Are you INFJ? And does that mean that INFJs get along well with each other?

[Godlovesmetwo]

But the fact that your father has to rub it in, means he has some insecurities he wont admit to you. or that he has managed to hide from you.
I know I still have my older "useful" siblings on a bit of a pedestal but before they were way up on high. We need to find our confidence in something so that we don't feel so small.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Hey, I actually wish I could point you to some Bible reading to help you. Maybe you can do that. one that provides re-assurance that everything will work out for both of us.

 

[Korean-American Christian]

But the fact that your father has to rub it in, means he has some insecurities he wont admit to you. or that he has managed to hide from you. I know I still have my older "useful" siblings on a bit of a pedestal but before they were way up on high. We need to find our confidence in something so that we don't feel so small.

You are correct.

My father is a very insecure person. He was emotionally abused and verbally abused by his mother (my grandmother).

My father attempts to hide his insecurities through arrogance, bravado and anger....

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

You are correct.

My father is a very insecure person. He was emotionally abused and verbally abused by his mother (my grandmother).

My father attempts to hide his insecurities through arrogance, bravado and anger....

You need to get some nurturing now and avoid contact with him. Is that possible? Otherwise he will just reinforce your low self-esteem.

 

[Korean-American Christian]

Hey, I actually wish I could point you to some Bible reading to help you. Maybe you can do that. one that provides re-assurance that everything will work out for both of us.

2 Corinthians 4:17New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)
For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison

Romans 8:18-28 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)
I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us. For creation awaits with eager expectation the revelation of the children of God; for creation was made subject to futility, not of its own accord but because of the one who subjected it, in hope that creation itself would be set free from slavery to corruption and share in the glorious freedom of the children of God. We know that all creation is groaning in labor pains even until now; and not only that, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, we also groan within ourselves as we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. For in hope we were saved. Now hope that sees for itself is not hope. For who hopes for what one sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance.


In the same way, the Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit itself intercedes with inexpressible groanings. And the one who searches hearts knows what is the intention of the Spirit, because it intercedes for the holy ones according to God’s will.


We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

 

[Korean-American Christian]

You need to get some nurturing now and avoid contact with him. Is that possible? Otherwise he will just reinforce your low self-esteem.

In the near future, I am planning to move out of my father's house so that I can attend graduate school in another state (Oregon)

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Some people need others to maintain low-self esteem in order for them to maintain their high self-esteem. Their egos need to be massaged daily. Its a kind of narcissistic habit.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Anyway again, I send my prayers and really hope that someday this current problem will make sense in the light of future happiness.

 

[ChristianFromKazakhstan]

All these labels are just that, labels. Each human being is so unique, I don't think any label serves them justly. But you can throw me into the same general pile of INFJ-ish people.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

awesome Bible quotes by the way!

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

All these labels are just that, labels. Each human being is so unique, I don't think any label serves them justly. But you can throw me into the same general pile of INFJ-ish people.

They have limited value I admit but they give us something to talk about on CF, which is of some interest to me.

 

[ChristianFromKazakhstan]

They have limited value I admit but they give us something to talk about on CF, which is of some interest to me.

True, true. Do you have problems being understood by people, you mention being annoying in debates to some, or to be accepted? Hard, no? Or relatively easy to blend in?

 

[Korean-American Christian]

Anyway again, I send my prayers and really hope that someday this current problem will make sense in the light of future happiness.

Thank you for praying for me

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

True, true. Do you have problems being understood by people, you mention being annoying in debates to some, or to be accepted? Hard, no? Or relatively easy to blend in?

I will make an illogical assertion that I know sounds weird but it holds some emotional truth for me. Guess I need an example.

 

[david.d]

I'm the IN and my wife is the FJ. I'm overly analytical and logical, she is emotional and fair. We seem to make a good team. People seem to think I'm slow or cold when they meet me, but eventually they figure out I'm just processing everything, even the things they haven't noticed yet. I've learned that God gives us talents that tend to come with what other people may see as flaws (they aren't, its a balance). The balances just tend to stand out more. Because of that, I've learned to love people for what they are and not what I want to expect or for what they aren't. It hurts me when people seem to hate themselves, because they just haven't figured themselves out yet. On the other hand, my wife calls me a robot, because she can't see (or accept maybe) that it's hard for me to be emotional when I'm using my emotions and logic to figure things out. That's also why people think I'm cold at first, but once I have you figured out I know the you whom I love and not just how you appear.

That's me. I do have a big heart and I can write much better than I can speak my emotions. I love to write, because it makes my mind slow down and gives me a break from the constant analysis. Sometimes, though, my emotions take over when I'm writing and I get very passionate, so I apologize in advance if anyone here gets on the opposing end of that. I'm not sorry, but I will apologize

I don't really have any self esteem, because I know that on the balance of things and talents, no one is actually better than anyone else. Miraculously, I do have confidence, which according to psychology isn't possible without self esteem, but they don't take God into account.

All of God's children are amazing and there are so many varieties of us. That in itself is beautiful. We are the children of Love and I pray we can all embrace that someday.

 

[Paidiske]

Another INFJ here. I'll let my eccentricity speak for itself.

Paul, there's a book that's probably out of print now, but it's an interesting read if you can get hold of a copy: Wake Up the Sun: An Exploration of Personality Types and Spiritual Growth by Margaret Dwyer. She looks at how spirituality can be different for, say, introverts vs. extroverts and so forth, and makes some suggestions both for working from our strengths and strengthening our weaknesses.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

This will probably be a long post so I apologize. But its not often I find another INFJ to talk about this stuff with. At least if I can remember right I am a INFJ.

Pretty much everything that describes them online is me. Most people know I am shy, laid back...etc. And they tend to make some assumptions like "What a loser, he sits quietly during a party! or "Why doesn't he ever talk to people?"....etc. But people who get to know me see my layers peeling back as time goes one. At which time they usually are like (BTW not bragging or anything) "Your so quiet that I never knew just how deep you are inside. Your sensitive, your smart, your observant/..." etc. Actually when I was around 8 some elderly woman at the church said the same thing. She said I was like a 60 year old wise man living in a childs body. Of course at the time I didn't realy understand what she meant.

I don't like big social events. I usually sit alone in the back of the party. And I'm fine with that. I don't like attention. I don't like to brag. I have empathy, which I think is much better than sympathy since you actually "feel" what they are. I'll go to a persons funeral (like with my parents) of someone I don't know and before I even get out of the car I get teary. Its like I can feel the sadness in the air. Its hard to explain. If someone tells me about something going on I can feel their pain (even if they are trying to hide it) and I get emotional. Which triggers them and they get emotional. Which usually ends up with a exchange of hugs. I think this is why I have more female friends, they tend to be more emotional then men who are taught not to really show emotion. Which is why growing up kids thought maybe I wasn't straight because I didn't act manly. That and I didn't care about sports or having muscles or whatever manly men do.

I care alot about people. I have a very big heart. My worst enemies can hurt me and if right after they got hit by a car I'd be there helping them and sharing whatever emotion they are going through. Which usually tends to make people who are mad at me change their emotion once they see I'm just a giant teddy bear who isn't looking for trouble/won't fight with them. I can sense things about people. Maybe part of it is also my gift of discernment. Not sure. For example recently at our church I went to a bible study and one guy was reading from a book and his wife asked a question. But something about her I could feel inside. Like she was having a extremely hard time with something. As if she was struggling as a christian due to some kind of pain. Some hurt. I wanted to ask after but sometimes it scares people who don't understand how I know such things.

Well this Sunday (about 2 weeks later) at church the husband (who is an elder) got up to the mic during the closing/prayers and said he and his wife have been struggling for a month or so with something very hard that they didn't want to talk about just yet. His wife said she was struggling the most from whatever this painful thing that happened was. I wasn't shocked by this but I knew what I sensed was right weeks earlier.

While I can be logical sometimes, I prefer going by "my gut" or emotions. More so what they are telling me. Which doesn't often fail me. I'm also what people call a "true netural". On the alignment chart (sort of like what kind of morals you have) its where I lie. Directly in the middle. Which is also supposedly rare. I can see things from both sides of an argument. I'm also a peace maker, I don't want to fight or argue really. I do feel out of place in this world. I feel simple and yet complex. I don't think people truly understand me at times. Likewise I can see the personas people have. As in I can tell when someone is being themself or being another persona. Sort of like how a boy might act one way with his parents versus his grandparents or friends or pastor...etc. When people use a fake pesrona on me I don't like it. Be who you are with me, be honest. I'd rather you be yourself (even if your real self is mean) then lie to me with a "I think your a great person!" persona. I can see if someone has a motive when asking me something. Mind you when I was younger I got used alot because despite seeing their personas, I was so nice and kind that I would let them use me.

Hmm.... as I typed I looked up my last personality test online. The last two I took at two sites say, well one says INTJ and the other says ISFJ.

The INTJ (Defender)
INTJ (Strategist) Personality Type

The ISJF:
ISFJ Personality (“The Defender”) | 16Personalities

 

[stanria]

I am an INTJ. I used to care, but don't really anymore. My priority is serving Jesus. Self analysis isn't really high on my priority list anymore.

 

[Paidiske]

I find it's helpful in practical ways. For example, as an introvert I need time away from people in order to function well. Understanding that about myself, and being able to communicate it to other people, helps me to manage work demands without feeling guilty for not being more extroverted, or having others misunderstand and judge me for being "anti-social" etc.

 

[Monna]

My father criticizes me because he says that I lack common sense and wisdom.

My logic says that this statement shows that the father lacks common sense and wisdom. If he had either he wouldn't be critising you KAC.

I have noted that there are many kinds of logic. Both of you, KAC and BetterCallPaul, have your own kind of logic. Neither of you are irrational. The starting points, the assumptions and value systems (in the sense of prioritising different values) in your way of thinking may be different from others, but I would submit that you are still logical in your reasoning. You are not jumping to unreasonable conclusions ... Like the sky is blue, therefore there are 12 inches in a foot.