My son has Aspergers. He will be ten in August. I wouldn't say he is violent, but he does rage. He will scream, flail, slam doors, spit, grit his teeth, etc. The most crucial thing you can do, as hard as it is, is remain calm. Well, actually, the first thing is determine the triggers and cues. If you can determine a trigger and help distract him when the triggers are present that can help avoid a meltdown that winds up with your child in a rage. Rumbling is usually the first stage of a violent fit once the trigger has been introduced. My son's rumbling cues are usually in the form of facial tics. He will squint his eyes and roll them around when he opens them or he makes what he calls his "mean face" and makes a hissing noise like a snake. Once he's there it's zero to rage in less than a few seconds if we're not careful in how we engage him.
In the rumbling stage it's so important you remain calm. Autistic children become even more sensitive when they perceive people are mad at them. Once my son goes into the rumbling mode, even me whispering more loudly or pronouncing my words more sharply will make him scrunch his face up and scream, "why are you so mad at me?!" and then he flies into rage mode. What you need is a diversion, not correction. Try and steer your son's attention to something else. Gently nudge him somewhere away from the trigger and ask him to help you with an important task or show him a picture in a book. Anything that basically short circuits that rage process and redirects his brain away from the trigger.
Behavioral therapy is great, and so is looking into his diet. Many autistic children have gluten intolerance. Some are lactose intolerant. Some are both. Now, most people think of Celiac Disease when they think of gluten intolerance; however, there are many symptoms of gluten intolerance in children that parents mistake for other things. Dark circles under the eyes, breathing problems, sinus congestion, high blood pressure, neurotic or repetitive behaviors (like pacing, spinning in circles, biting fingernails, etc.), sleep problems, food cravings, excessive hunger and/or nausea, weight loss or gain, behavioral problems - these can all be symptoms of a gluten intolerance and other food allergies.
The best way to find out is remove gluten from his diet and see how he does. Get him involved in the process. My son loves helping pick out his own snacks. It's not as hard as it seems. Nowadays, so many people have gluten allergies that gf foods have become better tasting, more affordable, and more readily available.
ETA: LOL And I just realized the OP was from two years ago. I've gotta get better about checking those dates. Ah well. I pray the OP got some help she needed with her son and, perhaps, my post will resonate with someone else reading this who is going through rage issues with an autistic child.
:o
