Are guys clueless at picking up "signals"?

[Willtor]

They say 80% of all communication is non-verbal. That means I've only picked up on a maximum of 20% of what anybody has ever told me. (never mind the fact that my mind wanders, easily, so I'm sure I'm not hitting the maximum )

Willtor's Signals:

What Willtor Says/What Willtor Means

"Want to go get some dinner?"/"Want to go get some dinner?"

"I like hanging out with you."/"I like hanging out with you."

"Hussa ti woh maga."/"I find you attractive and am unable to adequately express myself in your presence."

"What's his IP address?"/"I want to see if I can crash his computer, remotely."

 

[intricatic]

They say 80% of all communication is non-verbal. That means I've only picked up on a maximum of 20% of what anybody has ever told me. (never mind the fact that my mind wanders, easily, so I'm sure I'm not hitting the maximum )

Willtor's Signals:

What Willtor Says/What Willtor Means

"Want to go get some dinner?"/"Want to go get some dinner?"

"I like hanging out with you."/"I like hanging out with you."

"Hussa ti woh maga."/"I find you attractive and am unable to adequately express myself in your presence."

"What's his IP address?"/"I want to see if I can crash his computer, remotely."

Sounds like me.

 

[Weasel7711]

"What's his IP address?"/"I want to see if I can crash his computer, remotely."

Ha ha

 

[Chaan Stines]

If by "clueless" you mean "can't read minds" then yes, I am very clueless.

 

[JPPT1974]

Tell me about it as I am clueless as heck!
LOL!

 

[Elle_For_Short]

I"m actually in favour of having a "signal interpretation cheat sheet" - I'm betting it'd be different for every girl.

For instance:
Girl rarely talks in your presence, blushes profusely, and avoids eye contact.

Girl A: Thinks you're pretty creepy, and you make her really uncomfortable.

Girl B: Really likes you, but is to shy to say anything.

Girl C: Is interested in another guy, and you happen to only see her when he's there too.

Girl D: Is ashamed to be seen in your company.

LOL!!! I AM SO GIRL B!!!

 

[Eric10]

I'm clueless. Also, if one has no clue, how can one know to react to said flirtation? =P

It's all rather confusing to me.

 

[ByLoveAndGrace]

HAHA I didn't have to try and drop any signals to my boyfriend, a good friend of ours introduced us and he really liked me!! And showed me too!! But, I can tell you from past experience, that a lot of guys won't notice the flirting and that you might as well just tell em straight up. Personally, I think it's much easier to sit back, and try and quit persuing, and just praying about it. I got out of a relationship that was almost a year and a half long, and then decided I could care less about dating, and then here a year later, I have a boyfriend that I have spent almost three months with, and I had no idea that would happen. I just prayed that God would take me in life where he wanted me.

 

[GQ Chris]

When a woman is sending out signals, I am not clueless; but if I am not interested then I am clueless.. hope that explains it

 

[Niels]

My imagination tends to get carried away. If she seems to be sending out romantic signals, I become an instant skeptic. For example, it would be very tempting to think a winking woman is flirting with me, though she probably just has something in her eye. Without empirical evidence that she is attracted to me, I will write it off as her just being friendly... or maybe something else entirely. The expectation isn't worth the disappointment.

It's not that I have a low self-esteem in this regard, but probably because I remember female friends, and even my older sisters, talking about how creepy guys would mistake friendliness for attraction etc. For whatever reason, I don't want to be perceived as a creepy guy... especially if I kind of like the woman. It seems interpreting friendliness as a romantic signal isn't usually the best way to interact with someone.

 

[OhhJim]

Guys aren't clueless at getting signals, women are clueless at giving them!

"How could he not know I like him? I totally smiled at his best friend!!:"

 

[Willtor]

Guys aren't clueless at getting signals, women are clueless at giving them!

"How could he not know I like him? I totally smiled at his best friend!!:"

"How could he not know I like him? I asked him if he liked children!"

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

lol

 

[TwistedLogic]

Some guys ARE clueless, it's true. Some are not.

If a woman is interested in a man, one of the best ways to get things started is to talk to one of his friends, and indicate that you find him to be "interesting", or "kinda cute". Nothing major, nothing scary. Or have one of your friends talk to him. Or one of your friends talks to one of his friends, etc.

This is a really good approach. It worked for me and the girl I like so it oughtta work for anyone. Of course, it can go either way so the guy could feel out the girl's feelings through a friend as well.

Definitely, one of the biggest problems for me with hinting and clues from girls is that most of the time I don't know if she's hinitng or if she's just being friendly. I'm pretty reserved so would hate to jump to the colclusion that a girl likes me when in fact she's just an outgoing person who manages to make everyone feel good.

 

[eringilmour]

You see there is a problem - I am a very friendly person and I am quite intense when I talk to people. so guys I know I have had to clear the air with b/c they have been avoiding me b/c they think that I like them - which was not the case it was just me being friendly and if I actually did like them I would speak to them as little as possible for fear of being sick on their shoes!!!

 

[renaistre]

Guys aren't clueless at getting signals, women are clueless at giving them!

"How could he not know I like him? I totally smiled at his best friend!!:"

I think you might be on to something there...

 

[OhhJim]

...if I actually did like them I would speak to them as little as possible ...

This is, actually, not uncommon behavior. I've heard other women say things like, "I found him attractive, so I stayed away from him".

I've had a couple of girlfriends who, before we got together, said negative things to me that would have scared off a smarter man. When I asked them about it later, they didn't know why they said what they did.

Sigh.

 

[Macrina]

I know, women stink at giving signals. It's because we don't want to risk our pride by being rejected, so we just want the man to go out on a limb risking all his pride to tell us how much he adores us and can't live without us, so then we can think to ourselves, "well, he's a bit clingy, isn't he?"

 

[Tenorvoice]

I know that for my self, that I am very clueles when it comes to "signals" that the opposite sex "uses". Call em dense or whatever, I guess that I am just more left brained than I think that I am. Plus I suffer from foot in mouth syndrome ( )

(use a 2x4 next time hehe)

 

[JPPT1974]

Tell me about it as I put
My foot down at times as well
More than I will ever admit!