Are you horrified by any Scripture?

[Vicomte13]

These are good examples of divine sense of humor. Thanks. I can't recall attribution but I remember a saying from awhile back that went : Coincidences are God demonstrating a sense of humor. Or something like: Coincidences are God winking at you.

There is quite a bit of humor in the proverbs as well, especially the ones about a difficult wife.

I think one of the most humorous incidents in the Bible requires you to really envision it to get it, and to know something about Jews, Jewish families, and stereotypical Jewish mothers (who have a lot in common with Italian mamas). Even those who haven't lived with and around Jews know something of Jewish humor because there is so much of it on TV and in the movies.

To set the scene. It's a Jewish wedding feast. People have been there for quite awhile, and drunk a lot. And the wine runs out. Jesus is there, and so is his mother. Now, Jesus has never performed any miracles in public before, this is before he begins his ministry, but he has obviously performed some around the house growing up because, just like that, his mother Miriam looks at him and says "They have no wine."

Now, you've got to follow the dialogue and think about the interaction here. The unspoken part is as important.

"They have no wine...[so DO something about it!]"

Jesus is really irritated "Woman, what's that to you and me?" [Really mom?, and besides] "It isn't my time." [I'm not READY to start my public ministry. And especially not to perform a major public miracle so that people can get more drunk at a party.]

But Mary is the typical Jewish mama. She doesn't even reply to her miracle-boy God's son. She ignores his protest, and starts giving orders to the help "Do exactly what he says."

So, Mary says something. Jesus whines about it and says no. And the Jewish mama ignores her boy and presses him into service anyway...and of course HE DOES WHAT HE'S TOLD.

The Jewish mama just nagged GOD into a miracle, with a look and a few words.

Perform it as a sketch with a Brooklyn Jewish accent and you'll see just how humorous the scene really is.

 

[Germatria1128]

There is quite a bit of humor in the proverbs as well, especially the ones about a difficult wife.

I think one of the most humorous incidents in the Bible requires you to really envision it to get it, and to know something about Jews, Jewish families, and stereotypical Jewish mothers (who have a lot in common with Italian mamas). Even those who haven't lived with and around Jews know something of Jewish humor because there is so much of it on TV and in the movies.

To set the scene. It's a Jewish wedding feast. People have been there for quite awhile, and drunk a lot. And the wine runs out. Jesus is there, and so is his mother. Now, Jesus has never performed any miracles in public before, this is before he begins his ministry, but he has obviously performed some around the house growing up because, just like that, his mother Miriam looks at him and says "They have no wine."

Now, you've got to follow the dialogue and think about the interaction here. The unspoken part is as important.

"They have no wine...[so DO something about it!]"

Jesus is really irritated "Woman, what's that to you and me?" [Really mom?, and besides] "It isn't my time." [I'm not READY to start my public ministry. And especially not to perform a major public miracle so that people can get more drunk at a party.]

But Mary is the typical Jewish mama. She doesn't even reply to her miracle-boy God's son. She ignores his protest, and starts giving orders to the help "Do exactly what he says."

So, Mary says something. Jesus whines about it and says no. And the Jewish mama ignores her boy and presses him into service anyway...and of course HE DOES WHAT HE'S TOLD.

The Jewish mama just nagged GOD into a miracle, with a look and a few words.

Perform it as a sketch with a Brooklyn Jewish accent and you'll see just how humorous the scene really is.

There used to be a bar at the beachfront in Virginia Beach named, "The Jewish Mother." Which is a great name for a beach establishment like that! They had a drink you could order at the bar called, "Miriam's Miracle." No kidding. Fantastic place but closed a couple of years ago because of financial woes and ill owner. All good things must come to an end.

 

[Germatria1128]

I chose dogs deliberately, partly because Jesus referred to the Syrophoenician woman and her sick daughter as "dogs". "Shall the food be thrown to the dogs while the children go unfed?" He asked? She replied subtly that even dogs eat from what falls from their master's table. And based on that God granted the miracle.

Also, one of the things on Jesus' list of what will prevent a man from passing final judgment is being a "dog".

I didn't stray upon a word to use - I used the very reference point Jesus used, twice.

The difficulty with ANY eternity scenario that doesn't end in "Universal Salvation" (i.e., All is Forgiven) is that it is clearly counter to the STATED WILL OF GOD in the Bible. (cf. 2 Peter 3:9 -- God is longsuffering because He wills that none shall perish). So if Satan is able/allowed to steal even one soul from the Father, he has thwarted God and defeated God's will!

Now if you and I were asked how Satan is doing at stealing souls from the beginning of History until now I think we would all agree that he's way beyond stealing one soul and is perhaps well into the billions of souls. THIS IS SIGNIFICANTLY COUNTER TO THE EXPRESSED WILL OF GOD. And does it not also imply that Christ's redeeming death and cleansing blood was only a "partial fix"? How can that be allowed to stand?! That's why I think that those who hold "Universal Salvation" as part of their doctrine are not completely crazy, but the uncertainties must give us pause.

"Universal Salvation" is not part of my doctrine because we have Christ's and the prophets' warnings of Hell, we have the account of sinners being cast into eternal destruction in Revelation, and justice demands payment or it makes a mockery of those who deny themselves and submit to the Law.

Now if you were to ask someone who believes in "Universal Salvation" why you should deny yourself, take up your cross and obey God's commandments and live as holy a life as you can when in the end ALL will be saved ANYWAY, I think they would answer: You should live as Holy as possible ANYWAY because THAT'S the right way to live, period. And that's true.

Think of the Prodigal Son. The Son that lived wisely inherited the Father's things [so there is a reward for living wisely], but the erring Son, the foolish Son, was welcomed home and not destroyed in the end but with little of the Father's inheritance [the punishment for foolishness].

 

[SnowyMacie]

I'm not necessarily horrified by any scripture, but interpretations of scripture.

 

[Spiritlight]

I have to admit I dislike The parts advocating genocide the jews carried out on other nations in the OT. It reminds me of whats going on in the Middle east now.

 

[justhere1]

All the scriptures that talk about God chastening believers.

 

[Extraneous]

All the scriptures that talk about God chastening believers.

Its not horrifying if you consider that its Gods love. Both Hebrews and Revelation say that God chastens everyone he loves, and Hebrews says that every son is chastened. Its actually proof that we belong to God. Its a good thing actually. THe scriptures teach us not to despise his chastening, and i can see why, because its proof that he loves us. By faith we endure all things, and by His grace we are sustained. There is no reason to fear it, and all we must do is endure it, and to be strong in His grace through it. It may not be joyous at the time, but it yields fruit in us afterward, just as Hebrews says it does, so again its a good thing and nothing to fear.

 

[justhere1]

Its not horrifying if you consider that its Gods love. Both Hebrews and Revelation say that God chastens everyone he loves, and Hebrews says that every son is chastened. Its actually proof that we belong to God. Its a good thing actually. THe scriptures teach us not to despise his chastening, and i can see why, because its proof that he loves us. By faith we endure all things, and by His grace we are sustained. There is no reason to fear it, and all we must do is endure it, and to be strong in His grace through it. It may not be joyous at the time, but it yields fruit in us afterward, just as Hebrews says it does, so again its a good thing and nothing to fear.

Yes, I understand that, but being in this flesh, it's extremely hard (and I daresay impossible) to go a day without sinning. By that, I just feel like chastisement is always around the corner, no matter how much I try not to sin.

 

[Extraneous]

Yes, I understand that, but being in this flesh, it's extremely hard (and I daresay impossible) to go a day without sinning. By that, I just feel like chastisement is always around the corner, no matter how much I try not to sin.

I suppose that we will grow, in time. Its not as bad as it may seem now.

 

[justhere1]

I suppose that we will grow, in time. Its not as bad as it may seem now.

Hopefully. I'm trying to, but it's hard since the hardest thing for me is the thoughts in my mind. I try to bring the captive immediately, but since I have to live with my mind, it can get exhausting.

 

[Extraneous]

Hopefully. I'm trying to, but it's hard since the hardest thing for me is the thoughts in my mind. I try to bring the captive immediately, but since I have to live with my mind, it can get exhausting.

I dont believe anyone is perfect. I cant teach you anything, only God can do that. Meditating on scripture, by studying it, debating it with others, and pondering it, this has helped me a lot. Thats the only advice i would give anyone. I believe in the power of the indwelling spirit, who teaches us as individuals.

Romans 7:19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good.22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.

 

[Extraneous]

I have struggles controlling my thoughts at times, but i have grown over the years as well, and i dont struggle as much as i use to. I try to let Gods grace sustain me, i do my best, and i move forward in hope. Sow to the spirit, thats what paul teaches us.

 

[SistrNChrist]

I honestly have never really understood the "rape victims must marry their rapists" criticism of the Bible. Anti-Christians or whatever they are called act like it's a blanket rule, but I honestly haven't seen it in the Bible and if it's there then the law probably is meant to punish the woman for letting a man who is not her husband have sex with her--the idea being that if she didn't cry out in fear, she wanted it. Faulty? Probably, but they didn't know about the psychological issues rape victims have, and how some people might be so afraid or whatever that they would be in shock. It could be much worse. Women weren't just raped freely like the criticism implies.

I know this is probably controversial, but I understand that some women will (in ignorance) have a sexual fantasy of being raped by a man so that they can "get away with" having sex with a person who they "aren't supposed to" have sex with. That's very offensive to actual rape victims, some of which were afraid that they did enjoy it, but apparently fantasies like this happen, as wrong as they are. If anything, the Israelites might have actually understood better than the Victorian Protestant the idea that, yes, women can enjoy sex. People could read the verse, however, and think, "well, since those fundamentalists don't think women can enjoy sex, the Israelites in the OT must have had the same mindset." But I think most "fundamentalists" don't take culture into account with the exception of things like coveting donkeys.

I'm thinking that maybe this law, if It says what people assume it does, was meant to punish women trying to fake a victim status. The sex, for them, could have been consensual and the Israelites could have stoned the man so that the woman could "cover up her tracks". I should also point out that something similar happened with Potiphar's wife and Joseph--a woman tries to seduce a man that isn't her husband, he refuses her advances and she claims that she was raped. And considering that women's testimonies, in the ancient world, were inferior to a man's, they wouldn't just go on the woman's word that she was raped--and sometimes people claim things like that for victim hood.

I don't see it as a way to demean women either or a blanket rule that should still be followed today. My take on this passage is that even though it's not in God's plan that a woman would be raped, He still wants her to be provided for. Back in the days when this passage was written, it was common that a woman who was raped would be forced to live the rest of her life in disgrace, because no man wanted to marry a woman who was no longer a virgin, even if the cause was rape. By God instituting this rule, He basically holds the man accountable as well, because since he was the one that caused her to lose her virginity, he now has to provide for her as her husband. In this day and age, for the most part, we have moved away from the ancient practices, so this command no longer applies to the 21st century Western culture.

 

[SistrNChrist]

All the scriptures that talk about God chastening believers.

I don't find those horrible, because I look at those as a parent disciplining a disobedient child. For those of you that are parents, if your child did something that was not acceptable, would you choose to discipline them out of love, or would you let it slide so that they can do the same thing without fear of consequences? Similarly, God is the parent who loves his children (us) too much to not discipline us whenever we stray from His will.

 

[justhere1]

I have struggles controlling my thoughts at times, but i have grown over the years as well, and i dont struggle as much as i use to. I try to let Gods grace sustain me, i do my best, and i move forward in hope. Sow to the spirit, thats what paul teaches us.

I've gotten better with it once I got saved, but I still have a long road ahead of me. If I live for another 20 or 30+ years, it just seems some draining to have to control my thoughts every single second.

 

[justhere1]

I don't find those horrible, because I look at those as a parent disciplining a disobedient child. For those of you that are parents, if your child did something that was not acceptable, would you choose to discipline them out of love, or would you let it slide so that they can do the same thing without fear of consequences? Similarly, God is the parent who loves his children (us) too much to not discipline us whenever we stray from His will.

I can see it from that perspective, but even with the most strictest of parents, I haven't heard of one having over 600 rules for their child, and to break one could mean discipline. Even on my best day, I'm still probably breaking a bunch of rules I don't know about.

 

[Extraneous]

I've gotten better with it once I got saved, but I still have a long road ahead of me. If I live for another 20 or 30+ years, it just seems some draining to have to control my thoughts every single second.

All i know brother is that no matter how many times i fail, i will not give up hope. I will press forward no matter what because without God we have nothing.



Psalm 73:14 For all day long I have been plagued,
And chastened every morning.

Lamentations 3:22 Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.

Psalm 17:15 As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.



Lamentations 3:17 You have moved my soul far from peace;
I have forgotten prosperity.
18 And I said, “My strength and my hope
Have perished from the Lord.”
19 Remember my affliction and roaming,
The wormwood and the gall.
20 My soul still remembers
And sinks within me.
21 This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
22 Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”

Romans 7:19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good.22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.

 

[theniceiceman]

I'm prone to anxiety in the first place, and I also have religious OCD aka scrupulosity (yes, it's a real type of OCD) that makes me even more likely to get nervous/doubtful/frightened by religious matters, Bible verses especially. Verses where God says that if you seek Him, you'll find Him, but if you turn your back on Him, He'll reject you forever--that's scary. Or some verses in Hebrews that make it sound like if you heard the gospel and got saved, then fall away for a bit, you can never come back, or that if you sin after you're saved, you won't be forgiven. When I think about Jesus, I try to picture him rejecting someone who came back to him--and I don't see him doing it. I think about him not forgiving someone for sins they commit after recognizing him as the Messiah, and again, it just doesn't seem like him, especially when he encourages us to forgive each other 7x70 times. But they still scare me. Also the verse in Psalms where God said that He hates His children--I can't remember it verbatim, or the number, but I'm pretty sure that's what it said. It all makes me nervous, and it makes me feel like I have to constantly be on my toes and be perfect or risk angering God, which completely goes against the gospel.

 

[BadHabit]

Personally I'm not real fond of the discussion in Exodus about the circumcision of males. My own circumcision when I was an infant was botched and it left me with a non-functional and numb appendage, so to read about circumcision tends to give me an icky feeling.

 

[followthestar]

That one part in Genesis where the daughters get their father drunk so that he could have a son. I read that. Went 'nope'. Haven't opened the Bible app since.