick puppies, very often.

 

[Mling]

What can I do to prevent my children from becoming like this?

 

[Supernaut]

What can I do to prevent my children from becoming like this?

Pray as hard as you can every night that Jesus will keep your kids on the path of homosexuality. Pray that they do not stray from that rightous path!

If by chance one of yours has been brainwashed into living this sinful heterosexual lifestyle, do not be afraid to have them commited to my new conversion therapy group "Queer as a Rainbow". We use electro shock therapy.

 

[david_x]

What can I do to prevent my children from becoming like this?

Lower testosterone in the womb, last I heard.

 

[BigBadWlf]

What can I do to prevent my children from becoming like this?

Make sure his father isn’t in the picture and insist the schools he attends provides tolerance instruction….apparently this combination makes people gay