Hi OP, I am sorry that I haven't been able to respond to your last post to me, as I did not receive a notification of your reply, and then when I did come to check on the status of the thread, it had accrued several pages and I have not been able to assign time to catch up with it. But I have just now encountered an example that made me realise there is more to morality than The Golden Rule alone (indeed, love appears to be more complex than what The Golden Rule defines in isolation), and I am compelled to report it while my finding is fresh:
You could not be more correct!
The situation I just encountered was this:
1. I was walking on the sidewalk, a little hurriedly but not obnoxiously, a car came to turn into the drive that I was set to walk across, and she began to cross the path of traffic coming in the opposite direction.
2. There were cars parked on both sides of the road, so there was no room for cars to go around her if she had stopped in her lane, and she (I speculate
appeared to have not seen me on the footpath until she had already began to cross the opposite lane.
3. I saw her crossing the lane as I approached the drive way and I paused to give her the right of way (traffic law states that pedestrians have the right of way in that case).
4. She was already in the line of opposing traffic, and two cars were approaching.
5. She motioned for me to cross, so I allowed her to have her way, so that I would cross without causing a fuss (it is a result of my experience to not engage in a battle of ego that is to be the most courteous of all - I sighed in my spirit as I did so, that she would be able to see it).
6. As a result of her courtesy, the car coming from the opposite direction slowed down and passed her on the opposite side of the road, looking at me as if to accuse me of not giving her concession to cross my path on account of the circumstances.
I was, of course, innocent of the blame of the driver that chose to swerve, but it forced me to consider a number of things as I continued walking down the street:
- Why did I decide to concede to her;
- Why did she offer me the right of way;
- Why is it that we both offered the right of way, but only one of us was morally right to do so;
- I already knew that the law's prescription was not morally right given the circumstances (it was an emergency - she had not seen me before making the maneuver although I had already seen her);
- In this case, seeing as we both were acting to apply morality (do unto the other as you would have them do to you), yet we couldn't both be right, what is the greater operation of moral law?
- Why did I ultimately decide that it was better to cross without fuss, than to insist that she should proceed?
- Was the driver of the oncoming vehicle entitled to the anger he directed at me, and why did I feel innocent while he thought of me as guilty - further, why do I think he was wrong to be angry?
The answer was really interesting: that The Golden Rule is not the entirety of moral code, but what was lacking was an agreement as to what is ultimately righteous. I should explain how I have arrived at this observation:
- The essence of each of our courtesy was exactly that: we would rather give another person the preferential treatment.
- It was never a matter of traffic law (this is what I sensed in her spirit by the expression in her motion to me) - although traffic law might have formed the fundamental nature of her habit, or it might be a reflection on a fundamental concept.
- She has thought a car should give way to a pedestrian.
- I saw the dangerous environment, that it was busy and built-up, and if I were to walk on the footpath, she would be forced to halt her vehicle, potentially in the way of oncoming traffic.
- The driver of the oncoming car had seen that the car was blocking his path, and looking to the reason for it, saw that I was walking in her path. He had judged me as being self-centred because if it were him, he would have offered to let her go (and he had not seen that I did in fact make that offer).
- I have been in the same situation before and have insisted, but the driver again had insisted to me, and had resulted in the honking of the horn of the oncoming traffic.
- I recognised that this person's desire to show courtesy was great enough, and that she had not yet seen the oncoming traffic as impending upon her, that she was likely to insist. So to minimise potential disruption, I simply conceded to her courtesy.
This is all very interesting - the righteousness in my calculation, was to spare her from the discomfort of having found herself the subject of a honking horn, yet as a result, the man's anger has come upon me - an innocent party doing my best to diffuse a dangerous situation. What's most interesting to observe in this, is not only that the man's anger is inappropriate (he was approaching within 50 metres of a give-way intersection on a busy road), but the driving factor of the lady's courtesy was a fear of wrath! She had offered me the courtesy fundamentally because she feared that if she were to cut in front of me, then she would be the subject of my accusation "what a rude lady" - and that is not who she is at heart.
Isn't it interesting to see this - that she had naturally expected me to be justified and likely to exercise wrath toward her for having crossed the footpath in my way - while the man of the oncoming car did exactly that to her! .. yet it wasn't in my heart at any time, and when I offered her the courtesy it was because I saw a legitimate danger in her maneuver and that I was in a position to assist her safe passage.
Now what's interesting, is because that driver did not stop to discuss the matter with me, to understand why I thought it justified to cross in her path and to apparently cause danger, he has not understood my reasoning so as to find why I believed it was the best solution. He has gone forward with that judgemental mind to me based upon a false belief (he had not seen her decline my offer to let her pass), now he will be thinking that people of my stereotype (whatever that might be in his view) are self-centred and can't even give two seconds to avoid a potential accident - needless to say, he actually was fully capable of waiting for her to clear the lane, but instead, in his rage and impatience, took to pass on the opposite side of the road in order to emphasise the wrath of his blameful heart. Of course, this reflects an anger in his spirit that was brought in from another place
Yes, indeed, it is the lack of love that drives immoral behaviour - but the law of morality, we can see, is more to do with a knowledge of righteousness - it is possible for courtesy to be a self-gratifying thing, and it is possible for it to be an act of service - righteousness is the finding of that exact motivation.
At that time, you walked in the way of this world, in conformity to the ruler of the spirit who is now operating in the sons of disobedience. We too all lived among them in the cravings of our flesh,
indulging the desires of the flesh and the mind. By nature we were children of wrath, just like the others.
Ephesians 2:3
Now seeing as I have become a victim of that man's contempt, not as the result of my sin but as the result of this lady's mistake and caused by some other person further up the road who had placed that hateful spirit in him, wisdom also becomes a different topic again - neither morality nor righteousness is sufficient in itself to do justice - but if I had the wisdom at that time that I do now, I might not have chosen to spare her distress, in order that the man might have not chosen to blame the innocent.