-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
As A Christian
- Thread starter ~Beauty_from_Pain~
- Start date
ThyNeighbor
Member
If we were to discover that our spouce was gay and he didn't want a divorce (for whatever reason) are we supposed to stay married to them? I know, weird question.
PS. Is this question ok to ask here? If not, please move...
I have a very good friend who is bisexual and has been married to a woman for 10 years. It was probably about 7 years ago that he came to the realization that he had homosexual attractions. Hed had them all his life but it wasnt until he started questioning it that he understood what it meant.
He came out to his wife and at first she was, understandably, very upset. But he assured her that he loved her and had no intentions of acting upon his homosexual attractions. He told her that he was the same man that she married but instead of just being attracted to women he also has attractions to men. When he took her as his wife he made a commitment to her and that doesnt change whoever he might feel attractions to. They both have said that they are closer now and that their marriage is even stronger because of his honesty.
While in this instance the result was a positive one, that is not usually the case. Unfortunately many men feel that they can not admit their homosexuality even to themselves. They get married because its what is expected of them, in order to avert suspicion, and many times hoping that it will cure them of their homosexual attractions. It almost always ends in pain for all parties. Its sad that someone is forced to deny themselves of who they really are. Living a lie always ends in disaster.
Upvote
0
B
BigBadWlf
Guest
Why would one remain in a sham marriage?If we were to discover that our spouce was gay and he didn't want a divorce (for whatever reason) are we supposed to stay married to them? I know, weird question.
PS. Is this question ok to ask here? If not, please move...
Upvote
0
fevoldj2
Senior Member
- Apr 17, 2005
- 1,023
- 7
- 35
- Faith
- Atheist
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Libertarian
Oh yes, marriage is all about sex. What are you all thinking? By the way, one is gay or homsexual based solely on whether or not he is attracted to members of the same gender. Sex is not a requirement for being gay or being a homosexual. They are the same thing.
It makes little sense to make such a distinction.
Who cares what the orientation of the partner is? Why make such a huge deal out of small things such as these? If the couple is in a loving relationship, something like this should not matter, and it is a show of immense trust and openness to reveal this information.
Please do not use this as yet another thread to spread hate toward homosexuals. To NewGuy: No, you have not directly attacked anyone, so don't even try to defend yourself here. The word propoganda has a very negative connotation, so yes, your response was an attack due to the choice in words.
It makes little sense to make such a distinction.
Who cares what the orientation of the partner is? Why make such a huge deal out of small things such as these? If the couple is in a loving relationship, something like this should not matter, and it is a show of immense trust and openness to reveal this information.
Please do not use this as yet another thread to spread hate toward homosexuals. To NewGuy: No, you have not directly attacked anyone, so don't even try to defend yourself here. The word propoganda has a very negative connotation, so yes, your response was an attack due to the choice in words.
Upvote
0
LoveAlways
Regular Member
Oh, but it's okay. Watching a movie with murder, drugs, fornication, adultery, women running around in skimpy bathing suits?..... all okay, perhaps even encouraged if you're a good ole' boy. Watching a movie with gays in it?.... you're promoting sin!
Upvote
0
LoveAlways
Regular Member
I don't want to be patronizing, but I realize that it's going to come off that way. At 17 I probably would have said the same thing. But marriage isn't just about being super best friends and living under the same roof. Whether it seems enlightened thinking or not, sex and sexual attraction is a part of marriage. The alternative is unfair to everyone involved.
So as much as I love my husband, I would leave him if he were gay, after giving him a few choice words for waiting 6 years to tell me.
Upvote
0
fevoldj2
Senior Member
- Apr 17, 2005
- 1,023
- 7
- 35
- Faith
- Atheist
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Libertarian
I understand that you have a much different perspective than I do, being married yourself, but then again, we are different people. Everyone will respond differently. If it haden't been noticed before, and never was an issue, then how would anything change? Can intimiacy be faked?
Upvote
0
Well, if the children are old enough to deal with such things, then I see no reason why they shouldn't be told. Being homosexual is nothing to be ashamed of but it was wrong of the husband to marry the woman in the first place.
What about the husbands dishonesty at marriage? Should she be forced to be alone, physically, for the rest of her life? Why should she suffer for his indiscretion?
Upvote
0
PinkTulip
Senior Member
- Dec 12, 2005
- 285
- 29
- Country
- Canada
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Lutheran
- Marital Status
- Married
I am very against divorce; I think it is probably one of the worst things that has happened to society. However, what if your spouse started cheating on you? It would be great if they decide to remain celibate, but....I am just asking because I know a woman who went through this - her husband starting sneaking out in the middle of the night to his boyfriend...
Upvote
0
LoveAlways
Regular Member
We don't have children. If we did, I imagine we would continue to be co-parents and would explain to them the circumstances when they got old enough.
Marriage vows only count when there is a marriage. When your husband lied to you about being straight and then it turns out he has no romantic interest in you whatsoever, that's not a marriage. It's fraud.
Upvote
0
UberLutheran
Well-Known Member
I think I can answer this one for NewGuy:
"I don't have to watch it I already know what it's about and that's good enough for me!"
Remember: I have hyper-Calvinists all over my extended family (and I used to be one), so I already know all the stock answers.
(Family reunions are a trip: you should see my hyper-Calvinist relatives all trying to "out-righteous" each other!
)
Upvote
0
Similar threads
