When Paul wrote, "And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home:" 1 Corinthians 14:35, do you think this was because there may be a tendency for her to be attracted to another man, other than her husband?
It's highly doubtful. More than likely the comment was just an acknowledgement of cultural normas and nothing more.
I experienced something like this a few years back. I was a leader in a religious group, and used to council members regularly. This one guy in particular eventually brought his wife into our sessions. After a while she was calling me on the phone directly to ask me questions regarding the scriptures, and pointing out faults in her husbands character.
In time, she became attracted to me (or my mind rather) and said flatly that knowledge was attractive (sexy was the word she used), and that she saw her husband as a total oaf!
Not unusual, and just about every pastor and therapist who doesn't live in a vacuum has a similar story.
Unfortunately for female therapists and pastors we tend to be more in danger of stalking because of the agressive tendencies of many male patients/counselees/parishioners etc. Not to say male helpers don't experience the same thing from women at times. In a classic movie, Clint Eastwood played a radio disc jockey who was stalked by a disturbed listener played by Jessica Walter in the movie
Play Misty for Me. Like a lot of Eastwood pix the violence percolated under the surface and eventually reached a crescendo but it was dynamic familiar to so many in the helping professions, not to mention minor celebs like Eastwood portrayed in the movie. Just as John Hinckley shot Ronald Reagan to impress Jody Foster a gay male obsessesed with Scott Baio ("Chachi" on
Happy Days) committed multiple arsons to impress the object of his obsession. And I believe most of us are familiar with the murder of the girl from
My Sister Sam by her stalker. Usually pastors and therapists son't have it so bad, but it makes you understand why those big burly guys are always with Britney Spears when she takes her babies to the park.
The vast majority of therapeutic patients and pastoral counselees behave appropriately. Transference-overidentification with the therapist- does occur but usually at a minor level. We have debates about the propriety of therapists/pastors having pictures of their families in their offices. Some who are against it say it provides a "stumbling block" for patients in crisis; they imagine your perfect family life (yeah, right
) and fantasize about offing your spouse to replace him or her with themselves ala Jessica Walter in
Misty or the others. No doubt some do. It may however, offer a chance to assert professional boundaries: if a patient picks up a picture of your daughter and asks, "where does she goes to school?" unless the answer's obvious because of smalltown familiarity, it's a chance to say as you gently retrieve the picture, "We're here to talk about you, now..." Since I don't subscribe to the school that says "no family pictures" I do other things to maintain boundaries and the flow of sessions; OTOH, the office in which I see sex offenders at another agency is not my personal space and has no personal accoutremonts and I want to keep it that way for obvious reasons.
It's a big, big overgeneralization to say all women patients (or male, gay male, etc.) patients seek to cross the line in this manner. However, therapists and pastors need to exercise discretion. My father is a pastor and does not see female counselees without the church secretary, my mother, or someone else also present in the building at the time. It's only prudent.