You might not like my answers

No I'm SURE you will not like my answers.
When was the last time you wrote your own copy of the law?
Part of my religious training
Fringes died out in the 80s... none of my clothes have fringes...
OH don't be obtuse. The "fringe refered to are the Tzit-Tzit
I haven't seen a single person with the Word of God bound on the arm or the head.
You have never used Tafilan? I have.
Man, I wish this tradition was still in place...
It is. In Israel. It is also standard practice in my order. You are aforded a years "leave" after marriage.
I can't even name all the festivals, let alone celebrate all of them. How about you?
Every year. Old Testament and New testament. Would you like the list?
I don't know about you, but I purchase my meat at Kroger, and therefore cannot examine the marks.
You should try kosher beef. It's also corn fed rather than hopped up on hormones.
Guess my college loans are hindering my growth in God!
Debt always hinders growth.
Dang, I have to get rid of my favorite sweater now!
Well that's okay. I'm sure you have plenty of other clothes as well.
Lots of protestant churches fail here..
3 steps to the alter - 3 more to the high alter.
Does your church do this every week?
As a matter of fact we do. It's called the Eucharist.
I am allergic to incense.... another black mark on my record, right?
DO this too.
Anything else?