Anyone struggle with their hindsight?

[Lady Bug]

One of those days where hindsight gets the better of me. I was driving past a couple sorority houses for the past couple days on my way home (it's the shortest route home from the library) and saw a bunch of girls sitting on the front lawn. I think of my days in college - and sometimes I feel that if I could do things all over again, I would have done things differently, but I don't know exactly how. Seeing these girls did a few things to me - lower my self-esteem, for one. I hate struggling with wishing I looked like the stereotypical sorority girl or something. I didn't care as much how I looked in college because my academics took such precedence that it took a toll on the formation of friendships and relationships. Now I wish I could have learned to budget my time accordingly so I could have more memories from college - I just don't have memories of friends - or much of anything except excessive studying. I also wish I were not a commuter student - I did not form friendship this way because when you are this kind of student - other people just come and go so much easier, at least it seems to me. You can't make friends easily this way.

It just brought pangs of nostalgia and regret for whatever reasons. I don't know why I can't be satisfied with being a sweetheart and not having regrets about loosening up a little back in college. I also wish I could have become a Christian a lot sooner than at the age of 27 - but I guess this is the way it was meant to be.

Does this resonate with anyone?

 

[Lady Bug]

anyone visit this thread yet?

 

[Ariel]

Yes, Ladybug, I looked at your post and reflected, "Me too!" But then I thought about it again--

I also studied hard in college. I never went to the sorority/fraternity events I could have been part of. I never drank. I never smoked pot--even though it was offered more than once. I never flunked my courses. I never dropped out. I never messed up my mind with LSD.

I graduated with high honors. I met and married someone who was also a good student, who also didn't do drugs or get drunk. He was a graduate student, not a fraternity member. Today we have six children, and a marriage that has spanned 37 years. We are still very much in love, and...we still don't drink or do drugs.


I am not saying that you may have ended up drinking. But at my college, drinking, etc, was part of the social life of frats and sororities.

Sometimes I think God protects us...

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

if it got started on hindsight it would have a meltdown.
it wishes God had taken it somewhere good when it first met Him instead of allowing it to stumble into a legalistic sect with a cult-like mentality which did not even ordain women. talk about a really ugly, negative first template for Christianity ... and then to end up demon possessed and get expelled from undergrad studies in its junior year (from one of their colleges of course) as a result ... all because it had the audacity to be terrified out of its naive little mind and actually want HELP ... ................ it bes only 19, too, as it started college at 16-goin-on-17.......

.................. ehhhhnnn nah, we won't go there. Take heart at least you bes young enough to still go back to school and do something new.

 

[Johnnz]

We would all do much better with another shot at life.

A man was once asked how what was the key to wisdom. He replied "Making good decisions". Then he was asked "How do you learn to make wise decisions?" He replied "By making bad ones".

I can identify with that.

John
NZ

 

[FaithfulWife]

I can agree with what Johnnz has said.

In my life I think I lived what you are looking back on with regret. I went far from my family in college, and I partied and had friends, and lived "on the wild side. I didn't do well in school (although I'm smart enough...just didn't feel like doing any work) and I ended up with a job, partying, and getting pregnant. THEN I met the man I'd end up marrying who ended up leaving me so he could continue his affairs! Nah, my life as a young person was pretty much one "bad decision" after another!

The funny thing is that I look back on the way that I lived with regret because I had a great opportunity for education and did not take full advantage of it. I regret that I married someone rather than waiting for the man G-d had for me. I was young, foolish, headstrong, and sinful--and that's just the truth.

BUT...I would not be the person I am today if I had not lived that life. I would not have learned how to survive physical abuse, how to survive an affair, how to deal with PTSD or recover after a rape...none of that. And G-d would not be using me here NOW if none of that had occurred!! I can't honestly say that I'm "happy" those things happened to me, because I'm not. But I did learn a lot of wisdom by experiencing the bad choices in my life and in a bad situation, G-d is graciously using it for good.

Ladybug, you are who you are for a reason. I can't honestly say that I know why you are who you are but I do have confidence that G-d knows and that He has given you what is necessary to use some of the regrets of your life for good.


~Faithful

P.S. Waaaaaaaaaay off topic: Hi Moriah! Nice to see you again. I've missed you.

 

[Lady Bug]

Yes, Ladybug, I looked at your post and reflected, "Me too!" But then I thought about it again--

I also studied hard in college. I never went to the sorority/fraternity events I could have been part of. I never drank. I never smoked pot--even though it was offered more than once. I never flunked my courses. I never dropped out. I never messed up my mind with LSD.

I graduated with high honors. I met and married someone who was also a good student, who also didn't do drugs or get drunk. He was a graduate student, not a fraternity member. Today we have six children, and a marriage that has spanned 37 years. We are still very much in love, and...we still don't drink or do drugs.


I am not saying that you may have ended up drinking. But at my college, drinking, etc, was part of the social life of frats and sororities.

Sometimes I think God protects us...

You sound just like I was in college - minus the being offered pot and having met and married someone (sad face at the marriage part - not the pot part)

if it got started on hindsight it would have a meltdown.
it wishes God had taken it somewhere good when it first met Him instead of allowing it to stumble into a legalistic sect with a cult-like mentality which did not even ordain women. talk about a really ugly, negative first template for Christianity ... and then to end up demon possessed and get expelled from undergrad studies in its junior year (from one of their colleges of course) as a result ... all because it had the audacity to be terrified out of its naive little mind and actually want HELP ... ................ it bes only 19, too, as it started college at 16-goin-on-17.......

.................. ehhhhnnn nah, we won't go there. Take heart at least you bes young enough to still go back to school and do something new.

sorry you couldn't finish college I don't have the money to back to school - I need experience.

We would all do much better with another shot at life.

A man was once asked how what was the key to wisdom. He replied "Making good decisions". Then he was asked "How do you learn to make wise decisions?" He replied "By making bad ones".

I can identify with that.

John
NZ

Yeah - sometimes we have to learn in difficult ways.

I can agree with what Johnnz has said.

In my life I think I lived what you are looking back on with regret. I went far from my family in college, and I partied and had friends, and lived "on the wild side. I didn't do well in school (although I'm smart enough...just didn't feel like doing any work) and I ended up with a job, partying, and getting pregnant. THEN I met the man I'd end up marrying who ended up leaving me so he could continue his affairs! Nah, my life as a young person was pretty much one "bad decision" after another!

The funny thing is that I look back on the way that I lived with regret because I had a great opportunity for education and did not take full advantage of it. I regret that I married someone rather than waiting for the man G-d had for me. I was young, foolish, headstrong, and sinful--and that's just the truth.

BUT...I would not be the person I am today if I had not lived that life. I would not have learned how to survive physical abuse, how to survive an affair, how to deal with PTSD or recover after a rape...none of that. And G-d would not be using me here NOW if none of that had occurred!! I can't honestly say that I'm "happy" those things happened to me, because I'm not. But I did learn a lot of wisdom by experiencing the bad choices in my life and in a bad situation, G-d is graciously using it for good.

Ladybug, you are who you are for a reason. I can't honestly say that I know why you are who you are but I do have confidence that G-d knows and that He has given you what is necessary to use some of the regrets of your life for good.


~Faithful

P.S. Waaaaaaaaaay off topic: Hi Moriah! Nice to see you again. I've missed you.

They say that sometimes out of something bad can come something good. I wish I could get to that stage of thinking - though there may be examples in my life that I don't realize in which this school of thought applies.

Anyway - I'm on the fence about the whole hindsight thing - because in my heart I know that I'm not the partying type. I don't know - I hate the feeling of having missed out on whatever - I certainly don't have regrets about missing out on rowdy stuff or anything. I just wish I had met more people. Being (or having been) a commuter student took a huge, huge toll on forming friendships/meaningful relationships. I think that seeing what I saw on the campus reinforced my regret over not having done enough to get in touch with people. That hurts a lot.

 

[Angeldove97]

Hi Sweetie,
My years at college were a mix of up's and down's. Started off really bad, then I lost any sense of being a Christian for awhile (my fault, not God's)... then I settled myself down, then stayed a Christian but did more socializing, but then settled on stopping all the socializing and wanting to be alone. So up's and down's with wanting to be alone, going all out, stabilizing, socializing more often, and then realizing that I am a private person and don't really like going out all that often.

Take it as a lesson learned: I honestly do think you know what you want your life to be--- its just those steps to get there are so confusing. But I think you just need to pick one goal and go after it. Don't let any excuse get in your way--- and please remember we're often our biggest threat to a successful life (I know I am to myself).

And hey, random thought, if you still want to do something creative wise, why not go back to college in the sense that you help out the college community some way. Most colleges even have religious communities (mine had the Newman parish for college students) on them--- perhaps you could strengthen your faith and have a little fun too.

[I know your parents might freak out--- but this is your life Sweetie. You need to start shining that light that is coming from your heart to the whole world. Love you!!! ]