As A Christian

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

If we were to discover that our spouce was gay and he didn't want a divorce (for whatever reason) are we supposed to stay married to them? I know, weird question.

PS. Is this question ok to ask here? If not, please move...

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

To be honest, I wouldn't care whether or not he wanted a divorce, I would be leaving anyway. I would not stay married to someone who was not attracted to me just because I was a woman.

 

[KittyCatCurledUp]

Well.....no, I wouldn't think so because the relationship would be a lie for both of you, and thus not fair to either. How can you work towards growth in the intimate way that is the ideal for marrieds when there is a complete emotional and physical disjunct? It goes beyond emotional attachment, really, into issues of identity and trust.

 

[wanderingone]

I don't think it's a weird question. Personally I would imagine the spouse would have already had some experiences outside the marriage which is adultery, and I see no reason why a divorce would not be acceptable regardless of the gender of the person they committed adultery with.

If they hadn't acted on it in my opinion they would not have entered into the marriage honestly and a divorce would not be wrong, however I don't know how those who think divorce is always wrong could agree with that unless they agree that divorce is okay for reasons other than adultery.

 

[bubblefish]

Thread moved from 'Women's Discussion' to 'Debates on homosexuality'​

 

[Onlythingavailable]

I don't think a divorce should be automatic because he has homosexual feelings. I think it's very situational. Does he still love you? What does he intend to do? What kind of future are you looking at?

I don't think anyone makes the choice to have homosexual feelings, even though I believe acting on them is sinful, and that's why I think automatically labeling him as the bad guy is wrong. But as I said, I think this is hugely situational.

 

[BAFRIEND]

First, as far as the question posed about how one who is against divorce in all situations... , the arguement would be for an anulment, ie, the marriage was never valid in the first place. This could be due to the untrue feelings or misguidings of the homosexual partner.

That being said, I would state that sexual attraction and sex in and of itself is not the purpose of marriage. Love is. If this man is a homosexual ( I make a distinction between gay and homosexual which I will explain bvelow) and he is commited to the marriage, the spouse, and children I would say make a go of it.

If this homosexual leads a gay lifestyle, ie sleeping with other men or proliferating scandal, then that is a whole new ball game. Not only is it adultery against the wife and cheating the children, it could also be dangerous, in that case, the relationship should be terminated.

Homosexuality is an orientation and gay is a lifestyle (sin).

 

[ReformedChapin]

If we were to discover that our spouce was gay and he didn't want a divorce (for whatever reason) are we supposed to stay married to them? I know, weird question.

PS. Is this question ok to ask here? If not, please move...

Weirdest question ever. What if aliens turn them gay and use a gay turning machine? Would we still have to stay with them....?

Ok my point is ...I don't get it if they are "gay" why would they stay with you? Unless homosexuality is just a sin they can work on (which it is) then you should stay toghether.

 

[BAFRIEND]

Weirdest question ever. What if aliens turn them gay and use a gay turning machine? Would we still have to stay with them....?

Ok my point is ...I don't get it if they are "gay" why would they stay with you? Unless homosexuality is just a sin they can work on (which it is) then you should stay toghether.

if they are gay and want to stay with them it could be due to a mommy fixation. have you ever seen What About Raymond ? Well, that guy is definitely gay and obviously has a mommy fixation.

One of my previous supervisors had a sex change and he was married to one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on. He said he married her because she was always the woman he wanted to be.

 

[LANTERN]

The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity. (Proverbs 11)

 

[Brieuse]

For many many years I considered keeping my orientation a secret. Up until last year, only myself, my ex pastor, and an ex accountability partner knew about me. I was considering getting married, or at least finding a girlfriend to start with.

It's only a movie, but Brokeback Mountain echoes the lives of many frustrated men who are living a lie.

Personally, if I were to consider getting into the "pretend" lifestyle again, I believe I'd end up hurting too many people. It's not in my nature to go behind my partner's (in this case a wife) back to seek gratification, however I can understand why many people would. I'm not agreeing with it, but I understand.

In my opinion, in any kind of relationship, if a partner commits adultery, it should be a sign for the other to run in the other direction very quickly.

Adultery indicates a breakdown in a relationship, lack of communication, and proof that things are not working out.

 

[ReformedChapin]

if they are gay and want to stay with them it could be due to a mommy fixation. have you ever seen What About Raymond ? Well, that guy is definitely gay and obviously has a mommy fixation.

One of my previous supervisors had a sex change and he was married to one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on. He said he married her because she was always the woman he wanted to be.

So "HE" used to be a she? :o And ended up with a hot babe he wanted to be? Dear Lord.

 

[ReformedChapin]

For many many years I considered keeping my orientation a secret. Up until last year, only myself, my ex pastor, and an ex accountability partner knew about me. I was considering getting married, or at least finding a girlfriend to start with.

It's only a movie, but Brokeback Mountain echoes the lives of many frustrated men who are living a lie.

Personally, if I were to consider getting into the "pretend" lifestyle again, I believe I'd end up hurting too many people. It's not in my nature to go behind my partner's (in this case a wife) back to seek gratification, however I can understand why many people would. I'm not agreeing with it, but I understand.

In my opinion, in any kind of relationship, if a partner commits adultery, it should be a sign for the other to run in the other direction very quickly.

Adultery indicates a breakdown in a relationship, lack of communication, and proof that things are not working out.

Hey that gay propaganda movie does wonders doesn't it?

 

[BAFRIEND]

So "HE" used to be a she? :o And ended up with a hot babe he wanted to be? Dear Lord.

No the other way 'round.

(S)he used to be a he, he was married but divorced the beautiful women (even stole her wardrobe) then got the sex change and Larry became Lori. The company I worked for gave him 5 years severance pay to get rid of it.

 

[BAFRIEND]

For many many years I considered keeping my orientation a secret. Up until last year, only myself, my ex pastor, and an ex accountability partner knew about me. I was considering getting married, or at least finding a girlfriend to start with.

It's only a movie, but Brokeback Mountain echoes the lives of many frustrated men who are living a lie.

Personally, if I were to consider getting into the "pretend" lifestyle again, I believe I'd end up hurting too many people. It's not in my nature to go behind my partner's (in this case a wife) back to seek gratification, however I can understand why many people would. I'm not agreeing with it, but I understand.

In my opinion, in any kind of relationship, if a partner commits adultery, it should be a sign for the other to run in the other direction very quickly.

Adultery indicates a breakdown in a relationship, lack of communication, and proof that things are not working out.

Living a lie is when you deny God's Law and the laws of nature.

 

[Brieuse]

Living a lie is when you deny God's Law and the laws of nature.

Yes, partly. But living a lie can also be a Christian running around with blinkers on.

 

[ReformedChapin]

No the other way 'round.

(S)he used to be a he, he was married but divorced the beautiful women (even stole her wardrobe) then got the sex change and Larry became Lori. The company I worked for gave him 5 years severance pay to get rid of it.

ay caramba!

 

[Brieuse]

Hey that gay propaganda movie does wonders doesn't it?

lol, a gay propaganda movie.

Call it what you want, it accurately portrayed the lives of many men.

 

[ReformedChapin]

lol, a gay propaganda movie.

Call it what you want, it accurately portrayed the lives of many men.

You mean how they should enphesize ramanticism rather than biblical truth? I completely agree. Oh wait...

 

[Brieuse]

You mean how they should enphesize ramanticism rather than biblical truth? I completely agree. Oh wait...

have you watched the movie?