Are people really happy single!

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

YES YES YES IM SUPER HAPPY WIT MY BOYZ IN THE SKY My two closest homies go by the name Yahweh and Yahshua. Thats all the fam I need yall.

 

[Curtis.Hilliker]

When I was born again I was on the spiritual mountaintop of new life with Jesus, and being single was super awesome. Then I fell off the mountaintop and couldn't stand it!!!!

 

[Adstar]

I hear some people volunteer and have lots of friends and stuff but I can't see how anyone could be happy with shallow relationships like that long term. No real family, no kids, your friends will have their own family so they'll have less time for you. And the physical desires that come with being single, hobbies and volunteer work doesn't fix that. How can some people they are okay with being single forever?

People can get used to anything if they experience it for long enough... Being single is hard when you are young but as you grow older and spend more and more time single it becomes a way of life and the desire to marry just dissipates..

 

[ReesePiece23]

In order to find happiness with anyone, one must first find peace and joy in themselves.

(Speaking generally, not at anyone directly)
If YOU can not make your life happy and meaningful yourself.... how is it fair to expect someone else to bring that to you? Outside of Christ of course, He is the only one we can TRULY look to, to bring us fulfillment and NOT be met with disappointment.

If you find your joy SOLELY in someone other than Christ they WILL inevitably disappoint you. Looking to others for happiness is one reason I believe so many get married, then divorced. They think being married will "fix" something in them. When it doesn't it just becomes a burden and toss their marriage aside.

I can't add or improve anything on this. The only thing I'll say about myself is that I have a bit of a selfish streak running through me. (It would probably take a relationship to fix that to be honest.)

My inner strength stems HUGELY from a desire to have everything my way. And that to a degree, overcasts any desire to reach out for meaningful relationships - even with friends.

But am I happy? Oh HELL yeah!

 

[Applekrate]

I have to agree, a bit, with the post #23. It is harder being single when very young as most are less secure with themselves.
Being single has many advantages, esp for guys. You can go most anywhere most anytime. You eat when you fell like it and sleep the same way. Each day and hour is your own and I can get quite deep in my hobbies and projects that I enjoy so much. I've learned to spend some of that time in scripture and serving. I've done so much and do not have to answer to anyone ( except the Lord of course ) and so many more things are planned, Lord willing.
Yes, some people are really happy being single.
It is kind of like what most little boys think of and few get to experience. When you are little, you look forward to being grown up and not being told when to eat, what to eat, when to be home, when to clean up, where to go, etc,etc. When I wrote 'few get to experience" it is because many men go from being a son of a mother to a husband of a wife and never get to experience true time on their own. True freedom as an adult. That is another reason why many say it may be best to marry a bit later in life.
It has many advantages and can be quite comfortable and simple and easy.
Looking back at having been in a few relationships, they were complicated and difficult at times and many women definately work to manipulate you. I think it is their mother instinct in them.
Still, though I look forward to being with the right gal someday but, wonder if it will ever happen.

 

[Citanul]

I'm happy with some aspects of being single and unhappy with others. I'm an introvert, so I don't mind being alone, and I'm certainly very happy that I only ever have to socialise on my terms. I also have freedom to do (or I guess not do) what I want when I want to.

But even though I can handle the lack of companionship for the most part, there are times when it does get to me, as does the frustration around not being able to meet anyone. So for me it's not a simple case of being happy/unhappy single. By and large I'm OK with being single, but I would prefer not to remain single for the rest of my life, although I wouldn't regard it as a complete disaster if I did.

 

[rturner76]

I hear some people volunteer and have lots of friends and stuff but I can't see how anyone could be happy with shallow relationships like that long term. No real family, no kids, your friends will have their own family so they'll have less time for you. And the physical desires that come with being single, hobbies and volunteer work doesn't fix that. How can some people they are okay with being single forever?

I've seen you ask questions about relationships and I was going to ask you some other time.... Are you the type of person that feels like they always needed to be in a relationship? The reason I ask is because I noticed you were in a situation where you were either settling for something you really didn't want or you were thinking about changing your values to make someone else happy, I don't remember exactly.

What I think happens is when you feel good about yourself and get comfortable with who you are as a person, you don't mind being alone so much and can even grow to prefer it. Romantic entanglements become not as important once you reach a certain level of peace within your own life. Plus when you get older, at least it happened for me, I became less interested in romance or more specifically sex, though I think that has something to do with the medication I am taking as well. I guess the bottom line is some people have a life full of friends, interests, activities, careers, travel and hobbies, and being in a relationship just isn't as important to them and can even slow them down when it comes to doing what they want to do because they would have to consider another person's feelings about everything and they want to be able to just do what they want to do, go where they want to go, and see who they want to see.

 

[Grandpa2390]

Never said ANYTHING about loving yourself before you can love others.

I said if you cant be happy in yourself, its not fair to put that weight of your happiness on someone elses shoulders.
(again, being general not direct)
(Aside from peace and fulfillment of Christ) Your happiness is YOUR responsibility, not someone elses burden to carry.

In order to find happiness with anyone, one must first find peace and joy in themselves.

(Speaking generally, not at anyone directly)
If YOU can not make your life happy and meaningful yourself.... how is it fair to expect someone else to bring that to you?

Unless you get your peace/happiness/fulfillment through the giving of yourself totally and completely to another person.... as many married people have discovered.
Then getting married is what you need to do to be happy

 

[blackribbon]

I hear some people volunteer and have lots of friends and stuff but I can't see how anyone could be happy with shallow relationships like that long term. No real family, no kids, your friends will have their own family so they'll have less time for you. And the physical desires that come with being single, hobbies and volunteer work doesn't fix that. How can some people they are okay with being single forever?

My friendships aren't shallow. They can be as close if not closer than family. And marriages can be very shallow... Getting married or even finding a significant other doesn't guarantee that you will be happy. It actually makes it harder more of the time because you have to compromise what you really want. Look how many people get divorced in our society and you will see that marriage doesn't fix anything either. That "fix" has to come from inside and being happy with who you are as an individual.

 

[Sir Robbins]

I'd much rather have a permanent special honor in Heaven than a temporary girlfriend on Earth.

while this is true, it makes one's presence on earth quite unfortunate when they are alone their whole life and have no interest in missions, the church or having anything to do with others... a lonely heart can cause severe physical damage and shorten a life span by over 20 years.... It can cause devastation to one's personality that would lead them to a life of isolation and hatred

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[redblue22]

Unless you can feel happy banished, you can't be part of the family.

My dear wife, it is not my responsibility to make you happy. I don't want to hear about it.

Jesus makes me happy so I don't need you. (points at husband and children)

 

[Gnarwhal]

I hear some people volunteer and have lots of friends and stuff but I can't see how anyone could be happy with shallow relationships like that long term. No real family, no kids, your friends will have their own family so they'll have less time for you. And the physical desires that come with being single, hobbies and volunteer work doesn't fix that. How can some people they are okay with being single forever?

The flaw of your premise is the failure to recognize how something other than a romantic relationship can be fulfilling. Marriage is a vocation, but it's not the only one. There's a very large group of people out there who have realized their vocation is religious life, for example, which requires celibacy. These people are some of the most joyous and fulfilled people you'll ever meet.

There are people who for one reason or another are asked to live a chaste life, meaning no romantic relationships. They are no less fulfilled than anyone else.

While married life may be something the majority is called to, it's not for everybody.

Some are simply called to do something that couldn't be done if they were married, like a career that serves the purposes of God but cannot be done with a family.

 

[Sir Robbins]

Some are simply called to do something that couldn't be done if they were married, like a career that serves the purposes of God but cannot be done with a family.

I have a career that does neither... work too much to be with people with little free time. My spare time is spent sleeping... I'd be a sloth when I'm not working according to the bible. I have medical issues too.... I'll never mission the rest of my life after being cornered about it

 

[Bass4Jesus]

People can get used to anything if they experience it for long enough... Being single is hard when you are young but as you grow older and spend more and more time single it becomes a way of life and the desire to marry just dissipates..

↑ This.

 

[SnowyMacie]

Some people are, some people are not. There are people, like myself, who are wired to be in a relationship, some people wired to be single, and others that could go either way (I think is most people).

 

[timewerx]

And the physical desires that come with being single, hobbies and volunteer work doesn't fix that. How can some people they are okay with being single forever?

There are many things that drive me to depression but being single is not one of them.

Perhaps, if you think of yourself as nothing then it won't matter anymore.

 

[blackribbon]

You know, the longer I am single the more I realize that I'd be okay with just finding a solid male friend to have the male voice in my life again. There is freedom in being single that does not exist when you are married. Maybe as time moves forward and my kids leave the nest, I might be able to meet the lonely factor by just getting a good female roommate who is also my best friend.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I might be able to meet the lonely factor by just getting a good female roommate who is also my best friend.

Or perhaps a man from this forum who's always available?

 

[redblue22]

Ugh. How I feel when a date cancels. Boredom.