Apathy

[indonesianpalmtree]

Hi.

I recently finished my final exams and basically, I'll have a 2 month vacation. Lately I've been a bit busy socially, and I find myself not giving God everything I can.

I read my Bible every night, then I switch off the light and pray. That's the only structural practices I have, although I do have my frequent random moments of intense religious research or prayer. I'm known to be a guilt-freak, so I know that I sometimes reject other responsibilities when I'm compelled to dedicate myself to God. I used to believe that's better than doing nothing, but it got dangerous at times because I became anti-social and introverted.

Back to the guilt thing: I'm a smoker. It isn't really a problem for me, but a little guilt pops up on the occasional cigarette. When I first converted, I completely stopped smoking for two months. Then it rollercoastered back to 3-6 a day. Now there's something you should understand about the smoking thing. I used to drink too. A lot, as a matter of fact. I restrain myself to the occasional 2-3 beers now, and I believe it's better to be sober than disillusioned - thus missing oppertunities for God. Smoking is something I plan to take slower becuase I've tried to quit drinking and smoking at the same time and crashed. One step at a time...

And so, I'm afraid that my spiritual apathy might be because I'm keeping some door open for the devil and that he could use this to block my relationship with God. It certainly doesn't seem this way, but from experience I know that tiny sin becomes big sin becomes huge sin becomes possession.

Now I only want to tell my story to give a little background. I actually only wanted to know if anyone has advice about how I can incorporate God more into my system. Any objectionable issue in my life makes me think about what God wants me to do, but I want to know what He wants, not speculate. Will He draw closer if I have more routines? Will He draw closer if I quit smoking? Is this reality based on cause and consequence or is consequence only certain after death?

Thanks for reading!

Pieter

P.S. I see myself as an active Christian and I believe I'm pretty intwined among other Christians. I see the Pastor every once and a while, and although I haven't been in church in a while, I've made up that time reading the Bible and spending time with Christian comrades.

 

[madtapa]

First, I noticed you said you haven't been to Church in a while. Though you've been trying to make up for this, I believe there is no replacement for going to Church. When you go, you are not only spending time with Christians, but worshiping God. So many times I've woken up on a Sunday not wanting to go to Church, but I will anyway because I feel I have to. When I do, it's amazing how much God speaks to my heart and gets rid of the awful attitude I had when I first woke up. I think many people find this to be true. I'm not saying that you don't go to Church for the same reasons, but I do suggest going.

As for spending time with Christians, reading the Bible, and praying, these are all good habits that bring you closer to God. But make sure that you aren't just doing it because you're supposed to. If you find yourself doing it more as a habit or a duty, pray to God to bring you closer to him during your devotional time and time with other Christians. I find I get more out of a time reading the Bible when I've prayed beforehand that God would speak to me through that time. If you're heart is not there, though, I still suggest that you continue these things. Somone once told me that even if you don't want to do it, if you do anyway, your heart will follow.

I hope you find this advice helpful. I pray that you will be successful in becoming closer to God!

 

[indonesianpalmtree]

Thank you very much madtapa. I really appreciate your contribution.

When I wrote my first post, I actually left out a bunch of details that I should have included. The first half of your reply was very helpful, but going to church isn't a problem for me. I only mentioned that I didn't go lately to show my circumstances. It's not that I don't want to go to church. I LOVE going to church. The reason I missed it is because lots of times, I'm not at home on a Sunday morning, and in our small town, that's the only time I can go. Specifically, we have two sermons: A formal, FORMAL church in the actual church building and a "happy-clappy" version with I always attend. The happy-clappy has been a bit "out of service" lately recently. The other morning I was planning on going, but only the formal sermon was there, so I decided that I should go there at least. Turns out it was the introduction of the new church-board thingy, so I went home again - although I did some Bible-studying instead. You see the situation?

Church is very powerful, but I'd rather stay home if I could learn more and interact more. The formal sermon is very...well...formal. I know the minister would have a great service, but there are too many distractions. And every Monday I have a Bible-study group which is like a mini-church I'm part of the flock, don't worry about that

Alrighty then. The apathy thing is also a bit different than I conveyed it in my first post. I guess I used the wrong word, I meant that I need to know how much discipline I should enforce on myself. Not that I don't like Bible-study and prayer, I love it! I'm wondering if I am doing it enough and if my habits might get in the way? There's probably not a set time since we all differ, but maybe if someone could make a suggestion?

Okeydokey. Thanks once again madtapa. I hope I clarified myself a bit better this time

God bless!

 

[Rafael]

Apathy sets in when we don't do the Word of God and get into some kind of service to others. The Bible says that to be a chief in the Kingdom of God is to be a servant, and all our communities need workers - doers of the Word and not just talkers. That is why we are born again unto these deeds - not just reading a little in the Bible from time to time. We need to feel a hunger and thirst for right standing with God - to want to please the lover of our souls and our Redeemer. So often, though, the world becomes our lover and the things of the world crowd out the first love of our life which is supposed to be God - Him, first, then our neighbor, as we deny ourselves, pick up our crosses and follow the Lord in the service of pouring our lives out to others in whatever gift He gives us. Exhortation and encouragement - visitations to the sick and elderly, helping fead and clothe the poor and needy of communities, letting our lights shine out in our good deeds - that when the world sees them, they glorify the Lord.
There is a lot of work to do for the Lord, and guilt would not be from Him, but conviction to get up and do the things He wants may be. Guilt is fear, not envolving love, while conviction comes with great reward and because we do respond to love.

Jeremiah 22:16 He defended the cause of the POOR & NEEDY, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to KNOW me! declares the Lord.

I JOHN 4:7-13 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and KNOWS God. Whoever does not love does not KNOW God, because God is love.

I JOHN 3:16-19 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with ACTIONS and TRUTH. This then is how we KNOW that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us.

Matthew 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

EPHESIANS 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to DO GOOD WORKS, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

HEBREWS 10:24 And let us consider one another how to stimulate and provoke one another to love an, GOOD DEEDS and noble activities. 25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

 

[indonesianpalmtree]

Hi!

Thanks for the reply raphe. I understand what you're saying. I guess a part of me does feel like I have an obligation rather than a desire to do good works, yet a great thing about my experiences of being born-again is that I have a phenominal desire to help (in other words love) others. All my life I've had a subtle empathy for those around me, but this developed so much since my conversion. It's not a chore anymore, but an honour. I want to help. I want to make life easier for others. I set my own interests aside much more than I used to because I know it's God's will and love inside me.

The actual worshipping of God, on a personal level, is what I'm concerned about. I'm wondering if I'm doing enough when I'm alone. When there isn't someone around I can help. Again I failed to clarify my problem, because I don't think of worship as a duty. I have that inherent motivation to please God in my heart. Otherwise I wouldn't have spent this year seeking God.

My relationship concerning God with others I believe is my best. I'm not condescending or arrogant with people who seek answers from me. I believe I'm a good example when in a position to influence others. My problem lies with myself. Am I letting God guide me when I'm alone? How do I know when He blesses me for private praise? Can one person praise God through works if, say, I'm trapped on a tropical island alone?

Does the Bible say anything about the needs of the individual? Self-respect? Being a former highschool student, that's not one of my strong points right now. Assurance in yourself is probably necessary in a relationship with God, but it feels wrong - kinda like "stealing God's thunder" so to speak There's no-one to divert my fortitude to when I'm alone (except, of course, God, but I distinguish His praise from that which I bestow on people for obvious reasons), so should I serve myself then?

Basically, to what degree is a person able to worship God alone? How much can we "give" ourselves to God without conflicting with the Word by putting ourselves at a disadvantage? That's what I meant by disciplining myself (Hope I conveyed it correctly this time Man, I can be really vague sometimes, huh?).

God bless and thanks for reading!

 

[Rafael]

Hi!

Thanks for the reply raphe. I understand what you're saying. I guess a part of me does feel like I have an obligation rather than a desire to do good works, yet a great thing about my experiences of being born-again is that I have a phenominal desire to help (in other words love) others. All my life I've had a subtle empathy for those around me, but this developed so much since my conversion. It's not a chore anymore, but an honour. I want to help. I want to make life easier for others. I set my own interests aside much more than I used to because I know it's God's will and love inside me.

The actual worshipping of God, on a personal level, is what I'm concerned about. I'm wondering if I'm doing enough when I'm alone. When there isn't someone around I can help. Again I failed to clarify my problem, because I don't think of worship as a duty. I have that inherent motivation to please God in my heart. Otherwise I wouldn't have spent this year seeking God.

My relationship concerning God with others I believe is my best. I'm not condescending or arrogant with people who seek answers from me. I believe I'm a good example when in a position to influence others. My problem lies with myself. Am I letting God guide me when I'm alone? How do I know when He blesses me for private praise? Can one person praise God through works if, say, I'm trapped on a tropical island alone?

Does the Bible say anything about the needs of the individual? Self-respect? Being a former highschool student, that's not one of my strong points right now. Assurance in yourself is probably necessary in a relationship with God, but it feels wrong - kinda like "stealing God's thunder" so to speak There's no-one to divert my fortitude to when I'm alone (except, of course, God, but I distinguish His praise from that which I bestow on people for obvious reasons), so should I serve myself then?

Basically, to what degree is a person able to worship God alone? How much can we "give" ourselves to God without conflicting with the Word by putting ourselves at a disadvantage? That's what I meant by disciplining myself (Hope I conveyed it correctly this time Man, I can be really vague sometimes, huh?).

God bless and thanks for reading!

The self worth we have is evident by our being alive and part of God's creation. After mankind fell into sin and death, we became disconnected from God and objects that were worthy of His wrath, but that is not what He did, as you know. He instead gave His life in the flesh for us as Jesus.
The Bible tells us that the self has to die in order for us to find our true life in God. Self is denied and we pick up our cross and follow the Lord. Many take the second commandment, to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, to be a self-esteem builder, but is not about self-esteem. Our esteem comes from and is in the righteousness we have in our Savior, Jesus.
To love oneself has to be interpreted by the scriptures. The Bible says that no man hates his own flesh, but nourishes and clothes it. We love our selfs in this simple way, and Jesus asks about this when He returns. He will ask us if we have fed Him when hungry and clothed Him when He was naked. He will go on and ask if we visited Him while He was sick or lonely in prison or is we gave Him shelter even when He was a stranger. So love of self is the simple love we display towards our bodies naturally, and the second commandment tells us that we are our neighbors keeper to see after their basic needs of body. The self becomes lost in order to find the new "self" or life in Christ. My signature verse says this same thing (Gal. 2:20) This is what baptism symbolizes - the death of the old man and the rising out of the water or buiral in resurrection to the new life and new creature we are in Christ.
Read Romans chapter 7, where Paul tells us that we have a problem with the old nature and Galatians 5:17, where he also speaks of the battle that goes on between the flesh which leads to death and the spirit that leads us to life. We are to submit ourselves to the desire of the spirit that God gives us by the new birth and be led by His Holy Spirit of truth. Self is to die and be denied.
I'm not sure about this aloneness you are speaking of, but sometimes God calls us to times of stillness and isolation in order to prepare us for work ahead, much like He did Moses or even Joseph, whose life had many trials before He was made a ruler over many men, only under Pharoah. Eventually, we come together to help others and be God's arms and legs of love and mercy in this world. Self becomes absorbed by the love of God and His will for us in this life as we are poured out, being filled by God as His vessels of honor - to be filled with His Spirit and love so that we can share with others the words and blessings of true life.

Ephesians 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Luke 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

Ro 7:18 I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can’t make myself do right. I want to, but I can’t.

Gal. 5:17 The old sinful nature loves to do evil, which is just opposite from what the Holy Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are opposite from what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, and your choices are never free from this conflict.

Ro 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.

Co 5:17 What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun!