Anyone have some advice?

[Danyael]

Hey out there to anyone who might be able to help..... I have recently recieved a very strong calling into the missionary field, feels incredibly strongly that God wants me to do long term missionary work in South America.... problem is, my wife is having alot of touble with the idea... ok, basically she would not be able to handle the conditions... what should I do? I don't want to ignore the calling of God, but yet, must preserve my marriage too.... very confused....

 

[ElElohe]

Hey out there to anyone who might be able to help..... I have recently recieved a very strong calling into the missionary field, feels incredibly strongly that God wants me to do long term missionary work in South America.... problem is, my wife is having alot of touble with the idea... ok, basically she would not be able to handle the conditions... what should I do? I don't want to ignore the calling of God, but yet, must preserve my marriage too.... very confused....

Don't go unless you go together.

If it is of God, you'll go and you will go together. I would suggest that in the meantime you begin doing things that will give you an advantage if the Lord allows you to go. Start off by finding a Perspectives class (www.perspectives.org) you can attend. Start praying though Operation World or Joshua Project. Join your church's missions team. Begin learning another language. Start giving to a missionary in an area or among a people group that interests you (of course this should be a mutual decision as well.)

Can I ask why you feel drawn to S.A.?

My wife is very much a girly girl, and can't stand dirt or bugs . . . but she still went to Cameroon for a month. And learned that God gave her the grace to live in that environment. When it comes to how much you acclimate to the culture you will be ministering too, it will vary. Hudson Taylor was the first to popularize this idea, dressing like the Chinese he was preaching to. It was scandalous at first, but makes perfect sense.

But like I said it will depend on the culture. Some cultures think Americans are positively stupid for moving to their country and living as squalid as they have to, because (of course) Americans have money. And still other times western missionaries have built mansions overseas when they shouldn't have. I've heard one story that while a missionary family was home on their first furlough, their elaborate house was burned down by the locals!

Be patient. You're certainly not the only one in this situation! And as you learn your wife might begin to see that being a missionary cross-culturally isn't all the stereotypes make it out to be--bugs, and jungles, and heat and disease (although these are often real dangers). A lot of missions focus these days is in the big cities, because so many of the unreached cultures are coming to the urban areas looking for work.

 

[HumbleMan]

I agree that if God is calling you, He will call both of you. He won't cause dissension in a marriage.

Hook up with a short term team going to SA and go for a week or two, and see if this is really the calling God has for you.

I hope it is, because SA (and Central America) need more Christian missionaries. There is a bad mix of Catholicism and paganism/animism down there, and a growing marxist mentality.

What I've started doing (because I felt just as you do, but toward CA) is keeping in contact with various missionaries down there, promoting their needs back here, trying to get supplies and donations up for them, and things of that nature. It helps me to know that I'm doing something, but also keeping my family in harmony.

I'll be praying for you. Please keep us informed on what you're doing.

 

[Danyael]

Thanks to those who gave their advice, and sound advice at that! I will continue to pray about the situation, and to talk it over with my wife... I still feel
I am meant to go, and she is still reluctant, but in time, I know God will bring us to a mutual commitment, perhaps short missions rather than long term... but no matter what, I pray that it is always God's Will that shall be done. Thank you all again for your advice and prayers!

 

[Inperfected]

God will not break you up. YOu have decided to marry her, and that commitment MUST be held to. Don't keep pressuring, but pray for God to have his own way... NOt specifically for you to go.

Sometimes by marrying we give up the chance of mission work, so far i kno i will be when i marry, but you have to realise that.

 

[refredo]

I think you should try taking this problem to the one that has called you as well as to we your fellow believers. Try to read about William Carey or any other guys that the Lord called to missions. Above all pray for your wife that the Lord can soften her heart to go with you to do His work.

All the best!

 

[danlutgen]

Hey out there to anyone who might be able to help..... I have recently recieved a very strong calling into the missionary field, feels incredibly strongly that God wants me to do long term missionary work in South America.... problem is, my wife is having alot of touble with the idea... ok, basically she would not be able to handle the conditions... what should I do? I don't want to ignore the calling of God, but yet, must preserve my marriage too.... very confused....

I once felt called to missions also. My wife was not willing to go. I still haven't gone and my wife still won't go. God doesn't want you to go if your wife doesn't change. Its as easy as this- PRAY. That God changes her or you! Surrender to go but wait on God. Sometimes its hard to have zeal but have to be patient for family sake.
If you don't go you can have a prayer ministry or serve here to aid missions.

 

[WAB]

Danyael.... After having spent 24 years on the so-called foreign misssion field, and experiencing many deliverances, the best advice i can give is what an old cowboy told us many years ago...... "Bloom where your'e planted!" And then trust the Lord to direct your path. WAB

 

[WAB]

P.S. If you do not have peace about it... don't go. "And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative) [giving praise to God always]."

I know the Amplified Bible is a bit awkward to read at times, but a thorough investigation of the Greek has shown that the above translation of Colossians 3:15 is right on. And.... our own experience has verified it.

May our Wonderful Savior enable you to be obedient to WHATEVER He calls you to do.
WAB

 

[WAB]

P.P.S. Guess I had better proof-read before sending these reply thoughts off... (double "in that").
Shalom.... WAB

 

[bertie]

The above posts contain a lot of sound advice,Sti;ll there is nothing to stop you learning spanish,studying about the countries down there and steeping your thoughts on mission work till your spouse agrees.There is a possibility that there is mission work that is closer to home that you can do to become more proficient and familiar with the task.If your spouse is agreeable to participate in this its a way to get started, and she may surprise you with her zeal once she gets going at it with you..all things in humility by prayer and supplication to God....you know that you will not be dissapointed by the Lord if you truly seek service the way will be opened unto you to fullfill your call......It will be Gods way though and maybe not what you anticipate..

 

[AnthonyE1778]

Hey out there to anyone who might be able to help..... I have recently recieved a very strong calling into the missionary field, feels incredibly strongly that God wants me to do long term missionary work in South America.... problem is, my wife is having alot of touble with the idea... ok, basically she would not be able to handle the conditions... what should I do? I don't want to ignore the calling of God, but yet, must preserve my marriage too.... very confused....

In my very humble opinion, life is short, yet long at the same time. I am not saying that you should waste time, but rather give your wife some time and let it settle in. Second of all, don't go unless you go together. If you end up not going together, it cannot be God's will.

 

[quarter21]

Being currently on the field... with little experience (only 6 months), taking missions classes as well.
I have to agree, take perspectives... you will learn much about the mistakes of the past so that you won't fall into them and will follow the guiding of the Holy Spirit.

May I also suggest, or ask if your wife is willing to do short term? GFM has a short term internship program open to all ages in the summer... lasting two months to get a taste of ministry on the field. Just curiuos.....God bless!

I also agree.... do not go if your wife is not willing,... more important is unity. God bless!