Ashamed of hurtful things I’ve said to people

[pantingdeer]

When I was at school I experienced people making fun of me for my appearance and it definitely affected my confidence as I grew up. I used to look in the mirror all the time and hate how I looked. I would look at surgery online to see what I could do to fix myself and even contacted one of them. Not only this but one time even my own dad called me ugly. That hurt me so much.
Having experienced this myself, I know how hurtful words can be and so I also feel a lot of shame and guilt over things I have said myself.

When I started middle school I remember saying something mean about a girl’s appearance and made fun of it a couple of times in front of people. This person also made fun of me back and as I mentioned above people had also been mean to me, but this doesn’t make me feel any better about myself. For the rest of my time at school I think there was definitely some tension between us and no doubt things I said contributed to that.

Because of saying hurtful things I feel ashamed of myself. I have seen this person in public a few times and we just ignored each other. I think they did their best to stay away from me

I feel very down that I can’t go back and not have been mean to someone.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

When I was at school I experienced people making fun of me for my appearance and it definitely affected my confidence as I grew up. I used to look in the mirror all the time and hate how I looked. I would look at surgery online to see what I could do to fix myself and even contacted one of them. Not only this but one time even my own dad called me ugly. That hurt me so much.
Having experienced this myself, I know how hurtful words can be and so I also feel a lot of shame and guilt over things I have said myself.

When I started middle school I remember saying something mean about a girl’s appearance and made fun of it a couple of times in front of people. This person also made fun of me back and as I mentioned above people had also been mean to me, but this doesn’t make me feel any better about myself. For the rest of my time at school I think there was definitely some tension between us and no doubt things I said contributed to that.

Because of saying hurtful things I feel ashamed of myself. I have seen this person in public a few times and we just ignored each other. I think they did their best to stay away from me

I feel very down that I can’t go back and not have been mean to someone.

I think we've all said or done things in the past that we regret as we mature. The real sign of maturity is realizing such things and not doing them anymore. I still know people who find pleasure in mocking others based on appearance or the likes, even as adults and tell them frequently to grow up.

But God doesn't want you to feel down about it, repentance maybe, but not legitimate depression. Offer your sorrow to God, ask for grace and strength to do better in the future then take what you know, and use it to make yourself better with the help of the Holy Spirit. Instead of speaking hurt, speak life and mercy. Instead of judging, offer love. Instead of bitterness, offer grace. You got this!

 

[Petros2015]

I feel very down that I can’t go back and not have been mean to someone.

It's OK; if we don't come to the realization of how we've hurt people, we keep doing it.
Once we come to that realization, we can go forward being kind. It took me a loooooong
time to realize this but

"we can not harm others without harming ourselves; we can not harm ourselves without harming others"

Keep it with you, it will do you (and others) well

 

[pantingdeer]

I think we've all said or done things in the past that we regret as we mature. The real sign of maturity is realizing such things and not doing them anymore. I still know people who find pleasure in mocking others based on appearance or the likes, even as adults and tell them frequently to grow up.

But God doesn't want you to feel down about it, repentance maybe, but not legitimate depression. Offer your sorrow to God, ask for grace and strength to do better in the future then take what you know, and use it to make yourself better with the help of the Holy Spirit. Instead of speaking hurt, speak life and mercy. Instead of judging, offer love. Instead of bitterness, offer grace. You got this!

Thank you for your words. I find it hard knowing that someone would try to avoid me if they saw me because of something I said. I guess I have to move on.

 

[pantingdeer]

It's OK; if we don't come to the realization of how we've hurt people, we keep doing it.
Once we come to that realization, we can go forward being kind. It took me a loooooong
time to realize this but

"we can not harm others without harming ourselves; we can not harm ourselves without harming others"

Keep it with you, it will do you (and others) well

Do I try put it behind me or should I do something about it?

 

[Petros2015]

Do I try put it behind me or should I do something about it?

Was it a long time ago? They nearby? Maybe see if you can find their address and send them an honest letter of apology or knock on their door and give it in person. They might appreciate either, and you can feel better either way hopefully.

 

[pantingdeer]

Was it a long time ago? They nearby? Maybe see if you can find their address and send them an honest letter of apology or knock on their door and give it in person. They might appreciate either, and you can feel better either way hopefully.

10 years ago

 

[Petros2015]

10 years ago

Yeah look for them. A note or meeting might give you some peace. If you can't find them, write what you would say and give it to God.

 

[VeronicaVeronica]

If you run into them again, apologize. Even if the apology is not accepted, you will be free, having owned up to the wrong done.

 

[axydavid]

10 years ago

There is a saying that goes like this:
Hurt people hurt people.

It is as funny as it is true.
It is time to love yourself. It is time to look yourself in the mirror and accept who you are and love yourself. The bible says: love your neighbor as yourself. You can never love somebody if you hate yourself. Move on from the useless past and love yourself.

If God loves you who are you to disagree? If Jesus died for you who are you to argue with his decision? Accept that you were hurt, and move on. Heal yourself by loving yourself.

When did shame do anything good for you? Will it save you from the hellfire? Did it give you an opportunity to become somebody in life?

Is your insecurity going to repair the mistakes that you did? So start by loving yourself, everything else will flow naturally, including you apologizing to that person for hurting her.

Here's a video that I think will help: