anyone scratch?

[shoproxy05]

anyone here only a self mutilator (not a cutter or recovering cutter). i scratch my wrists with my fingernails or a key. enough to leave thin red welts on my wrists that hurt but completely disappear within 24 hours. i feel like its a good alternative to cutting because its really hard to break the skin, even with a key, so i cant bleed. it's just enough so that i can feel the pain and focus on the red welt instead of what's going on inside. but my boyfriend got mad when he snuck up behind me one day while i was doing it. we were in a fight and i ran out to my car and i went to unlock it when i just dragged the key across my skin, and i didnt think he saw, but he did. he was really upset and disappointed in me. he has already known that im depressed and have been goin to therapy since june but hes mad ive let it "get this bad". i personally think hes making it a bigger deal than it is. any other self mutilators who can sympathize? is scratching really that close to cutting? im too afraid to cut, but i guess i can see myself, in the drama of the moment, using a razor instead of a key....i dunno.....anyone go to therapy? if you do, does your therapist know you scratch? how big a deal did they make of it? i go to therapy, and im afraid to let my therapist know because I don't want her to go berzerk and tell my mom. im not cutting, i don't even break the skin. i kno all about the confidentiality, like only if someones hurting me, im gonna hurt someone, or if im a danger to myself. but what exactly does a "danger to myself" mean? does scratching count? does cutting count? i know suicide does. but i dont want to die. i scratch exactly for that reason. its like a pressure valve. things build up and hurt so bad that i feel if i dont release some of it, i'll do something even more stupid.
<>< roxy

 

[guitar_gurl07]

Hey shoproxy05 i was waiting to say they have this problem...bc i do and its a big problem and habit for me...i do also cut..but i more scratch myself that cut bc i do it in school...which is where i am most of the time...:/ i have self injured for about 1 ur now... well to answer some of ur questions if i can remember them...
what does a danger to myself mean..well a danger to yourself is exactly what it says...u are dangerous to ur self, meaning you could intentionally hurt yourself, kill yourself, or something like that...
yes, i go 2 therapy, well did, now that i moved i havent gone in awhile, actually my 1st time is 2morrow since may....
is scratching close 2 cutting..umm..im not sure really...my therapist sure did treat it that way, mayb it was because i did it alot...hm...sry i cant really answer that question...
and yes, my therapist knew i scratched..it was bc i actually was like suicidal and stuff and my parents didnt know, but then one day my bestest friend told on me...and ya i was mad, but now i think her all the time for it...ive been in a psychiatric hosp. 2 times now for it also...
and ya, the confidentialitly thing, i wish my shrink would have done it, she always told my parents what we talked about (i hated it!) ahh she made me so mad by doin that...
plz dont kill yourself, or even come close to thinking about doin it..its not worth it, belive me ive tried 3 times, and every time, i got worse it never helped..ppl always were looking down on me bc of my problems...
well, i hope this answered a lot of ur questions, i m sry if i missed any..if u need nemorehelp, just pm me or im me...i have msn, yahoo, and aim...im prayin for ya!
~hAyLeE

 

[Deamiter]

I used to scratch among other things (I was rather creative) and honestly, there's little difference -- it all falls under self-mutilation. It IS a coping mechanism that works rather well so it's hard to stop on your own. However, as a coping mechanism, self-mutilation isn't a good long-term solution because you get desensitized to it, and you always will have to do more just like with illegal drugs.

Obviously, scratching isn't immediately as dangerous as cutting as it's almost impossible to permenantly harm yourself by accident. At the same time, you should seek help for it. I would ask your therapist bluntly what a danger to yourself would mean. You can even ask about cutting (when she asks you whether you do it yourself, you can still say no) or other behaviors. Ask her if she would tell your parents. She wants to help you without betraying your trust, but at the same time she DOES have a legal obligation to do certain things as you're still a minor. Ask her specifically what she would do, and go from there.

I am absolutely certain that you wouldn't be hospitalized for scratching or even cutting (by themselves) as my therapist has known about my problems for years. My therapist asks to see what I've done, and we work on ways to keep from doing it in the future, but as long as I'm making progress (or trying hard to make progress) he doesn't "go bezerk" he just does his job and works to help me deal with life.

Again, ask your therapist specific questions. You WILL get more of the specific therapy you need if she knows more of your specific problems. You will also recover much faster with the support of your parents, but I understand why you might not want that (unfortunately, I kept my parents out of my recovery for two years). In asking the questions, your therapist will at least know where to go with your therapy, even if you don't end up telling her anything specific.

God be with you!

 

[TheMainException]

Dear sister, I understand what you go through. I have to say that this scratching is not the best alternative, because it is so close to the real thing. But I must say that I'm glad that you haven't gotten to the cutting. Let's keep it that way. As long as you aren't drawing blood, I don't think that you are a harm to yourself at the current moment. You don't want to die so you aren't really harming yourself. I don't think that your bf really understands this and unless he goes through it he really may not ever completely comprehend it. Have pity on him. As for confidentiality, your therapist (in my standards) shouldn't tell anyone. But in order to be healed of this completely. You have to be open and honest no matter how bad it is and how hard it is for you. Trust God in this...keep working towards the prize. He loves you and so do I.

 

[Deamiter]

Having been there (and gone through recovery), I must respectfully disagree. You cannot think of cutting and scratching as a different thing. Any time you NEED to harm yourself just to survive, you are in danger, though even cutting doesn't translate directly to the sort of IMMINANT danger that would get you into a hospital.

Along with your therapist, you can make other pressure valves, and though you will need to use this one until they're fully in place, soon you will have healthy ones to replace the self-harm.

I don't understand LAWise when she says, "You don't want to die so you aren't really harming yourself." In the three years I was cutting, often daily, I only tried to kill myself once. However, I certainly harmed myself every day by cutting, and when I didn't cut, I'd harm myself by saying I'm worthless or stupid etc...

The truth is that you ARE harming yourself, and you are not just going to get better on your own which is why you're in therapy! However, after having lived through self-harm for years, I am GREATLY encouraged by how you are dealing with this problem. You're fighting -- not only to keep from escalating (into cutting) but also you're looking for help for the scratching!

 

[bliz]

Cutting and scratching are the same thing. They are both self-mutilation. They are done for the same reasons and the same internal pain is what causes people to choose this action.

I would be extreamly surprised if your therapist said anything to your Mom! Cutting or scratching is not putting yourself or anyone else in danger and that is the only reason why a therapist can break your confidence. Your therapist may ask to check to see that your wounds are not becoming infected, but I think this will remain a matter of discussion between the two of you.

I encourage you to discuss this. Talk therapy has very little impact on aspects of your life that you don't talk about!

 

[guitar_gurl07]

Cutting or scratching is not putting yourself or anyone else in danger

I dissagree with this... ..especially the cutting thing....but thats just my 2 cents...:/

~hAyLeE

 

[<<dAnNi>>]

Cutting and scratching are the same thing. They are both self-mutilation. They are done for the same reasons and the same internal pain is what causes people to choose this action.

I agree with this statement. Though I have never self-injured, I have had friends who have, and I have also researched heaps because of my concern for them. I know how hard it is for them, and so I can understand how hard this is for you too.

I just pray that you stay strong, and stay assertive and God will get you thru this. And I also think you need to tell someone about the SI so that way you are getting some kind of support and hopefully an encouragement to stop this behaviour. Again, this is easy for me to say, because I have never been there...but yeah...thinking of ya!

God Bless
Danni

 

[bliz]

"Cutting" has become a popular short hand for self mutilation. Some people literally cut their skin, with a knife or razor blade. Some people burn themselves. Others scratch, drawing blood and/or pick at scabs. These are all different variations of the same thing. These are all ways of coping with internal pain by causing external, physical pain. Some people pull out their hair or eye brows or eye lashes. Other people punch holes in walls, or other people's faces, or get drunk or have sex with anything that moves.

"Cutters" are not inherently interested in ending their lives. Some "cutters" are suicidal, but at about the same percentage as in the general population. "Cutters" are not intereteed in blood loss or even in cutting deeply, though some do and emergency treatment is sometimes required, but the vast majority of self mutilators never need medical attention. The greatest threat to the health and safety of a "cutter" is infection.

I am not suggesting that this is a benign activity that should be ignored. As choices go, it is never a threat to others as some aways of coping with pain can be and seldom is a serious threat to the individual. But it is a sign of incredibly emotional pain and that does need to be adressed. Counseling can be very helpful and I strongly suggest that nyone who struggles with this problem seek some out. Once upon a time few people even knew that this was done, but now people are more aware.

Some people find that they "outgrow" it as they gain better control over their own lives. Others find it is an activitiy that will reoccour throughout their lives in times of high stress. It creeps some people out, which is why others tend to over-react.