Are there ANY MEN that do not

[alwaysyoung]

struggle with lust or porn?

I've posted similar topics on this subject, because its something my husband is dealing with. Everyone has been extremely helpful. But, I just have this one last question:

Are any of you men 100% free of lustful thoughts and porn?

Ot is this a problem/addiction with all men?

Everyone here has been super. Thank you so much!
Lisa

 

[KnightCross]

CnLisa, I think you're missing the point that many of us were trying to make.

Is anyone here free from sin? Women are more likely to have eating disorders based on emotional issues more than men. Should I consider that all women have emotional disorders? I don't, as I know that everyone struggles in varying ways with all sorts of sins.

I know that there are some men that have never had a problem with pornography, and some men who have been able to cure themselves easily, while other men struggle for years.

The key is where to go from HERE. You both must be willing to take on this task.

Cheers and God Bless!

 

[alwaysyoung]

Thanks for all your help and insight so far Knightcross. I do understand that we all have sin (I have plenty of my own problems) I guess what I am searching for is men that DO NOT have this particular sin. Like you said, you know men that don't struggle with porn...I want to hear from those people: Men that don't have to deal with this particular sin in their lives.

I've had great advice on where to go from here...this post is not asking for more help, rather just seeking out men that don't struggle with porn.

Thanks, and I hope I clarified my post.
Lisa

 

[blerg1234]

YOu know, I actually see the way you're posting as an attack on men, because a lot of us struggle with resisting lust... It *is* hard for us, simply because women are just... pretty **** good looking and with the internet and everything it is SO easy to find stuff to look at. I've struggled with it for a while and still do, but I've done pretty well the last few months .

After all, I understand a lot of women struggle with gossip, which is also a no-no ...

 

[Gabriel]

I don't feel attacked. I think the problem is biological and sinful. Women tend to be able to see a good looking guy and think, "He's good looking." and leave it at that. Men, on th other hand, seem to see a good looking woman and think of her in a more specific and lustful way. "Nice butt or build or whatever." In different settings and circumstances that is a stronger or weaker reaction. It also has to do, at least in my case, with my state of mind and heart at the time. If I am driving down the road parying or singing a praise song, those thoughts are less likely than if I am watching something trashy like Jerry Springer or MTV. So my means of combatting that is to not watch trashy stuff and to fill my thoughts and habits with things that are godly and family oriented.

I certainly don't want to downplay your emeotions or make excuses for your husband, but I will say this. I love my wife and I would never commit adultery, but I do notice other women. I push sexual thoughts away from me when I have them about other women. Those thoughts do not affect my love for her and because I don't entertain them, they create no danger as far as further sexual sin. King David was a favored servant of the Lord. He committed adultery. But what lead to that adultery? He was neglecting his duty as a leader. When other kings were at war, he was home, bored, idle and he saw a woman bathing. One thing lead to another and he paid for his sin.

A friend of mine had a problem with internet porn so he and his wife made a deal. Their computer is protected by a password and only she knows it. They log on together and she hangs with him while he does his thing. A bit childish I suppose, but if he can't resist without supervision, supervision he shall have.

Alot of men struggle with this, yes. Most of them don't have loving wives that will help them through it. I commend you for that and will hold you up in my prayers.

Grace to you.

 

[Chris†opher Paul]

I am 100% free of porn by my own decision to obey God. It was tough to break free though, since I was exposed to it since around age 5.

I am not 100% free of lustful thoughts, as that is impossible given our biologies, but I make a good effort to reduce them and it works.

There is hope for your husband, dont worry!

 

[I can eat 50 eggs]

I'm sure there are some men somewhere that don't struggle with this but they are definitely the exception, not the rule. I've been in several different mens accountability groups over the years, and 90% of the men in there agree that this is there biggest problem area. Now, not all of them view porn, but all struggle with lustful thoughts.

 

[Chris†opher Paul]

Originally posted by I can eat 50 eggs
I'm sure there are some men somewhere that don't struggle with this but they are definitely the exception, not the rule. I've been in several different mens accountability groups over the years, and 90% of the men in there agree that this is there biggest problem area. Now, not all of them view porn, but all struggle with lustful thoughts.

Yep, we are biologically wired that way, in addition to the constant onslaught of imagery that we see everywhere.

I was in the Mall last night with my wife, and one the front of the Victoria's Secret store was a picture of a model that might as well have been naked.

Its just everywhere!

 

[JunkYardFrog]

hmmm

I can't seem to get the copy function to work....

Oh well.

Quote: "Ot is this a problem/addiction with all men?"

No. It is not an addiction with all men.

Are all men addicted to alcohol? Are all men addicted to food? Obviously not. Satan uses whatever he can to get us to sin. That's different things for different people.

 

[JunkYardFrog]

Quote: "I've had great advice on where to go from here...this post is not asking for more help, rather just seeking out men that don't struggle with porn."

Why?

 

[Quiet Storm]

I've struggle with it, and for awhile thought I was immune to it but fell into its trap again. I honestly felt attacked when I first saw these topics but that was because I was having issues of my own towards women, and anything that could even remotely trigger it would. It's a serious and sensitive struggle that (I'm bold to say) all "normal" males ("normal" meaning healthy sex drive, etc.) go through. When I was struggling with it, I didn't even want to talk about it with a girl because I don't believe they understand just how difficult to cope with and overcome. Like someone said, we're naturally made to be stimulated by sight, where although a select few females are stimulated by sight, most are stimulated by touch. With men being stimulated by sight naturally, you can imagine what we struggle with, what with all of the "sex sells!!!!" craze that's going on today. I look at it as just like women with periods. Men don't have it, so although we sympatize wholeheartedly with you, and we know what cramps, headaches, depression, etc are like, we've never had menstrual cramps before, so we can't really understand by experience what it's like, so therefore won't fully understand how much of a struggle it is for you all. Same thing with lust and males. I think (some ) women may try to understand it, but will never fully get the grasp just because of the way we were made differently. But understand that it's not just something you can say "I'll never do it again" and be done with it, even if you want to. More times than not, it's something you have to keep reminding yourself and working on over and over and over. Now within the confines of marriage, it's a big problem because of the "lusting after another other than your wife being adultery" scripture. I now can understand where you're coming from because you may feel like he doesn't find you desirable anymore, or he doesn't respect the marriage enough to honor just you, and you have every right to be concerned. I think the most important thing to realize (if no one else has said it already) is that he's got to be willing to change. If he's God fearing, show him scriptures, have him talk to a pastor, a brother in Christ, or something along those lines. And most of all, PRAY and have faith about it. Like Jesus said, what God has put together, let no man put asunder. If both of you are willing to work together on it, I believe that will make things much easier. I'll pray for you.

 

[NathanStinson]

Its really hard

 

[DeputyDan]

Actually, I am a man not addicted to Porn.

The reason is, I know that it could consume me if I were involved with it so I adopted the AA approach to porn like many do to alcohol.

Stay 100% away from it - 100% of the time.

Prayer helps.

 

[seebs]

Originally posted by cnlisa
struggle with lust or porn?

I dunno. I'll sometimes browse porn if I'm really, really, bored, but I have to have gone through all my online comics first. Lust? That depends a lot on definitions, but in general, no. I don't have a lot of trouble remaining faithful to my wife, etcetera.

 

[Athlon4all]

Prayer helps.

Amen. That may be one of the most important tools. Also, it is very important to be growing and growing in your relationship with the LORD. When Satan tempts you to lust for that girl thats next to you, pray and focus on Who the LORD is.

as that is impossible given our biologies,

That is very wrong. Lust is Aduletry, which is a Sin. Any Sin can be overcome by the Holy Spirit and Christ working in us, just as any other Sin issue (like hating your brother or sister). I can't put my finger on scriptures but I know I've seen plenty of them. One of them is Leviticus 20:8-9, where God declares himself as "The LORD which sanctifies you." We do not need to be held bondage to sin any longer, if we would just give it up to the LORD.

Porn for me is earier to overcome then Lust because its an act. Lust is in the Mind and the heart, that makes it so much more difficult. I began to get into Porn about a little more than 2 years ago, now thank the LORD that He got me out of it, but to this day, EVERYWHERE I am tempted. The LORD has been working in me for sure (I have noticed a difference) but I still struggle with it. Its a life long struggle for many. LORD help us.

 

[seebs]

Not all desire is lust. Sexual desire is a part of us, as God made us. Lust is not the same thing.

 

[Susan]

My boyfriend doesn't like that trash.

And in reply to Quiet Storm's and seebs's posts, I must say that the entire idea of a biological drive to engage in sexual behavior or that God made sexual desire as a part of us is flawed. I believe that even that can be overcome by focusing on God and what He wants from us rather than what we want from each other, and WHY would God make us want to sin and do disgusting, perverted things? I believe that this "drive" was a tragedy of the Fall and is a part of our sin nature.

And lastly, in reply to anyone who "looks up porn casually but does not have an addiction," I would say three things.

First of all, consider Matthew 5:31 and your relationships very seriously.

Secondly, if you still believe you have no problem, monitor yourself. If you're bored, rather than look up porn, find interesting nonsexual, nonpornographic sites. Seriously, if you're bored, you can find plenty of educational and informative (and just plain silly and strange sites) that will give you something to do. Or just log off.

And if your consumption starts increasing or becoming worse from what it is now AT ALL, (IOW, you add a site to your favorites or you start looking for it specifically in searches-let's say you were someone who occasionally went to a normal site and one time in 100 wandered to a bad site from it, for example you occasionally went to the AN site and browsed the paid members only hentrash section after finishing your other business there. Now I would believe that alone is something you need to seek God's forgiveness for, but let's say that rather than the occasional browse you started clicking "hentai" into Google when you go online and began logging sites and pics on your PC's HD. Or let's say you then start going to the slash and child hentai sites. Either way, it's a sign that your sin is becoming worse. It's sort of like the person who gets drunk on New Year's every year is a sinner and doing no good for their health, but is not an *alcoholic*-yet if someone starts getting drunk every day or every weekend, he is an alcoholic.)

The third thing I want to warn anyone who looks at anything that could possibly in any way be considered unlawful about is the "one-click rule." If you look at some materials, one click logged anywhere in your computer that can be found by a FBI computer forensics tech (this includes deleted files) is enough to send you to the slammer for up to 5 to 20 years. Consider that the next time you're "bored" or "just curious."

I don't want anyone reading this to ever go to jail-I would feel so sad that your sin took you there

My $.02.

 

[Athlon4all]

Susan you are absolutely correct that there is no "uncontrollable lust drive" in man that cannot be (and should be) controlled by the LORD. And you made some good points about the "casual Porn" as well.

 

[KnightCross]

This has been a good thread, and I hope you are getting some insight, CNLisa. I also hope and pray that you and your husband are taking steps in Christian counseling to break away from this sin.

Let me gently correct a few misconceptions, though.

There is a big difference between sexual drive and sinful lust. I think many here feel that they are the same, but they are not. It's also bad because it may mean that some of you are struggling with something that is not really the problem.

All of us have sexual desire, God built us that way. There is nothing wrong with it. When it becomes twisted into a sense of lust and greed, that is when it becomes a sin. In other words, if a man sees a nicely attired woman and feels that she is very sexy, that is a reaction to our inbuilt sense of desire. If we persue our thoughts further (and the woman is not the man's mate!) and think "I would like to...", that is when it becomes sinful. To force our desires upon inanimate pictures represents what many men fear...that desires upon a real woman may result in rejection, thus the pictures are the "easy" way out.

When you become closer to God, it is easier to see the dividing line between the two. To some of you, it may not be apparent right now.

For the record, experimentation with pornography does NOT mean that you will eventually graduate to child pornography or worse. Those are separate problems that need to be treated separately.

The FBI or police will NOT put anyone in the slammer for having (general) pornography. Nor is there any such thing as a "one click rule" (sorry Susan). My real life job is computer security, I have to know things like that.

Hope this helps!

Cheers and God Bless!

 

[Susan]

Um, excuse me, Knight, I don't think you read the article in Wired magazine about the one-click rule? The Adam Vaughn case?

I will post it as soon as I can, with hopefully no mod repercussions.