anyone have any insight?

[JacquelineDeane55]

I am sorry you are feeling this way, I will pray for your healing. Peace, brother.

 

[JacquelineDeane55]

razzelflabben , are you hungry? Do you need me to make you some food? I am sorry but your post is worrying me, I want everyone to be well. You are not really starving, are you? I can't live with the knowledge that other people around me are suffering. Knowing that I could do something about it.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I am sorry you are feeling this way, I will pray for your healing. Peace, brother.

Hi; I'm sure razzelflabben appreciates your words; razzelflabben is a she, by the way.

 

[razzelflabben]

razzelflabben , are you hungry? Do you need me to make you some food? I am sorry but your post is worrying me, I want everyone to be well. You are not really starving, are you? I can't live with the knowledge that other people around me are suffering. Knowing that I could do something about it.

I'm fine, at least as much as I can be...struggling with heart issues today which is more important than food at the moment. IT's all okay, just venting in this thread. thanks though

 

[razzelflabben]

I guess the bottom line is that I will never learn to keep my mouth shut. My youngest just went off like a lunatic because I said that God had not yet revealed himself to him. He said, no, you aren't listening to me. I just question everything I see until I am convinced. I said, yes I get that but in relation to that you have not yet seen the God I have seen. No he yelled, you just aren't listening to me, nasty words nasty words I just haven't seen evidence that convinces me one way or the other yet.

Oy isn't that what I just said...ah well, as I said, I will never learn to keep my mouth shut. Even coming here to my thread that I turned into a place to vent has caused some pain which was never my intent. God does what He does and I am willing to live in that, no excuses. It is brutal at the moment and growing in intensity but it is God who sustains, equips, and strengthens us and in that we will learn to live and trust no matter what comes. I would that some of this would go away, I am tired beyond words and frustrated while tending to a broken heart, but so what? Seriously, none of that changes what God wants to do in us and through us. The goal/purpose is in God's hand and when He reveals that to us we will be whole. I will purpose to say nothing more here so as not to burden anyone. Thanks you to everyone who offered kind words.

 

[razzelflabben]

For anyone reading this, please forgive me for once again opening my mouth. What I am about to say is not intended in any way to cause you grief. I simply am beginning to figure some of this out and I wanted to share that. This morning as my health issues reared their ugly head and threatened to send me to the ER and back to the Dr. care that escalated things in the first place, I was praying to my Lord and King and it was in that prayer that I figured out what I am struggling so hard about with all of this. I WANT TO BE HEARD. I have no right to want this for myself, we are after all called to humility. But I want to be heard and I want to know I am heard none the less. Not just by others but by God as well. I want to feel like I have a right to my own voice, to my thoughts, opinions, ideas, and yes, even to the things that God is teaching me.

I recently got off the phone with a woman who not only loves to talk but talks so hard and fast that all you can do most of the time is just listen and place ah hu is the right places. My situation with my daughter escalated when I said that what I wanted was for her to reflect back in some way what my problem is so that we can avoid more arguments in the future. I didn't even care if she apologized or not, all I wanted was some form of understanding. The forum issues are no different. I couldn't care less if you agree with me or not, just put forth some effort to hear what I am saying and in that understand something about me, anything about me. Growing up, no one listened to me and I took it. I'm tired of not being heard, I'm tired of not being allowed a voice. I'm tired of people only calling when they have an issue they want to vent about or ask advice about. I am a human being with feelings and emotions and all, and once in a while I want to be able to say, I AM HURTING...I AM FRUSTRATED...I AM HERE

Okay, I said my peace and God knows my heart and I do not wish to cause anyone here distress and so with that I will learn to trust my Lord with even this. No matter what He chooses to do with it, I can rest in His arms.

 

[EdyChristian28]

^ I understand that sometimes were at the most of what we can stand.

I also know that the bible says don't complain and don't argue, which it barely came to my attention.

I'm trying to put a few things into practice

It is a man's glory to over look an offense

also continueing to humble myself and the celibacy thing not because I want to boast but because it complicates things. and apparently in times like this, we make for our efforts to be not as useful to the LORD if we do not resist and not comform to this world. Note that resisting sensuality is difficult, and isn't a one two scudoo type of deal. definitely takes endurance, perseverance, and persistence and trial and error. But please don't go and get your raffle tickets spent and then try. that will not work in your favor.

 

[razzelflabben]

^ I understand that sometimes were at the most of what we can stand.

I also know that the bible says don't complain and don't argue, which it barely came to my attention.

I'm trying to put a few things into practice

It is a man's glory to over look an offense

also continueing to humble myself and the celibacy thing not because I want to boast but because it complicates things. and apparently in times like this, we make for our efforts to be not as useful to the LORD if we do not resist and not comform to this world. Note that resisting sensuality is difficult, and isn't a one two scudoo type of deal. definitely takes endurance, perseverance, and persistence and trial and error. But please don't go and get your raffle tickets spent and then try. that will not work in your favor.

may you learn all that God needs you to learn as you lean on Him and His power in your life.

 

[razzelflabben]

There are over 1000 passages in scripture that talk about listening. Man wants to be heard as does God. I am still studying listening in scripture and thus still learning how to listen. That being said, my husband offered this wisdom to the whole thing...It wouldn't be so bad if they weren't actively trying to silence you.

Amen...and so I will continue to learn to listen according to scripture and hurt from all those that are actively trying to silence me and I dare anyone challenge that pain for it is the same pain Christ feels when people ignore Him and when they try/tried to silence His voice in this world. Especially since I live because of Christ and nothing more.

 

[razzelflabben]

I just read this article 20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You wow! Just wow! There was a man in our church that was very...hard to get along with...he once apologized to me for someone else because in his words, I was too easy going, too humble, and too gentle to be treated like that, lol and I didn't even think it was a harsh treatment. As I previously said, I don't have a strong base for knowing what is and is not truth. I have been manipulated and abused my whole life and so this article was a real eye opener for me. Wow! Unfortunately Satan knows my weakness and likes to exploit those weaknesses.

Now for the strength and wisdom to survive and even thrive despite it all. Wow, just wow, so much is textbook toxic people...people I love dearly and can't just move out of my life.

 

[faroukfarouk]

may you learn all that God needs you to learn as you lean on Him and His power in your life.

Scripture does say: "Hear ye the word of the LORD" (2 Kings7.1).

 

[faroukfarouk]

Now for the strength and wisdom to survive and even thrive despite it all. Wow, just wow, so much is textbook toxic people...people I love dearly and can't just move out of my life.

This is also why in the New Testament the idea of practical patience is such a big thing! The Lord is working His purposes out, despite the habitual toxic behaviour of some ppl who may profess to know Him.

 

[razzelflabben]

This is also why in the New Testament the idea of practical patience is such a big thing! The Lord is working His purposes out, despite the habitual toxic behaviour of some ppl who may profess to know Him.

amen...talked with a dear friend this morning who is having some similar type problems. I was telling her that my husband said that he thought we were both facing these kinds of problems because we were both meek and so people think they can run all over us. She said she agreed, she could see that. Well, long story made painfully short we decided that if that was the case and since scripture calls all of us to be meek we needed to stop trying to blame ourselves and start trying to hear God's voice say, "well done." lol now to see if either of us can succeed in this area of changing how we are facing the afflictions.

 

[faroukfarouk]

amen...talked with a dear friend this morning who is having some similar type problems. I was telling her that my husband said that he thought we were both facing these kinds of problems because we were both meek and so people think they can run all over us. She said she agreed, she could see that. Well, long story made painfully short we decided that if that was the case and since scripture calls all of us to be meek we needed to stop trying to blame ourselves and start trying to hear God's voice say, "well done." lol now to see if either of us can succeed in this area of changing how we are facing the afflictions.

When we act ultimately before the Lord, this is the main thing, and so sometimes what other people may think is 'too bold' might actually be meek in a healthy way; and what others may think is 'too meek' might actually be bold in a healthy way. (The bold/meek paradigm also applies to other areas, inc. tattoos, but we won't go into that here.)
If we are 'looking unto Jesus' (Hebrews 12.2), this alters the whole perspective, even if the unbeliever does not realize it.

 

[razzelflabben]

I am sitting here in a weakened state and wanting to cry. Why do we hate tears so much. Sure they speak of pain but they also speak of love that is profound and deep and unrelenting. Tears tell us as much about the depths of unconditional love as any single act of kindness can. Consider Christ in the garden and the tears He shed for us. And yet we try to hide our tears as if we are ashamed of them. Even the tears that are caused by our brokenness demonstrate the depths of our sorrow over failing the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Those tears that come when we are simply too tired to go on and yet we persevere, pushing through in honor and respect of God's commands. Tears show a depth of love that words fails to show and yet we try to stop the tears instead of clinging to them.

 

[razzelflabben]

for anyone who has followed this long story, the last post I made about the tree....when our son died, the friends whose house we were at gave us a Jonathan apple tree since our sons name was Jonathan. The tree had to be moved when we moved and it looked like it might die. It didn't die and this year it is a beautiful healthy little tree that is full of tiny little beautiful apples.

It's a bitter sweet time of year as we are fast approaching the anniversary of his death and our youngest informed us of something about that our sons death we didn't know but I don't want to distress anyone who is reading so I will pack it away and move on. WE have APPLES...yeah for my little tree

 

[razzelflabben]

My thread, hopefully you all don't take this as complaining...had a rough week, frustrated...yes, God is good through it, need my cortisol to drop and it isn't, just keeps going up which makes the frustration worse, just saying....no other reason than just to say it and move on.

 

[razzelflabben]

wish I could find a forum thread that was intellectually stimulating without all the flaming that goes on...argh maybe it is time to leave and not look back.

 

[faroukfarouk]

My thread, hopefully you all don't take this as complaining...had a rough week, frustrated...yes, God is good through it, need my cortisol to drop and it isn't, just keeps going up which makes the frustration worse, just saying....no other reason than just to say it and move on.

Philippians 4.8 is a good reference point.

 

[razzelflabben]

Philippians 4.8 is a good reference point.

amen....