Anyone in a relationship struggle with Same Sex Attraction?

[tjwallace2]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year, and she knows about my same-sex attraction...and we talk about it often, but i'm interested to hear if that's common and if there are other couples who can offer advice in that area, or books that helped them to process it better with one another?

Thanks

 

[The Nihilist]

*tumbleweeds*

I don't know that you're going to find a lot of dudes who are going to want to talk about being in to other dudes.

 

[Bampot]

My boyfriend has never brought anything of the sort up and neither have other guys I've know who are in a relationship.

Are you attracted to your girlfriend as well?

 

[explodingboy]

Well I might as well pop my head in hear and say hi,

I don't find my same sex attraction a struggle though. My other half knows about it as I'm open to her with pretty much everything, and it's something that doesn't cause any trouble. I get to go flirt with men, she finds it cute.

Best bit of advice I can think of is two fold, don't hide how you feel from her, and don't fake feelings towards another to hide what you are. (Not saying that you necessarily need to break up and get a man, but it's not fair to use someone to cover up your own issues. Plus its not hard to find stories of marriages breaking up because of same sex love affairs as party 1 tries to find what party 2 can't provide.)

 

[Luther073082]

I don't have any same sex attractions thankfully.

I think you need to determine if your attractions are exclusive to men or to both men and women.

If they are to both men and women then you can stay with your GF and get married. However you have to ensure that you don't lust after men or other women (that you are not married to.)

However if you really are just exclusivly attracted to men then you need to let your GF go first. And then you need to remain celibate for the rest of your life. Homosexuality is a tough cross to carry.

I'm not freaked out by someone who has that problem. But it is a cross to carry and it would be heretical for someone to teach that you deserve any less love as a person because of your problem.

But it must be put in a proper place. It is a problem, it is not normal. I have epilepsy, if I don't take drugs regularly I put myself at risk for seizures. Thats not normal. I also have problems. Having a problem does not mean you are a bad person.

Because of that you must in either case avoid becomming involved with other men. Do not let worldly people convince you that since you feel like that, and its not your fault then it must be right. That is not true, pedophiles feel like having sex with children and its not always their fault that they feel like that. It doesn't make sex with children right. (I'm not compairing the seriousness of the two, but only the situation.)

I would pray about it. You can also if you wish attempt to try to get help for it. But I will not recommend any sort of treatments as I do not know enough about them in order to recommend them. However if you find one and you feel as though you coudl receive help from it, then it is your choice as to if you wish to try it.

God's blessings.

 

[faerieevaH]

I only know of one case of a young man who at first was atracted to girls. Then he found himself atracted to men. Then he claimed he was atracted to both. (this didn't go as fast as it sounds here, it was something he tried to figure out over the course of more than a decade. It wasn't just 'poof' I feel this or that.)
In the end he says he could have feelings of atraction for both men and women. But the person that caught his heart was a woman. He recently married her after a three year relationship.

I fear I can not offer any books on the subject. If you are truely atracted to your girlfriend, I doubt this will be more of a problem than it is for other men who only have oposite sex atractions to stay true to their wives. That is what I think however. I would put more stock in the advice of someone who shares those feelings.

 

[ThexUsedxDZxSKIDZ]

Both my both me and my boyfriend have same sex attractions , does not affect the relationship in anyway

 

[goldenviolet]

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[tjwallace2]

I don't think I'd necessarily agree on all parts of what is being said here. I do find myself attracted to who my girlfriend is...not necessarily sexually attracted..but I don't think that is what my marriage is going to be based on anyway...but I think once it happens, the physical and emotional attraction will grow hand-in-hand...it's more of a thing about trusting in the Lord to provide for my relationships. I have thought about being celibate...and that could be what the Lord wants for me...but right now I think I'm in the right place. However, I would disagree that anyone who has same-sex attraction needs to immediately break up with their significant others and remain celibate forever...I just think that's to say you have an issue and you can't put enough faith in the Lord to change your situation. I trust that the Lord will change my situation if He wants. I pray about it...and He can do what He wants when He wants...I just have to make myself available to that plan. So we'll see...I was just interested in knowing if others had experienced this.

 

[dave712]

Look up exodus ministires they have a number books listed on thier site which u might find helpful. U might want t oconsider contacting them too they should provide some advive and whatever about guys with ssa and how they have developed relationships with girls and all

 

[Reiki9]

Sometimes situations like this make us not to avoid to undergo depression. People suffering from depression seem to float from one day to the next, then suddenly plunge into their mental undertow, or just as quickly snap out of dark mind-clouds. For many, depression's tragic episodes can go on for years. A lot of times medical experts can barely explain depression's causes and mechanisms, making a cure seem so far away.